Playing With Fire
by Dance Elle Dance
Summary: Just as Jacob is starting to become Bella's "personal sun," he imprints on Leah. Heartbroken, Bella finds solace with another werewolf - a more volatile, hot-tempered werewolf who doesn't put up with her pity party. PaulBella, JacobLeah, New Moon AU
1. Torn

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_**Summary: Just as Jacob is starting to become Bella's "personal sun," he imprints on Leah. Heartbroken, Bella finds solace with another werewolf - a more volatile, hot-tempered werewolf who doesn't put up with her pity party. PaulBella, JacobLeah, New Moon AU**_

_I know I shouldn't! I really do! But I've been reading all of these excellent PaulBella fanfics lately, and I've become absolutely addicted to this pairing. I just felt like playing around with scenarios that happened in the book, and here it is! It's something new. A change from all the JasperBella that I've been putting out as of late. And I rather like this idea myself. Oh, and I'll explain more about the timeline and all at the ending author's note as well._

_Alright, so here's my first chapter! I hope y'all enjoy!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter One: Torn**

* * *

Sometimes, there is a moment in life when you just want to say fuck it.

And I've reached that moment.

I hate to sound melodramatic, but maybe that's how I've been in the past months since…_he _left me.

Fuck it, - see? I said it - I'm gonna start calling him by name in my thoughts. Edward. There. I said it. And even as I thought it, the very mention of his name causes the ragged edges of the hole around my heart to fray and tear even more than before.

But at least there was someone to help me through the darkest moment of my life.

Jacob Black.

My sun. My own personal, bright, ever-present sun.

He helped me in more ways than I can count. I don't even know when it started. Maybe when I brought the bikes to his house, or maybe later, but Jake healed a part of me that I had thought would never be fixed. Sure, it wasn't like _Edward _was here, and helping me, but his presence was like a salve to my wounds. Healing, but still stinging whenever the conversation about the Cullens rose up. I would always want him, but lately I had had the fleeting thought about what life would be like with Jacob. Even though I couldn't possibly give him all of me, could I love him enough to keep him happy? Could I be enough?

He loved me enough to give his life for me, and maybe I was looking forward to - sometime in the future - being with him. It wasn't the forever I had been picturing, but it was a type of forever. A good kind. But something that was barely there, fuzzy in the recesses of my mind, and painful whenever I thought about the very notion of forever without Edward…

Apparently, I needn't have worried.

"_I…Bella, there's something that…I…it's about the Quileutes."_

His words echo inside my head as I press the gas pedal down all the way with my foot. To hell with the speed limit. There are just some things that need a free pass after you've been through them.

"_It's called imprinting."_

"_Imprinting_." I hissed through clenched teeth as the rain started to splatter against the windshield.

I shouldn't have assumed that Jacob and I could be together. After all, there was still the matter of Edward, and how I wanted him to come back for me. There was still the matter of the vampire hunting me.

And there was still the matter that I was actually opening up to Jake. Actually trying to be _like that _with him.

Why did everything have to be so complicated?

Jacob Black was a werewolf. He was a part of the Quileute tribe, and they were basically built for hunting vampires, which is what they were doing right now. Protecting me from Victoria because she so desperately wanted my death after Edward killed James. Besides me fearing for my life, and Jacob helping ease my worries, there were some other things that had been said about the tribe.

"_It's like gravity moves. Shifts. Binds you to one person." Jacob had said, his dark eyes kind and sorrowful as he looked at me._

"_So…" I had replied, trying to understand what he was getting at. He'd given me an example of __**imprinting **__before. Sam, the Alpha of his pack, had imprinted on Emily, the cousin of the girl he was in a relationship with. He had broken up with her basically as soon as he set his eyes on Emily, and, like he said "gravity moves."_

My icy fingers clenched the steering wheel as I made a particularly sharp turn, reveling in the adrenaline that filled my body at the fast driving. I listened for any residual sound of Edward's voice warning me to stop, but there was nothing.

_Good. _

I didn't know what came over me, but Jacob…_imprinting_ caused something inside me to snap.

"_Bells, honey, I…" Jake had said, almost on the verge of tears, "I imprinted. On Leah."_

Those words, said so kind and considerately, had broken me.

Destroyed me.

I couldn't even hide my heartbreak. I didn't even recognize my own voice as I had assured him I would be okay. That he shouldn't worry about me. The part of me that imagined dark haired, dark eyed children, playing out in the yard while Jake and I laughed, had vanished. Gone forever. If Sam, Emily, and Leah's story of imprinting was any case, you couldn't fight it.

Jake and Leah were bonded forever.

And there was nothing I could do.

Leah was gorgeous. Beautiful, fiery, and confident, with long silky black hair and dark, smooth skin. Why wouldn't he want to follow his imprint and be with her? I was nothing special, as it was blatantly obvious every day of my existence. My own mundane appearance was solidified by the beauty of the vampires, and now the beauty of the woman who had stolen Jake from me.

No, not stolen. I shouldn't blame her for this. Imprinting was apparently a totally involuntary reaction. It wasn't her fault for this. And it wasn't Jacob's either. They couldn't control what happened.

But that one thought wasn't enough to settle my suddenly queasy stomach.

I slammed on the break, jerking the truck to a halt on the side of the road, and wrenched myself out of the cab, clenching my stomach tightly as I collapsed clumsily, spilling the contents of my stomach onto the squishy grass. The smell of it burned my nose, and I coughed more, trying to get as much out as I could. My hair was hanging alongside the extent of my face like a brown curtain, and I quickly flipped it back, not in the mood to have vomit in my hair.

I coughed once more, spitting on the ground and into the pile of sick around me.

God, I was pathetic.

Closing my eyes, I tried to think of other things, instead of the very thing that made me sick - the fact that I wasn't good enough, _yet again_. It was almost like Edward all over again, except Jacob didn't really have a choice. He imprinted. Edward just grew tired of me and _left._

I spit up again, retching until the muscles of my stomach burned.

I fell back, sitting down in the damp grass, my hair falling behind me as I watched the murky clouds rearrange themselves above me, blotting out the sun. Appropriate that a storm would come, I supposed. What a way to reflect my mood. The only thing better would be if a hurricane would come and envelop this damned town. My back was pressed tightly against the wheel of my truck and I brought my knees up to my chin.

The first droplets of rain hit the crown of my head, and I let the tears consume me.

I was so _weak_. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

But wait, of course I did.

How could I not?

The love of my life - and my supposed afterlife - had left me, just because he supposedly wanted to _protect _me. _Protect?_ The word sounded bitter in my head as I moved my hand backward to smash into the side of the vehicle. The resulting sting wasn't enough, it seemed, so I kept on pounding away at the tires and metal of my truck, wanting to be bruised, wanting to hurt.

Now, I wasn't good enough for the one person who I thought had healed me - not completely, but somewhat. Someone who I thought I could spend the rest of my existence with. Someone who I _wanted_ to spend the rest of it with.

And he had imprinted.

All my thoughts seemed to revolve around those three faces.

Jacob.

Leah.

_Edward._

They all rotated around in my brain, knocking about like bowling pins, one fighting for dominance before the other one overtook that one, continuing where I had started my self-loathing and depressed monologue.

I was starting to get a headache, and possibly a cold due to the rain, when I suddenly felt the droplets cease above me. My eyebrows knit together in confusion and I looked upward, only to see the canopy of an umbrella over the top of my head.

"Are you gonna sit here wallowing in self-pity all night, or am I gonna have to _force _you come with me?"

The voice was slightly unfamiliar, rough, but soothing to my ears - it wasn't Jacob or Leah that had come after me, not that I'd expected them to. I looked up and saw the handsome face of one of the werewolves - not Quil or Embry, but someone else…either Paul or Jared, I assumed. He was looking at me with hard eyes, but a snarky smile was on his lips. Like he didn't _care_.

I shouldn't have expected him to. Not like he knew what was happening with me. Not like he knew that I felt like I was being pulled apart, bit by bit.

"Are you Jared or Paul?" I asked, my voice wavering slightly.

He scoffed, like I should already know this, "Paul."

_Great_, they sent the hothead werewolf, the one with the least amount of control, to come after me.

"And why are you here?" I asked, looking at him with skeptical eyes.

"To bring your sorry ass back to La Push." Paul said, my heart tearing at the insult he hurled my way. Yeah, like that was what I needed, "Jake and Leah practically bombarded me to come, and then Sam put his pretentious Alpha foot down, so here I am."

I looked at him, the tears on my face starting to dry up as the rain pattered around us. "What's with the umbrella?"

"Complaining now that I brought something to help keep you dry?" His smirk was enviable, and he raked a hand through his soaked hair, as the droplets of rainwater made their way down his defined chest. I felt a blush make its way across my cheeks. Just because I was completely broken, didn't mean I still couldn't feel embarrassed in front of a shirtless guy. I'm sure that was something about me that would never change.

"No, it's just weird, since I…I was driving, ya know." I ventured, my eyes not daring to meet his own again.

"Well, the newly imprinted couple didn't know what had happened." I tried to ignore the way my heart clenched when he said that, "After Chief Swan called not knowing where you were, they sent me. Don't ask why. You've been missing quite a while. They made me bring this stupid thing," he gestured to the umbrella, "because with your track record, who knows. You could've been lost in the woods again, or had your truck break down, wandering around the place, lost, and, of course, it's _raining_. You're not exactly the luckiest person in the world, _Isabella_."

The way he snarled my full name caused chills to run down my spine. I looked at him with defiant eyes and snapped, "Well, sorry about that, _Paul_. Sorry to be such a _damn _burden to you."

I rose to my feet, stumbling slightly, and his arm shot out and grasped at my thinner, more fragile human limb. I shook him off before moving to open the door to my truck. His large hand was over mine in an instant, prying my fingers away from the handle. "_What_?" I snarled at him, with all the fury equal to one of his _wolf friends_.

"They wanted me to bring you back to La Push. You ran off without them being able to explain everything fully - "

"Oh, I think I got the gist of it." I said, sarcasm coloring my tone as I desperately tried to pull away from him, but his strong had was tight on my arm, the temperature of his body _burning _my skin. "He doesn't want me. He has _Leah_ now. He imprinted, and that effectively cancels out any feelings he might have had for me. So I'm alone. And I would prefer to be _left _alone, if you care at all. Which I highly _doubt_."

My chin was suddenly yanked by strong fingers, causing me to look at the man that was currently fueling this anger inside me that I didn't know was there. "_Stop that_." He growled, and I could feel his hand shaking against my chin. "Stop with that damn self-loathing. Jake might've put up with it, but I won't."

I glared at him, an undeniable hatred starting to build and build within my body.

"Imprinting…you have no clue." Paul stated, his eyes fierce and feral, boring into mine, "It might have erased whatever _romantic _feelings that Jake had for you, but it didn't make _all _of his attachment to you leave him." He said, and for once, I found the anger subsiding, "Not that you would've actually been with him, even if he did imprint. He told us all - we saw it, through the link. You are still _pining _over your _leech_."

"You - You…_how dare you_?"

"You know it's true. You might have convinced yourself that you would be with Jake, but you know it was all for not. If you were able to be with him, you would've thought about that damned bloodsucker every day. You still do."

"You don't know me." I muttered, grasping his wrist, trying to move his digits away from my face. Being this close to him was infuriating, even terrifying, considering that I could say something to cause him to phase. And, if it happened so close, then I would have the scars like Emily…

Apparently, that didn't matter to me, because here I was, provoking him. "You don't understand at all…"

But it was true. What he said was painfully, embarrassingly true. Edward was a part of me, always would be. And even if I insisted that I wouldn't think of him, I still found his topaz eyes haunting my every thought, every day. With Jacob, it had been better. He had healed me. Maybe that was why I wanted to have that claim over him, because he had made it better, like a salve. And now, that claim was gone. He wasn't going to be able to help me anymore. He had Leah. He loved Leah. I wasn't his priority anymore.

I was so _selfish_.

"I know enough." Paul scoffed as he ripped his fingers away from my chin. The blood rushed back to the area, prickling my face as it did so. I must have bruises by now, right? He looked at me with those bottomless black eyes of his as the rain pattered around him. The umbrella was still over me, trembling in his hands as he fought from phasing.

I could tell he was about to say something else, but something about my change of posture must have tipped him off that he had done it. He had gotten through, though I know that wasn't his intention when he came after me. He was just following orders, and he ended up getting me to admit to myself that I was…that I wasn't _in love _with Jacob. I don't think I would ever be - I _couldn't _now, considering the imprint.

But it didn't stop it from hurting.

The fact remained that the one person who I thought I could actually spend the rest of my life with had imprinted on another…and it still was painful. Despite the selfish nature of my thoughts, it still hurt. I cared for Jacob immensely, and…I should be happy for him.

_I should be happy for him._

The thought took me off guard, and I realized that…that was the best thing I could do for him. I should be happy for him. Because, if I was moping around, then all he could feel was guilt. And that was the last thing I wanted for him. He deserved so much more for putting up with me during my zombie stage. He deserved to be truly happy, with a woman who could truly reciprocate his feelings. And if he still cared for me as a friend, he'd feel guilty that it was his fault that I was sad yet again.

I would do this act. This one, selfless thing. For Jacob, not for myself. I would be happy. I would try to do my best to put a smile on my face - a real, genuine smile - and support Jake and his imprint.

"Something short circuit from standing in the rain?" Paul asked, the wry tone in his voice indicating humor. And I was surprised to hear it coming from the man who had single handedly broken me down and made me see reason.

"You came to take me back to La Push?" I asked him, my eyes searching for his. They met and I saw that they were wondering, contemplating if I was actually sane.

"Yeah." He said, though the inflection in his voice made it sound like the answer was a question.

"Then let's go." I said, opening the door. "I'll drive."

He was confused, but climbed into the passenger's seat anyway. It felt odd, driving with someone that wasn't Jacob or my dad, but it wasn't unwelcome.

Sighing, I started the engine, beginning the trek back to La Push, where I was going to make sure that Jacob felt no guilt over what had transpired.

* * *

_**End Chapter One.**_

_And there it is! The end of the first chapter of this fic that I've been wanting to start for the longest time. I would absolutely love to hear your opinions and everything, so please review! I always love to hear people's opinions on my stories. Yes, I know Bella is being a bit whiny in this chapter, but as you can see, she wants to change for the sake of keeping Jake happy. And wouldn't you be just a bit whiny too, if you found out the guy that had been the key to your happiness had moved on to another, without rhyme or reason? Just a reaction called "imprinting." So yeah…_

_Anyway, this fic takes place a little bit after Jake has phased for the first time. Edward is still away. Bella has accepted the werewolves, and all that. Though Leah has not phased for the first time. Neither has Seth. So right now the wolves are just Jake, Paul, Sam, Embry, Quil, and Jared. _

_If you have any more questions, just review and I'd love to answer them in my next chapter._

_Thanks for reading! _


	2. Breakdown

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_WOW! That's all I have to say after the reviews y'all have left for my first chapter of this fic. I don't know if I've ever gotten such a response for a first chapter. Every one of you deserves my greatest thanks for helping me get inspired for the second - and other - chapters to come! I am so overwhelmed, and just grateful that everyone responded like they did. _

_As for the questions, the story will answer them in time. (wink)_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Two: Breakdown**

* * *

"You are one strange broad, you know that?"

I sighed exasperatedly at the wolf's comment and focused my eyes on the road ahead. It wouldn't be a good thing if I managed to run off the road, now would it? I'm sure that would make everyone feel just wonderful. Why had I let him ride with me again? Wasn't he a werewolf? He could just phase himself out of here and I could be alone, but no. I have to be Miss Hospitable.

"_Broad_?" I said the word skeptically, "What are you, a gangster from the 30's?"

"I was the one who put Jimmy Hoffa in a steel drum and pushed him off of Niagara Falls." He smirked at me. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, turned my way, his bare back pressed against the seat of my truck, soaking it through with rain. Oh, well. He thought he was clever.

"You have your timelines all wrong." I said, and even I was shocked at the amount of venom in my voice. I guess I still wasn't too happy with the things he said about Edward and everything, no matter how true they were.

I guess the truth just hurts like that sometimes.

"Ah, now don't be bitter at me." Paul started, his voice rough and wild, just like his personality. What little I knew of him, I knew that much. "Much as I hate to say this, it doesn't suit you."

Scoffing, I retorted, "Really, now?"

"Well, being a bitter bitch doesn't really suit anyone, now, does it?" He said, his lips curved upward as he sank lower in the seat, staring out the windshield. "Unless you're talking about Leah."

I rolled my eyes and tried my hardest to focus on the road and not on Paul's inane comments.

"Maybe imprinting would be good for her? Since Sam left for Emily, she's been really down." He continued, as if the mention of _imprinting _didn't cause me to grind my teeth involuntarily. "And she and Jake would be good for each other, because he's all sunshine and she's like…I don't know. A thunderstorm? Opposites attract."

I slammed on the breaks; they worked surprisingly well all things considered. I was hoping to throw his stupid ass out the front of the windshield, but nope. He stayed firmly in place, as if he'd anticipated it. I, however, was jerked forward like a rag doll. _And _I had my seatbelt on, something that Paul lacked.

_Damn supernatural beings._

"Are you _trying _to be an annoying prick?" I snapped after I had collected myself, turning my face to glare at him through the curtain of hair that had flew forward and blocked my vision for the moment.

"You'd probably be a rainstorm." Paul continued, as if I hadn't almost tried to give him a concussion, "Almost like a thunderstorm except without all the flashy lightning. Not like you to stand out, right?"

"You think you're clever, don't you?" I growled at him. Funny how I sounded like the wolf at the moment, when he was in fact the _beast _in every sense of the word.

"Most of the time, yes."

"Now is sure as hell not _most of the time_, just for your information."

Paul smirked at me. I was really getting tired of that look. I wanted to smack it from his face with everything I had.

I pushed the thought of giving Paul a black eye to the back of my mind.

_Maybe later._

"I'm a regular William Shakespeare."

_Most definitely later._

"You're a regular _asshole_." I hissed at him, feeling my temperature rise as the rain pounded even more heavily on the truck that we were encased in. Stuck together. Stuck with Paul. I don't think I'd ever had such menial torture as being in the same car with someone I absolutely had nothing good to say about.

It was testament to something that I had never openly disliked someone this much. Not Mike and his pathetic attempts at getting me to date him. Not even Jessica and Lauren and their shallow comments that had been said when they thought I wasn't paying attention.

"_I can see why Edward left her. She's nothing special."_

My fists involuntarily clenched tighter around the leather of the steering wheel.

"_Maybe he'll find someone in California that is actually worth his time."_

No, I needed to stop this. This was the very thing Paul was trying to get me not to do. Dwell on past things and make myself into some sort of self-pitying machine. I owed him that much, for not putting up with my crap. Maybe that was what I needed after all. I didn't need people treating me like a fragile porcelain doll, because…that might be what encouraged my behavior.

Maybe I deserved to get an emotional wakening up.

Maybe I deserved for Paul to give me a mental slap in the face.

Maybe, just _maybe_, I should be grateful for it.

But I wasn't.

I was still bitter, still angry with him. Frankly, every time I looked in his direction, I was reminded of his hurtful words, his stinging accusations, his piercing eyes and his rough voice as he told me off.

I was wounded, but maybe by inflicting those wounds upon me, I could start to heal. Not completely, I think I was far past being fully healed thanks to Edward and now Jacob tossing me aside like a sack of bricks, but I think I might could become mature enough to cope. Mature enough to not make Jacob feel guilty. That's the last thing he needed after I had burdened him with my presence since Edward left.

Why couldn't everything be _easy_?

I had gotten so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that Paul was speaking to me. His deep, husky voice rang in my ears. He was saying my name, and waving his hand back and forth in front of my eyes, a quizzical look to his features. I blinked back my dreamy state and glared at him, "What?"

"Okay, good," Paul said, his voice a drawling sigh, "I thought you had gone catatonic again."

The sharp pang of pain at that memory reared its ugly head, piercing my heart yet again. "Don't mention that."

"What?" Did he honestly not know that what he said just opened about a million other wounds I'd had inflicted since the time Edward left?

"That…about…_that_." I couldn't even voice it without having a piece of me torn away.

"What, when you were lost in the woods after that _leech _left you?" Paul said, his eyes boring into mine. It was strange that he could refer to the most depressing, helpless moment in my life with such casualty. It felt almost blasphemous that he was trivializing my pain at Edward's departure.

"Yes," I said, my voice tiny and fragile, like a small child who had done something wrong and didn't want to get yelled at for it. I felt like he was about to berate me again, for loving someone I shouldn't. For loving someone who I had no right to in the first place. For leading Jacob on like some harlot. For being completely saddening to Charlie all of these months. Making all the people that love me feel helpless, just like I felt.

Damn you, Paul, for giving me an epiphany. All the people that were around me, were hurt by me. By my "zombie" phase. And I felt awful.

It made me want to get to Jake, smile at him, and assure him that I would be there, no matter who he imprinted on. We were friends, weren't we? Best friends. And I loved him. I shouldn't hurt those I loved. Hadn't I done that too much already? No matter how much it hurt me, I would be there for him, like he was there for me. I had caused him so much strife already. He loved me - before he imprinted - and he had to deal with that one-sided affection for a while now, and he finally found the woman who was _meant _for him. His imprint. Couldn't I deal with this? I've been through the ringer too many times to count, and this wouldn't be the first time I came out scathed.

I felt my fingers clench over the steering wheel. Surely there were marks from my nails now as I fought back hot tears.

I could feel Paul's gaze on me, but to hell with him. He should've at least figured how much all of this weighed on my back. I didn't look at him, didn't want to, but most importantly…

I _couldn't._

I grit my teeth so tightly that I felt like they might break.

"Hey," Paul's voice broke through my reverie yet again.

"What?" I snapped at him, and felt the traitorous tears slide down my cheeks. He was the last person I wanted to cry in front of, and it seemed that was were I was heading. I felt the thickness of my own voice, and no doubt he heard it as well.

He looked ashamed of what he was about to say, his eyes were downcast and his face seemed to have a shadow over it. I recognized that look - it was the look that came across Jacob's face every now and then. The look I associated with Sam. He cleared his throat and finally looked me in the eye, "It will be alright, Bella."

I looked at him in shock, tears overflowing and falling freely from my unblinking eyes and down my reddened cheeks. A bitter smile crossed my lips and I let out an even bitterer laugh, "Are you…" I said through tears, "_consoling _me, you mutt?" I couldn't help it, the insult sounded out of my mouth faster than I could reel it in.

This seemed to amuse him, "Mutt, huh? Do you really want to play the mean nickname game with me, _vampire lover_?"

My eyes narrowed, but the tears continued to fall. The rain still hadn't lightened up around us, it only seemed to pound harder, almost intensifying the already dreary mood.

_Vampire, _I thought wryly. That dream was gone forever, along with the man that had inspired it. Images of being immortal and glorious, alongside the man I loved, shattered at my feet.

"Really," I said, furiously wiping the tears from my face, only to have more replace them, "you should come up with better insults. Those are getting old."

There was something indecipherable about Paul's expression. His eyes, though intrigued by my predicament, were as dangerous as I'd ever seen anybody's. He looked at me with dark eyes, a dark gaze, a dark shadow over his features. He looked to be warring with himself. Our gazes battled for a moment before he reached and pulled a piece of soft-looking, red-and-white checkered fabric from the pocket of his jeans and handed it to me.

I looked at the fabric questioningly, my eyes then venturing to meet his. I was so shocked at his sudden gesture of kindness that I couldn't even muster a sentence.

When I didn't move to take it, he pressed the cloth into my palm. I could feel the heat of his skin fan over me at just this proximity, and we weren't even that close. Only his hand was close to mine, and I was feeling like I was in an inferno.

I brought it up to my face and started to wipe my tears with it, my eyes looking over his face, as if to catch anything odd or out of place. I found nothing, as I expected. My tears finally seemed to be leaving me. The sudden swell of emotion wasn't unusual, all things considered, but I wasn't expecting to break down and cry in front of _him_.

"I told you," Paul spoke, his eyes somewhat gentle on mine, and it was a strange sight, "everything's gonna be alright."

"Easy for you to say." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. They felt large and swollen, an awful feeling that I had to deal with too often in the past year.

"Don't tell me what's easy." Paul snapped slightly, his fists started to tremble. I felt my hand clench tighter around the handkerchief he had handed me, scared he might phase then and there. To my relief, he calmed down and finished his sentence somewhat civilly, "Turn into a werewolf after a scuffle with your old man and _then _maybe you can compete."

"What…I'm…" I started, not knowing what else to say, "I'm sorry."

Paul shrugged, but I could clearly see that he was having a problem from his admittance, as vague as it was, "We all have our scars."

I felt my gaze subconsciously go to the crescent shaped bite mark on my arm, courtesy of James. I suddenly felt as if it were the most prominent feature on my body. I pulled the sleeve of my sweater down subconsciously, as if it were exposed.

It seemed he had to shake himself out of his thoughts this time, for the next words out of his mouth were, "Are we going to La Push before dark or what?"

Blinking, I looked out the window, to see that it had indeed gotten darker than it was before, "Sure."

There was a strange silence that settled over us then. Paul didn't bring up Jake or Leah, and I didn't talk. The only sound in the car was the combination of our breathing, since I had mutilated my car trying to get Emmett's present out of the dash, not that I'd listen to it anyway. Music wasn't my thing, not anymore.

My truck moved over the road quite easily, and I looked out the windshield, squinting through the rain so I could see the turn that led to Jacob's house. Maybe he would still be there.

I hadn't even turned in when Jake burst from the house. I could see that much. Through the rain, I could hardly see anything else, other than the figure of a woman standing in the doorway.

I pulled in and parked the car. Before I even had the chance to get out of the cab, the driver's side door was yanked open and I found myself pressed into a hard chest, his body heat seeping through my sopping wet clothes. He was soaked now, too, of course, but he pressed his face into my hair, muttering, "You little idiot. I was so worried, Bells!"

I mashed myself closer to him, thankful for the contact he was giving me. I wanted so desperately to be held by someone I cared about, and this healed that need, but also opened several other wounds.

_Selfish, selfish, selfish… _I chanted in my head, as if it would make it better if I was self-aware.

His arms pulled me tighter, "I'm so glad you came back…I didn't think you would."

I buried my face in his chest - he had a shirt on, which was odd - and the wet material made a _squishing _sound as I pushed my cheek against it. "You're my best friend, Jake. Duh, I'd come back. You're all I have…other than Charlie, that is."

"But - "

I looked him in the eyes, hoping that my expression was fierce, hoping that he couldn't see the telltale signs that I had been crying. I knew that was in vain, because Jacob always knew if something was bothering me, let alone when I was crying. "I know you imprinted. And that's fine." I forced myself to say those words, "I am going to be here and be your friend. I will never leave you, not after all you've done for me. I am going to try to repay you."

"_Repay_?" Jake croaked out, his eyes skeptical, "Dude, we're friends, there is no _repaying_. That's just what friends do, Bells. Friends are _there _for each other."

I smiled at the use of 'dude'. It seemed so out of place in the serious bubble that surrounded us. "Right."

"So does that mean you're leaving?" Jake's tone was teasing; he knew I wasn't going to leave. I loved him too much to do that to him.

"You wish you could get rid of me that easily."

I felt his chest vibrate with a laugh as he brushed the wet hair from my face. "Let's get you inside before you catch cold."

Smiling, I nodded my head and he led me to the door. I looked up at him and watched him turn his head in the direction of Paul, who was gazing at us with a strange look on his face. "Same goes for you, too, Paul. I don't care how much you deny it, but you helped a bunch. And Sue has cooked for us anyway, and I know you're hungry."

Paul quirked a brow and immediately his demeanor was the same as usual. Brash, hotheaded, combined with a snaky sense of humor.

"Why the hell not." He said as he walked closer to us, meeting us on the porch, where we finally were out of the rain's grasp. I was rather cold, I now realized, even though I had basically a human space heater next to me.

Paul looked down at me - I didn't realize how tall he was until now. He was almost as tall as Jake. Then his eyes connected with the beautiful girl standing in the doorway and a smarmy grin appeared over his features, but this one was different somehow. It was strange at how I could read over his expressions and pick out minute details, even though he probably wouldn't like the fact that I kept looking at him.

"You'd better not have helped Sue cook, Leah." Paul said, a glint in his eyes that I had never seen before. "The last thing I need is food poisoning."

Her eyes narrowed, but a devilish smirk appeared on her full lips as she flipped her low ponytail over her shoulder so her dark, pin-straight hair fell along her back, "You'll just have to eat and find out. Cyanide is quite the common item, if you know where to look. Tell me if you feel a tightening of your throat."

"Can't wait." Paul said, grinning toothily at her as he brushed past, but there was something in his eyes that unsettled me, though for what reason, I couldn't be sure.

_Rude… _I thought to myself as I watched him disappear into the Blacks' residence.

Jacob prodded me forward. I hadn't realized I had stopped altogether just to watch the exchange between Paul and Leah. His large, warm hand was on my soaked back, and I could feel the heat coming from his palm.

I looked up shyly at the only other woman around, and suddenly felt more than inadequate. No wonder he had imprinted on her, she was gorgeous, and if the stories I had heard about her imprinting fiasco with Sam and Emily, she loved like no other, despite the odds. She was a fiery, gorgeous woman, and just being in her presence made me feel second best.

Leah stood in front of me, looking very domestic with an apron strapped around her slim waist. She was only a few inches taller than me, but somehow she felt taller. One of her bare feet propped the door open, and her arms were crossed underneath her breasts. Her dark eyes appraised me and a soft smile curled her lips. "Welcome back, Bella."

I was surprised that she hadn't berated me like Paul had, but maybe there was something kind about this woman who Jake had imprinted on. She might have looked intimidating, but maybe that was just on the outside, because she had been hurt so many times, she had a natural toughness about her. It reminded me of Rosalie…

My heart clenched as I remembered the sister I'd never have. Though she never liked me, she was still a lost family member and I ached for her.

_Idiot. _I thought to myself as I tried to smile back. My lips were trembling and I realized how cold I actually was.

"For God's sake, Jake, get the poor girl inside." Leah saw what was wrong and surprised me when she reached out and grasped my wrist, pulling me in the house. "Gonna get the poor girl pneumonia."

"Geez, Lee, my bad!" Jacob said, his eyes wide and shocked at Leah's sudden display, "Sorry, Bells."

"Nah, it was my fault." I smiled gently back, "Old feet won't move."

Jacob shook his head and smiled, "Sure, sure."

We were in the doorway now, and Paul was standing beside Sue with a look on his face that screamed _hungry_. Sue was trying to swat him away with a hand as she stirred something that looked like soup. Jake looked over my head at Leah and asked, "Would you look in Rachel and Rebecca's room to see if there's any clothes in there for Bella to wear?"

My clothes were plastered to my body, and a change would be welcome, but I didn't voice the need, not wanting to complain.

"I think I can dig up something." Leah said, placing a slender hand on my shoulder and leading me back down the hall, past Jacob's room, to one of the rooms that on of his sister's had.

Officially pushing all thoughts about _imprinting _and _Edward _to the back of my mind, I only focused on that welcome distraction that I would soon have dry clothes on my back and a warm meal in my stomach.

* * *

_**End Chapter Two.**_

_And there's the end of this second chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed this one as much as they did the first chapter. Y'all have no idea how much your feedback for this fic has meant to me. I have been so extremely happy for this fic that everyone seems to like it so, I couldn't wait to finish this chapter! I had no idea I'd get so much response for just one chapter. It gives me faith for the rest of the fic!_

_Thanks again, to everyone, for reading! _


	3. Link

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight!_

_Oh my GOSH! I'm so completely stunned at the responses I've gotten for this fic. 81 reviews for two chapters! I'm…speechless. Totally, completely speechless. It's a good kind of speechless, though, and I'm so glad that everyone is interested and asking questions about the fic and everything. I hope to answer them as the fic goes on, because I don't want to give anything away. _

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Three: Link**

* * *

The door shut behind Leah with a barely audible creak.

"Let's see…" She moved over to the bathroom that adjoined with the two sisters' shared rooms and got out a used, slightly worn-down towel and tossed it at my head. "There. Dry yourself off, girl."

I was stunned at the light, lilting tone to the endearment of _girl _coming from her lips. It wasn't like she hated me at all, and I thought she had every right to. I was the one who had been such a baby about her imprint. Had made him worry about me at her expense. And, apparently, once the imprinted knows they're _imprinted_, then they know everything about werewolves.

That included the vampires.

Assuming that Jacob had spilled all, Leah knew about me and Edward, and the fact that Edward was among the undead.

But, she was being cheeky towards me. Almost _nice_, even. It was shocking. Maybe, with these different circumstances, I could have a friend like Jake, except one of my own gender. One of whom I felt no romantic attachment to. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself, but I'd had enough of my depressed state, and I _wanted _to act positive, though right now it was using up all I had to just conjure these thoughts of friendship.

"Well," Leah was now looking at me, a strange expression of exasperation and light heartedness playing over her face. Her hands were on her hips, mashing the apron against her sides. "are you going to just keep staring out into space like a zombie or what?"

_Zombie. _I winced at the familiar moniker, and Leah sighed.

"Zombies are not necessarily bad things," Leah said roughly, running a hand through the silken strands of her ponytail, "I mean, _Shaun of the Dead_, there ya go!"

I let out a pathetic little laugh, "_Fido_."

"_Night of the Living Dead_."

"_Dawn of the Dead_."

Leah noticed that this was getting my mood up somewhat, discussing something as trivial as movies, and she grinned toothily at me. It reminded me somewhat of Jake's easy smile from way back when and I felt a part of me ache. The whole still hadn't closed, and it was making it painfully aware right about now.

"Now, here," Leah said. I had finished drying myself off, and she tossed me a pair of sweatpants along with a t-shirt that had obviously seen better days. "Put these on. Jake would kill me if I let you catch cold."

_I doubt it. Because he __**couldn't**__. _I thought bitterly to myself, and the sound was even a shock to my mental voice.

_When _had I become so bitter?

Shaking my head, I tried to keep a positive mindset, which was proving to be taxing.

I turned around, walking into the bathroom. Leah looked as if she were going to protest. Probably something about "we're both girls here!" But she let it drop. We weren't _in that place _yet. Hell, we probably never would be. But it was a nice thought.

Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I didn't lock it. No need to. I stripped myself of my clothes; they landed with a soggy _plop _on the dirty, tiled floor. Standing naked in front of the mirror, clean and pristine despite the surroundings, I looked at myself sadly. My skin was paler than usual. Dark circles adorned the skin beneath my eyes. Hair, though still damp, looked unhealthy. My mouth was set in an unhappy line.

_Ugly, ugly, ugly…_

I bit my plump lower lip, wanting to tear into the skin to relieve this anguish building within me. I wanted to hurt myself as all the emotions washed back over me.

_Ugly…_

It was almost as if I couldn't escape the cloud of depression that always settled over me, like a thief in the night. Some kind of sick, twisted marking of my shattered self.

_**So **__ugly._

And it wasn't just my appearance I was berating.

It was _myself_.

Inside, outside. I couldn't see anything worthwhile. I don't know why. It was just _me_. I had nothing left to bring anyone except the shell of myself, and maybe a few fake smiles thrown in. With Jake, they had been so natural, and I hoped that maybe - just _maybe_ - that could happen again without it being awkward.

Big, fat, traitorous tears swelled from the bottom of my eyes and threatened to fall. Blinking once, twice, I rid myself of them.

_Do not _be weak.

I can't be weak.

For once, I have to be strong.

Strong by myself, without the help of _Edward_. Or Jacob, for that matter. He had Leah to worry about now. I was just going to have to find a way on my own to at least find some semblance of happiness.

Disgusted at my nude body, I quickly turned away from the mirror and put on the warm clothes. They were a welcome furnace around my shivering body, and I looked at myself in the mirror, lifting the corners of my mouth slightly in what should be a smile.

_Come on… Meryl Streep, please lend me some of your acting prowess._

Taking everything I could, I flashed a bright grin that almost surprised myself.

I shook my head, my soaking hair flying around my face like a pathetic duplicate of a swimsuit model. I then sighed, wrapping my fist around the doorknob and opening it, only to be met with the wryly smiling face of Leah.

"Ya clean up nice, Bella." Leah grinned that same toothy grin. But now it didn't remind me of Jacob - it was a whole other entity, filled with simmering confidence and appeal that I knew I couldn't duplicate. Not at the moment, at least.

I let out a harsh breath of air between my teeth and looked at Leah with a hopefully friendly roll of my eyes.

Her nose twitched, "Damn! Paul must've touched the food. Something's burning!"

I looked at her strangely, my eyes knitting together in confusion. I surely hadn't smelled anything. She must have a good nose for food - or _trouble_, where Paul was concerned.

She grasped my wrist, her large hand wrapped around it quite easily, her thumb overlapping the tip of one of her fingers, and pulled me along. "That damn Paul! I will kill him if he's ruined mine and Mom's cooking."

"I support you fully." I told her, a hint of humor entering my tone. After the day I've had, I wouldn't mind Paul getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter by the tall woman beside me.

Leah looked at me, almost shocked at the sound of a joke in my voice. Or something else, I wasn't sure. But the look passed almost as quickly as it came, and I gave her a shaky smile, as if reassuring her. Of what exactly, I had no clue.

We burst into the kitchen, and Leah looked around the room with an almost predatory gaze. Her dark eyes settled on Paul, who was waving his hands in the air like some kind of bird, a sheepish smile on his face, as Jacob and Sue glared at him. Various curses and insults were fired at him and he just shouted, "I'm sorry!"

I snickered with genuine mirth and pleasure.

Maybe I'm a bit of a sadist, along with my other various problems.

"What did you blow up this time, _Paul_?" Leah asked, sauntering forward with her hands on her full hips.

"I swear, I…"

His voice trailed off, a murmured fading into the background that I hardly paid any attention to.

The only thing I noticed was Paul's eyes.

Tender, but joking. A smile on his face. Something that I'd never even imagined would go well on his rough features. But, there they were, like he smiled all the time. I felt something strange constrict in my chest, something like a breaking, but not for myself. It was for _him_.

No, it wasn't like when Edward left me, alone and trembling in the forest. It wasn't like when Jacob announced he imprinted. This was something I didn't feel just out of my pain, but it was almost like I knew what Paul was going through right at this moment. Because that look on his face, the all encompassing look of happiness for her was tinged with a slight bitterness.

Despite that, he looked at her with adoration in his eyes. Complete, utter adoration and a softness in his eyes that…that…

I clenched my chest, feeling the ratty fabric of the t-shirt against my fingers.

_He loves her._

The thought came to me without me willing it. It was almost like someone had whispered it in my ear, that was how detached it was from my own thought process. My mind had been numbed by pain, so the realization that Paul felt that way was almost ignored.

_Almost_, but not quite.

With this realization, his actions when we first got to the Black residence were more clear to me. The smile on his face, the glances, the joking. It was all apart of his feelings for her.

Maybe I was out of line. Maybe they were just close.

But I doubted it.

I couldn't stop staring at him now, standing, explaining himself to Leah, with those eyes that betrayed everything to anyone that would just _look _into them. I felt a surge of sadness. We were somewhat in the same boat, and yet we were so different other than that. This person, who I thought I had nothing in common with, shared the one bond with me that I wouldn't force on anyone - a shattering heart.

I'm sure he wouldn't put it that dramatically. He would probably just scoff and brush it off as nothing, calling me a fool, but I know better. Now I felt like I saw past his hot-headed façade and into the person he hid from anyone. And all it took was one look at his eyes.

He really wasn't that different from us humans, after all.

It somehow felt too intimate to even look at him, but before I got the opportunity to separate my gaze, Paul's eyes found mine, and they hardened. The difference was almost comical. Did he realize how transparent he was? He was about as good a liar as I was. Though I'm sure he could use words to his advantage, his expressions gave him away.

"I would say you clean up good, but that's a lie." Paul said, and though the words would normally cut me, he said them with a smile and a wink towards me, which I found rather odd.

Apparently, Paul had two modes: temperamental or just plain _confusing_.

"Really," I looked at him, and I could feel my lips quirking upward despite myself, "funny how I was about to say the same thing, in more or less words."

"Probably _less_." Paul chided, and I saw his white teeth as his grin spread to cover his face, crinkling his eyes.

"Funny, coming from the person who talks enough to fill a novel in sixty seconds."

"That's just because I'm smart."

"Notice, I said _fill _not _read_."

"Oh, burn!" Leah grinned, slapping Paul on the back as Jacob came to wrap his arms around her from behind, pressing his broad lips into the crook of her neck. Again, the flaring in my chest was from the pain brought on by the sight, but maybe I was slightly getting used to it.

Or maybe it was the fact that Paul was in the same boat that had me comforted.

"She's got you there, Paul." Jake smiled, his voice muffled by the skin of Leah's slender neck.

I inhaled deeply, as the searing edges of the whole flared with pain, lancing into me like some kind of javelin. Why did it hurt so much to see them like this? He wasn't Edward, but it hurt _equally_. Like my loss of Jake was just as great as my loss of Edward. When, in my mind, it wasn't. But it was there in front of me - maybe they were equal. Maybe I had grown to love Jake over time. And more than a friend. Was that the reason why I was so reluctant to let Leah have him?

My mind was muddled with confused thoughts, and I didn't know why I couldn't just clear them. It was like I was babbling incessantly, over and over inside my head, without stopping, without trying to keep the thoughts at bay.

"You gonna keep staring out into space or are you going to get something to eat."

"We don't _have _anything to eat anymore, Paul." Sue said in a loud, clear voice, full of authority. "And it's because of you."

"Well…" Paul's full lips pursed and he scratched his scraggly, yet thick hair. "Why don't we go out to eat? I'll buy."

"Oh, jeez." Leah said, her eyes rolling, but she then smiled, "Well, if it is at Paul's expense, then it sounds good to me."

"_Everything's _at my expense." Paul said, his tone lilting, but there went his eyes again, betraying almost every bit of what he really felt.

"I'm just going to go back to the house. Make some macaroni." Sue said, sighing, tired.

"Make some for two, darlin'." came a thick, booming voice from the door.

"Hey, Dad!" Leah beamed, her smile bright and welcoming.

Harry Clearwater stood at the doorway, raincoat on, boots caked with mud, "I've come to retrieve my wife."

"Wow, you sound medieval." Paul snorted, which earned a playful glare from Harry.

"That was the time of my birth." He winked at me, "Hey, Bella."

I lifted the corners of my lips up in a smile and said hello to him as well. It was a quiet, feeble thing, and it seemed like Paul looked my way, like he could see all through me. Just like I could see through him. His gaze lingered on me, as if he fixed a very vital part of the puzzle.

I'm sure he would share that with me later.

"Well, we were just about to get going." Jacob said, smiling, "You two can help yourself to anything you want."

"Appreciate it." Harry smiled, "Now you kids get along."

Jacob laughed and brought Leah along with him as they sauntered out the door. I just stood alone, feeling Paul's eyes on my back and wondering why everything suddenly seemed so convoluted when it was should be so simple.

I stepped out into the porch, with Paul trailing me. The rain had let up, and there was even a bit of sun coming out and blessing us with its foreign rays. I let a smile grace my cheeks, and for once it felt genuine.

"You're really trying, aren't you?"

The gruff voice caught me off guard, and I started. Turning around, I connected gazes with the hot-tempered wolf and gave him a small little smile. "I suppose you could say that."

Paul's eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "I swear you're bipolar."

"Maybe." I said in a voice full of false contemplation. "But then again, aren't you?"

He stiffened, as if catching my drift right away. "No."

"I think you are."

"Coming from someone who is crazy over someone who is out of their reach."

A stinging, burning pain erupted in my chest at the wry, smug comment. It was as if he couldn't stop hurting me, no matter how hard he tried. I didn't know why, but then as soon as the pain ebbed away, I felt anger. A simmering anger that kept building and building beneath the surface of my somewhat cool façade.

But I wouldn't let him get to me, not this time.

I wouldn't run. No, I had done that too much already.

I wouldn't cry. Again, it was something I had done too much already. Though I desperately wanted to squirt a few tears, I had no intention to do that in front of this _man _ever again.

So, I squared my shoulders and offered him a smile. One that wasn't tinged with the anger that I wanted, but something that was just a bit worse than anger.

Pity.

The smile I gave him was filled with that emotion, just because we were, in fact, in the same boat, despite our various differences, we were all linked by the fact that we loved someone we shouldn't. Someone who wasn't made for us.

So instead of crying for him, I smiled for him, when he obviously couldn't do that himself.

I smiled for him, and let the words ring loud and true throughout the somber silence that filled the space between us.

"We're the same, then, Paul."

Before I turned from him, I got to see the way his face crumpled in rage, and then a hint of some other emotions - bitterness, sadness, shock.

The thing that scared me more than his shaking fists was the fact that I felt such _kinship _to a man I felt I should hate.

* * *

_**End Chapter Three.**_

_And, there's chapter three! It felt like forever to get this one out, but I finally got through it. I got big plans for this little fic of mine, and this is just the beginning! I am SO very happy for all the kind, wonderful reviews I've received regarding this fanfic. I really look forward to hearing your opinions on this chapter!_

_Thanks so much for reading yet again! This just makes my day that so many people are enjoying this story so early into it! _


	4. Camaraderie

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight!_

_The responses for this fic are insane! I love that everyone is enjoying this fic. It's really remarkable at how many people have reviewed the first three chapters. I'm in awe…it's just amazing and y'all have no idea how much I appreciate them! So, here's chapter four!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Four: Camaraderie**

* * *

I didn't know why I was doing this.

Everything about the situation seemed to scream at me, _"Don't do this, Bella! You don't have to go eat with them! You're hurting enough already!"_

But, of course, I've always been stubborn. It's one thing that Edward always told me. I've always been stubborn and eager to please, and apparently those things were enough to find me in this situation. The only respite I found was on the way over to the simple little diner in La Push. Leah and Jake had taken their own vehicle, and that left Paul and I to another car - my own, rickety truck.

I don't know why Paul wanted to ride with me. It seemed rather odd, all things considered. I thought he would hate me for calling him out about his feelings for Leah, but he just followed me to my truck and hopped in the passenger's seat like it was no big deal. I didn't blame him. I would want to ride with someone who had nothing to do with imprinting as well.

Paul didn't speak, and I didn't prod him. It was rather nice, actually. Strange, too, but mostly nice. I guess Paul could be good company when he wasn't talking.

I followed Jake and Leah's car to the diner, and I parked side by side with them, only to see them exchange a kiss before climbing out of the car. My heart gave a painful little leap at that, and I wondered if I really was a masochist. I could've just said I wanted to go home, that I wasn't feeling good, but I didn't. I guess I was trying to prove to myself that I could go through complete and utter _shit _and still be strong - something I failed at when Edward left me a miserable and sobbing heap in the middle of the woods.

I climbed out of cab of the truck, Paul already standing outside in the slight drizzling of rain that surrounded us. I looked over at him, and saw that his dark eyes were fixated on me. I had a slight inkling of worry go through me at his gaze and then sighed. I don't think I'd ever be able to figure him out, not even if I got to know him as well as I knew Jake.

"Ready to go eat?" Jacob chirped, his white teeth almost blinding as he observed us.

I gave him a soft smile, trying to hide whatever I felt, "Yeah."

Paul grunted beside me.

We walked to the small diner, me and Paul keeping in step behind Leah and Jake, whose hands were twined together intricately. There goes my heart again, throbbing in my chest like some broken toy about to wheeze its last. My eyes focused on their hands a bit too long, obviously, and I forgot to watch where I was going.

My foot caught beneath the second step that led up into the restaurant and I stumbled, almost falling on my face, but a warm, helping hand encircled around my forearm, the grip almost painful. It was _hot_, too. Almost burning through my freezing flesh.

I looked from the strong, russet hand to meet the pair of eyes that belonged to the owner of the limb. Paul looked at me with very cleverly concealed concern, and said, "You okay?"

His voice was strange. If I didn't know any better, it was almost like he was actually caring about what was going on with me. It was almost like he didn't hate me, when I was sure he had every right to.

I felt my cheeks color despite myself, "Fine. Thanks."

Paul grunted and helped me to my feet. I accepted the help, but wondering why he had offered it in the first place.

The imprinted couple didn't even seem to notice my slight faltering, only went ahead and opened the door. We walked into the place behind him, and I don't know about Paul, but I certainly felt like a third wheel.

Jake bent down and kissed Leah's cheek and I inhaled a sharp little gasp that seemed to stab at my throat.

"I don't know why you came." Paul stated to me, simply and roughly. Like always. And I didn't need an explanation for his words, because they made all the sense in the world to me.

So, I said, "I don't either."

Paul scoffed and led me around to where the two other La Push natives were sitting. They looked happier than I had ever seen them - and that was saying something if I was talking about Jake, who used to always be happy before the whole business with Sam and the vampire hunting. I groaned, hating myself for being so jealous, for being so _hurt_ when I should just accept what was going on and move on. But, then again, the situation with Edward had proved just how incapable I was of doing that.

At least this time, I was trying. _Genuinely _trying. No more of the zombie nonsense. Frankly, I needed to be alive. Once Jacob had helped me through the zombie days, I never wanted to go back. But, now…I don't know what I was going to do.

They sat down in a booth and Paul and I sat down across from them. They lifted a menu and started to point at various things that looked good to them. It was almost like we didn't exist. The waitress came by and asked what we wanted to drink - I ordered just a water, nothing fancy. I didn't feel like soda or juice.

I looked at Paul, who was staring at his own menu, but I could see the vague signs of irritation etched on his own forehead, his eyebrows knitted together in a sign I had seen all too often on Edward's face when I had said something particularly puzzling. Except there was no curiosity to the look. Only pure pain I could see. Surely, to anyone not looking, they would be unable to see it, but for someone who looked at him - really_ looked _- they would see the damage this whole thing was taking on him.

It pained me to see him like this, for some reason.

To see the man who had been so adamant on getting me out of my funk and dragging my sorry ass back to La Push look like me at the very start of the day, except more angry and less depressed, was something that ached my heart for no sure reason.

Leah and Jake were whispering something to each other, and I had no clue what it was. No clue whatsoever. Again, it felt like we weren't even there. I felt the sense of aloneness sweep over me like a tidal wave. Though I was with three other people right now, I had never been surer of my status in the world.

Paul's hand clenched into a fist so tight that his knuckles turned white.

I gulped, hoping that Paul didn't phase right here and now. That would definitely not be a good way to end the day.

The waitress came by and took our orders, bringing back the drinks we ordered earlier. I sighed and lifted my water to my lips, taking a swig after I told the woman what I wanted to eat. Paul and Jacob held back in their orders, only getting _two _hamburgers _each_ instead of the usual seven. Leah requested the same thing I ordered, chicken wings.

After the waitress left - not too long after, however - Jacob lifted Leah's face to his own and gave her a sickeningly sweet, loving kiss. I felt my stomach turn. Not because it was nauseating, but because…well, it made me sick. It made me think of the solid kisses Edward and I used to share. The delicate ones. The passionate ones. The kisses I would never feel again. I felt my eyes begin to water, and I was screaming at myself to not cry, not cry, _not cry_!

But there they were, traitorous tears streaking down my cheeks like they had almost all day.

_Damn it. _I thought to myself, cursing my weakness and how much I loved him. _Damn him._

I felt eyes on me and I looked over to Paul, who was staring at me with some strange expression. I didn't know what it was, only that it made me feel uneasy. His dark eyes…there was something dangerous about them. Something different than Jake's easy gaze. It was more intense, more _understanding_ than I had ever seen it. He stared at my tear-stained face and I saw his fist clench around the water that he had ordered, cracking the glass.

"_Hey_!" His voice was rough, and for a second I thought he was talking to me. I wouldn't be surprised. But his voice was directed to the two who were kissing in front of us. His fist encircled tighter around the glass, and another crackling sound greeted my ears.

Jake and Leah shot away from each other, looking sheepish, cheeks red and mouths parted in wonder. "What, Paul?" Leah demanded cheekily, almost like she didn't know what she had done and was trying to play it off.

"I went and got Bella for you, you two practically _begged_ me to." He snarled, and for a moment, I was startled that he used my name. "And this is how you're going to treat her once she gets her act _somewhat _together?"

I froze, my mouth hanging open in shock.

Was he…_standing up for me_?

"What are you - " Jacob tried to protest, but Paul cut him off with a look of his intense, dark eyes.

"Do you know how much it took to get Bella here?" Paul started, his ferocity unsurprising, but stunning at the same time, "Did you know how much hearing about your _imprint_," he snarled the word, "hurt her? And yet, she got it together to get here, to try to act as if everything is normal, and you go ahead and fucking _PDA _in front of her the whole damn time?"

Leah and Jake were silent, the sudden weight of his words hitting them like a freight train.

"She didn't have to come here. But she did, because she obviously wanted to be as good a friend to you as you were when that _leech _left. She wanted to _support _you when she was the only one who would get totally hurt out of this whole situation. How fucking _dense_ are you, Black?!"

He was shaking, trembling, and the glass shattered in his grasp. The shards of glass cut into his palm, but Paul looked like he didn't notice. They started to heal up right away, but the blood stayed on the table.

Jacob looked speechless. I know I sure as hell was.

My heart felt warm, though. It was almost like it was burning within my chest, as hot and sharp as Paul's grasp had been around my arm. Like he was squeezing my heart with his very hand, enveloping it with heat.

"I'm so sorry, Bells." Jacob said after a minute of shocked silence.

"It's okay." I murmured, a few tears still falling down my face.

"Me too." Leah said, looking at me with compassionate, dark eyes.

I nodded.

Paul rolled his eyes, grasping my wrist. The heat that made its way from his fingers and into my skin was enough to make a chill run down my spine, despite its warmth. "Do you feel like staying? Honestly. Don't give me no bullshit martyr answer."

I paused, knowing that if I said I wanted to say, Paul would decipher the lie, and scream at me. Instead, I said what I felt, honestly, at the time, with a smile of all things, "I would like to go home, actually."

Paul gave me a rough smile, "Good. I'll drive."

He pulled me up, giving the imprinted couple a look, and said, "See you two later."

I waved in a flimsy manner, and gave the two a smile, "Bye."

They waved back in a silent goodbye, obviously thinking about what Paul had said.

Frankly, Paul couldn't have been more right. I don't think I could have said it better myself. I wished I had the guts to do what he did, but I knew that what he had said was for his benefit just as much as it was for mine. He didn't like seeing _his _Leah with Jacob, just like I didn't like seeing _my _Jacob with Leah. It was a strange cycle, but I wasn't complaining. He got me out of that awkward beyond awkward situation, and I was grateful.

We trudged through the rain, which had gotten heavier since we stepped foot in the diner, and walked to my truck. It was the familiar silhouette that made my heart warm and long for home. I wanted desperately to see Charlie, to let him know that everything was fine. He knew nothing about the events of today, and I didn't know if I wanted him to know. I sometimes liked having Charlie in the dark, because then he was less likely to pity me, but I knew that Billy would probably tell him sooner or later.

Ugh.

I opened the door as Paul walked over to the driver's seat. Usually, I would be wary of anyone driving my truck other than me, but at the time, I wasn't worried about it.

We pulled away from the diner, and I felt a weight be lifted from my shoulders. It was like I didn't have to put on a charade any longer. Or, at least, around Paul. It was strange, almost like I had this heavy mask on the whole time and only now it was lifted from my person.

I breathed in deeply, feeling the cool air slide down my throat, before I looked over to the hot-tempered werewolf that was clenching the steering wheel as if it were his only means of survival. He drove surprisingly well, much to my relief. The last thing I needed was to get in a wreck after everything.

He looked over at me, "_What_?"

"Nothing." I said, looking down at my hands. I just realized that they were shaking, and I quickly stuffed them into my pockets. I was suddenly afraid to look weak in front of this man, who had seen me at the worst of the worst just earlier today. And now he was standing up for me and driving me home. Could this day get any weirder?

I didn't think it could, until I asked, rather civilly, "Would you like to eat supper at my house?"

Paul slammed on the break a little too hard, almost causing me to hit my head against the dashboard. "What?" He repeated for the second time, except now it was laced with surprise, and maybe a tinge of concern for himself. He knew my dad was the chief of police here and maybe he thought I was going to let Charlie lay him a new one.

Quite the contrary, actually.

I didn't want Charlie to do anything to him. Just treat this guy civilly. Just like I would be treating him. I guess a part of me wanted to thank him for standing up for me, when I had been to beside myself with sadness to do anything about it. And I guess, for just a bit, I felt indebted to him.

He was the one who had made me see reason when I was weeping on the side of the road just earlier today. He was the one who felt the same sense of utter hopelessness that I did, though it was different in each cases in the literal sense, it was the very same in the broad spectrum of things - we both loved people we shouldn't. And now, Paul had defended me when I could hardly speak due to the pressure consuming me.

I felt like I at least owed him _something_.

I also figured that a hot meal was the least I could do. Despite the fact that I had gone from hating him with every fiber of my body to feeling a kinship with him to feeling respect for him all in a span of mere hours, I thought the least I could do was invite him to my house and cook up a decent meal for him.

That's if he would take the offer.

He looked at me, and before he could say anything, his stomach growled in the most cliché manner imaginable. I had to stifle a laugh - it was an odd sound in my throat. I didn't think I'd be able to laugh again after the whole ordeal that had happened. But then again, I was wrong.

I guess it couldn't have been all for me. I wasn't that self-absorbed anymore, I didn't think. Paul probably got a bit annoyed at the loving couple himself and wanted it to stop. For the sight of their loving gazes to be saved only for when they were alone. I knew that was how I felt.

It was very possible that Paul had only stood up for me because he wanted them to stop for _his _sake, and he knew that they would if he brought my name into it.

But, somehow, I doubted it.

Though Paul was rash and hotheaded, he didn't seem like the type to use a woman to get what he wanted.

So I looked at him, studying his features with weary eyes, wondering if he would accept my invitation or not.

"I don't need your pity, _leech lover_." He said, his eyes hard as stones.

I was shocked at his words. The insult burned the edges of my heart, but I tried to ignore it, "It's not pity, Paul." I said tenderly, shocking myself, "It's gratitude."

"_Gratitude_, huh?" Paul snorted as he pulled into my driveway. I wasn't surprised that he knew where I lived, though I knew I should be. Forks was a small town. Everyone knew everyone. Not to mention the fact that Jake had been having his wolves patrol by my house ever since he found out I was the one Victoria wanted.

Or, well, _wants_.

The fact that the wolves still haven't caught Victoria was a constant prickle in the back of my mind. Something that caused shudders to ripple down my spine just at the sight of my own house, knowing that there could be a maniacal red head out there, ready to kill me and Charlie at a moment's notice.

No one could save us if she got her hands on us first.

I shivered, despite the warmth of the truck.

Paul looked at me, sizing me up, it seemed. I felt my cheeks color like they always did when people looked meaningfully at me. I turned away, looking out the window of the truck, and said, "You don't have to. I was just trying to be nice."

"_Nice_?" The word seemed like it didn't exist to Paul.

"Yeah, _nice_." I snapped back, not even bothering to look at him.

Paul suddenly started to laugh. It was a rough, untamed sound, too uncaring to even bother with it being attractive. But the dissonance within it made it sound pleasing to my ears. It was such a far cry from Edward's musical laughter or Jake's gleeful hollers… It was kind of…_wonderful_ in its own way.

I didn't know what he found so hilarious, but somehow I didn't care. I just watched how his eyes crinkled at the edges, lost some of the hardness they had before, and saw his lips stretch so wide that it showed almost all of his teeth, strikingly white against his dark skin.

He seemed to finally gather himself together long enough to say, "Nice. Right. You?"

"I'd like to think I'm not an outright bitch most of the time." I told him matter-of-factly.

There was a small smile that came over his lips, and his eyes didn't hold the mocking look they usually had. There was a softness that came over his features that seemed to bring a whole new side to him that I had yet to process. It was all so _strange _that I struggled to process it.

He then grinned at me just as his stomach growled, "Well, hopefully your old man can cook because it looks like I'm gonna take up your offer." He smarmily stated, "Since, after all, you made me leave the diner in the first place."

"Hey!" I shouted at him, indignant, "I did no such thing. You left and dragged me with you!"

"But you know you wanted to leave." Paul edged on, grinning like the very wolf he was. "I was just helping things along."

I decided to ignore him, and instead stated, "My dad isn't cooking. He can't cook his way out of a paper bag."

"Then…take out?" Paul quirked a brow at my statement.

"Nope." I said, opening the door and stepping out into the now pouring rain, "_I'll _be cooking."

Paul turned off the engine of the truck and tossed me the keys, which I clumsily dropped into the nearest puddle. I had to dig to get them out, and sighed when I found them. He then turned to me with a grin on his face. "Dazzle me with your cooking then, _Swan_."

I ignored the sharp pangs that resonated through my chest at the casual word _dazzle_. Strange at how just a silly word like that could make you wish you had never uttered it in reference to a man you loved. I pushed the feeling to the side, knowing that I would have to deal with it later. Preferably not in front of Paul, who I was trying my hardest to get along with right now - surprisingly, after his little stint at the diner, it wasn't that hard.

I grinned at him through the rain, and through the tears that threatened to prick my eyes at the remembrance of all I had lost.

"You'll be stunned speechless."

From the look he was giving me now, compared to the one he had fixed me with earlier that day, I think he already was.

* * *

_**End Chapter Four.**_

_There it is! Chapter four is over and done. And…just wow. The responses I keep getting for this fic are absolutely dumbfounding. In a good, amazing, wonderful, spectacular way. I love to hear everyone's opinions and the fact that everyone is enjoying this little story of mine is just enough to make me SO incredibly happy. _

_This chapter had some slightly playful PaulBella interaction towards the end. I enjoyed writing that very much. Haha. They're still a LOOOONG way from becoming a "couple," but they have to start somewhere, right? This is one of those slow burning stories that I just love so much. Haha. Sooo…that's all I gotta say right now other than THANKS AGAIN for the lovely reviews! I appreciate them so incredibly much!_


	5. Shock

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_I am so blessed to have everyone reviewing this story so faithfully! And my new reviewers, I am grateful to y'all too! I am so glad that so many people are enjoying this fanfic of mine, when it's a new thing for me to write. I hope that everyone likes this chapter and reviews! It would be very appreciated!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Five: Shock**

* * *

I practically burst down the door to the house, ready to get out of the rain and out of the sopping wet clothes that were clinging to my body. This was the second time in a day I had been in drenched clothes, and I was surprised that I wasn't sick already.

I sneezed.

_Way to jinx yourself, Bella. _I chided myself, looking for Charlie. There he was, in the living room, watching some television. Most likely a game, due to the frantic look in his eyes. His team must be losing, but at the sound of my sneeze, he looked over to me, his face crinkling with a smile.

"Welcome back, Bells." He appraised my attire, "Forget an umbrella?"

"Oh, you have no idea." I told him as I walked into the kitchen. I felt the heat at my back, so I supposed Paul was following me.

"Paul?" Charlie's voice was incredulous, as if that was the last person he'd expect to see in our house.

"Hey, Chief Swan." Paul said, his voice strangely polite. Well, I guess he had to have a civil side somewhere. It was probably the reason he hadn't been killed by angry villagers yet.

"Just Charlie. You know that." Charlie smiled at him.

_Wow. _I thought to myself, walking into the kitchen. Paul stayed in the living room, chatting with Charlie about Lord knows what. Their easy familiarity was unsettling, but I guess it was better than me bringing home a guy that my father was totally unacquainted with. I shuddered at the thought of what would've happened if he hadn't have known Paul.

I decided to go all out tonight and make beef stroganoff. It was Charlie's favorite dish, and one that I didn't make as often as the others because it took up so much time. From the lack of pizza boxes around him, I figured he hadn't eaten yet, so that made me glad. I hoped Paul would like this as well, and that part scared me just a bit - me _wanting _Paul to like my cooking?

I found it amazing how much feelings can change in the span of a few hours.

Sighing, I got out the necessary ingredients and started on the food. Maybe this would be a needed stress-reliever. Cooking sometimes provided me a release, and I smiled as I started to boil the water and thaw the ground beef. I had everything in one pot - noodles, beef, sauce - which took about an hour, before I was interrupted

"Bells?" My father's voice came from the doorway and I looked at him, granting him a smile that only slightly felt out of place on my features. I felt lighter than I had all day, and I hoped it showed. I didn't feel like discussing the reason for my elevated mood, because in all truthfulness, it had to do with that damned werewolf that was now sitting in my living room. And I felt too prideful to give credit to him of all people for pulling me out of my funk.

"Hey, Dad." I said, turning back to my cooking.

I didn't realize the tone of his voice was leading up to something serious until he just came out with the bomb.

"Paul told me what happened."

I tensed, my knuckles becoming white as they clenched the spoon I was stirring the food with, "_What_?"

Had he really the nerve to tell my father that I was a mess after Jacob told me he was in love with Leah now? Did he really mention how broken I was when he found me, crumpled on the side of the road, punching the tire of my truck and sobbing?

_How dare he!_

"But you seem to be holding up well."

Ignoring his comment, I demanded, "What did he say?"

"Just that Jacob was dating Leah now. And he was trying to help you." Charlie said, and I didn't doubt him. I knew Paul couldn't tell him the whole situation, because that was against the rules. "His intentions seem good, Bella, so please don't be too - "

Before he could say anything else, I stomped into the living room, not caring that my stroganoff was probably burning right at this moment. "Paul!"

"Hey, Martha Stewart, what's wrong?" He asked, quirking a brow. I ignored his playful tone and stood right in front of him, hands on my hips, no doubt looking like a woman possessed. The heat in the room had dried my clothes for the most part, but my hair was still damp and sticking out in odd directions. I hadn't even bothered to go change, which was probably a dumb decision on my part, but I was so wrapped up in cooking that I didn't bother.

"You. Told. Charlie." I barked, making every word a sentence.

"Yeah, so?" Paul drawled, as if it were no big deal.

"Did it ever occur to you that I _didn't _want him to know, you stupid wolf?" I snarled, trying to make my voice as intimidating as possible.

Apparently, it was very hard to intimidate a werewolf.

"I thought he should." Paul said, yawning and totally ignoring my insult, "I mean, if you suddenly lapsed back to how you were before Jacob helped you, without Charlie knowing _why_, wouldn't you think that would worry him?"

"I wasn't." I insisted.

I had vowed to myself earlier that day to not be a burden to anyone. To not go through that zombie phase again. It was taxing on everyone the first time, and not to mention that things were almost normal again - _or as normal as they could be without Edward, _I winced as the pain seared through me as I thought of him - and I…maybe, just a bit, I wanted to be as normal as possible.

"Mm, hm." Paul said, leaning back, stretching his limbs so far that his feet hovered above the coffee table.

"Don't you think he'd be more worried now that you told him?" I sighed, exasperated. All this anger was tiring, but it was still slowly simmering beneath my skin.

"I think he'd be more worried if he didn't know what was wrong and you went all zombie Bella on him again."

Damn him, he had a point.

But _why _did he have to be so _infuriating_?

"See? For a stupid wolf, I got some brains." He tapped his head with a single, slender finger.

I suddenly felt bad for insulting him, which I shouldn't have. I had every right to be mad, but…I didn't feel good for calling him a _stupid wolf_. Instead of apologizing, of course, I said, "Sounds hollow to me."

Paul gave me a toothy grin. It had more of an edge to it than Jacob's usually sunny smile, but it wasn't like the hard, awful smile that reminded me of Sam. This smile was different, unique. Rough and wild, just like him.

I liked looking at his smile more than I wanted to admit.

"Er, Bella?" My dad's voice came from the kitchen, "_Bella_!"

"What, Dad?"

"Your…er…_food_ is…uh…"

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath, low enough for Charlie not to hear. Paul laughed, obviously having heard me.

I raced into the kitchen, only to see the smoking pot of what used to be beef stroganoff. I looked at it, half of it was burned to the bottom of the pot, while the other half looked completely inedible.

"Oh no…" I groaned. I had been so intent on screaming at Paul that I had forgotten about the food on the stove. And now it was utterly, completely _ruined_. I slapped myself on the forehead, not minding the resounding sting that accompanied the action.

"I'm sorry, Bella…I didn't know…" Charlie trailed off, and I believed him. Like I had told Paul before, Charlie couldn't cook his way out of a paper bag.

"It's fine…" I felt my cheeks heat up, remembering the other thing I had told Paul before we had gotten inside.

"_You'll be stunned speechless."_

Right. Now it looked like he'd be stunned speechless by my stupidity at leaving my food unattended.

I groaned and moved to throw the ruined food outside, where some bird or animal could enjoy it. Paul watched my movements carefully, with a lazy smile on his features, and I snapped at him, "Don't say a _word_."

"You're saying it all, sweetheart." He replied with a playful venom.

I wanted to _hit _him.

Strange how I could be so grateful for Paul one minute and then feel so resentful of him the next. I swear that man was making me bipolar or something. It was very odd at the constant change of emotions, like a roller coaster, swinging me about, taking me to the peak of happiness and then bringing me down into the valley of anger and dismay.

_At least you're feeling__** something**__. _A voice nudged in the back of my mind.

I had to agree.

It was dark outside, and chilly. I could feel the cold of the lingering winter. All of the heavy rain that had poured down today didn't help with the temperature. But at least it stopped, that was the last thing I needed, the rain whipping around me like it had all day, pretty much.

Once I was toward the edge of the woods, far away from the house, I turned the pot over and dumped out the contents. It took me longer than I had to, for I had to scrape and scrape to get the remnants of the stroganoff off of the bottom of the pot. As soon as I had gotten done with that, I looked up and into the forest that surrounded my house.

I got a chill, and I was pretty sure it wasn't from the cold. I gazed into the forest and wondered why I felt so…_vulnerable_. It was almost like someone was watching me, waiting for my reaction. I didn't know why I felt that way - it was something I found myself unable to explain…

A white-hot hand grasped my wrist.

"_Bloodsucker_." The snarl was in my ear, protective and defensive all at once.

I turned to see who it was that held my wrist, though I knew who it would be as soon as I heard the voice. "What…Paul?"

"She's gone." He said, but his grip didn't lessen.

I looked at him, my eyes demanding an answer, but…but suddenly, all of his nonsensical words had slapped me in the face at full force, rendering me unable of making coherent thoughts.

"_Bloodsucker." _He had said, and it was full of hatred.

The only other vampire here, that would possibly be near Forks…

Red hair flashed through my mind, and eyes, equally as red, flared in my vision.

"Victoria." I whispered through trembling lips.

Had she been right here? Was that the strange sense of voyeurism I had felt while I emptied the pot of ruined food? Was she watching me, waiting for an opportunity? A shiver rippled down my spine.

Paul's hand clenched tighter around my wrist, so tight that I felt like he was going to cause my bones to crack in his strong grip.

"Let's go inside, Bella." His kind voice was a gentle caress in my ear, though he still sounded tense. I could feel the air around him shimmer and shift as he tried to ward off the transformation.

"Is…is she gone?" I voiced, feeling more fragile than ever.

"Yeah. For now." I saw his ears twitch slightly at some invisible sound, "Sam and Jared are chasing her now."

"How do you know?"

He pointed to his ears with a slight smile, "Wolf hearing."

"O-Of course."

I let Paul tug me back to the front door, feeling like I was on wobbling legs the entire time. My previous façade of bravery that I had been desperately trying to uphold in front of him was shattered at my feet, leaving me open and vulnerable.

"She knows where I live."

I heard Paul growl deeply after I said that, and I wondered why he cared.

He moved us along, and finally we arrived at the front door. He opened it and told me to try to compose myself enough so that Charlie wouldn't think there was anything wrong. I nodded, because that was what I wanted most of all - to protect my father. He didn't deserve to get dragged into the world of the supernatural, and I needed to try my best to give him the most protection I could, though that was hard in my current, weak, human state.

"Get lost, Bells?" Charlie said from the couch, giving me a wary smile.

"I guess you could say that." I said, my voice wavering, but I tried to keep the fright from it.

"I ordered pizza."

"That's good." I said, gulping, and looking at Paul, who was smiling forcibly.

"Everything alright?" Charlie was sometimes too perceptive for his own good.

"Bella just saw a snake outside." Paul laughed, clapping on my back. In that moment, he reminded me so much of Emmett that my chest constricted with crippling pain. If the werewolf's hand wasn't holding me up and to him, I would have crumpled. "Haha, so cute, ain't she?"

It was clearly a joke, a made up thing, fabricated and false to keep Charlie from knowing the truth, but I was sure my face was as far from _cute_ as I could possibly get right now. I was shocked that he referred to me that way, though. If I hadn't been so scared for my life, I might have even been flattered.

"Yeah." Charlie said with a wistfulness that I almost smiled at. My hands were trembling. "She hated them when she was a little girl."

He didn't ask why a snake was out at night in the rain, but we didn't push it.

"S-Still do." I gave a rough laugh and felt Paul's hand slip from around my wrist. Somehow this simple gesture made me feel naked and exposed - unprotected. As if his stupid, grasping hand was enough to keep Victoria at bay.

The doorbell rang and I about jumped out of my skin.

"Don't worry, Bella. Snakes don't have arms. They can't ring doorbells." Charlie chided in a tone that was so out of place in my chaos clouded brain.

And, typically enough, it was the pizza delivery guy. Surprisingly, as small as Forks was, we had a pizza place with delivery service, and for that I was glad. It was going to take a lot to get me out of the house the next day.

We ate in silence, with the ball game on in the background. I idly looked at the score, and saw Charlie's irate expression - yeah, his team was definitely losing. I kept stealing glances at Paul, wondering what he was doing. He was obviously going easy on the pizza, though his face showed that he wanted nothing more than to eat the whole box and then possibly order at least five more.

But his eyes. His eyes were guarded. Though he was clearly enjoying the pizza, he was glancing around the place, keeping guard. This made me feel safer, but somehow I felt uneasy about him going up against Victoria alone. Not that she would come directly into the house - no, I think she wanted just me, and to get what she wanted, she wanted me _alone_. To make me suffer.

Laurent's words from the meadow came back with startling clarity, _"If only you knew what she had planned for you…"_

I shivered, despite the toasty heat of the room.

The hour seemed to go by quickly. I was barely aware when Paul said it was getting late and that he had to get on home. Good thing Charlie didn't know we had arrived in the same vehicle, or he would've asked how he was getting home. It made me uneasy to think of Paul outside, hunting Victoria, along with any of the wolves. I hated it…

Paul said his goodbyes, gave me a look I would describe as meaningful, and left.

He just…_left_.

Charlie was turning off the television to the living room, looking exhausted. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was almost ten o'clock. Shaking my head, I groaned as I watched Charlie walk up the stairs to his bedroom. "I'm going to head to bed, Bella."

"Saw that…" I muttered, trying to inject some semblance of joking there, but it fell flat.

"You should too…you look sick." Charlie called down to me. "Sleep good."

The click of his door was the only noise I heard before I let the tears start streaming down my face. Crying. _Again. _This was just fucking wonderful. I wiped the stubborn tears from my cheeks and walked on shaky legs to my room. A sneeze interrupted me, causing me to stumble forward slightly, scraping my knee on one of the steps. I groaned at my own weakness and forced myself up the rest of the way. I almost ran to my door. Once I was in my room, I slammed it behind me, pressing my back against the wood, sliding down to the floor in a helpless mess.

I heard something move in my room. My heart stopped in my chest as I searched the area, but couldn't find anything, for the lights were off. _Stupid. _I chastised myself as I reached up to flip the light switch.

The room was lit up immediately, and there was Paul.

"Damn it, what are you doing in here?" I hissed at him, my heart thudding violently in my chest.

"I was checking to see if there were any bloodsuckers up here." Paul snapped back, his eyebrows narrowing at me, "You could at least be thankful I'm thinking about your safety."

I was too shook up to be touched by his words. "I thought you _were _the vampire."

"Never." Paul scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. His bare chest was wet with newly fallen rain, and I realized he had been outside as well.

It was quiet for a moment, the silence palpable.

"I'm going to be patrolling around your house tonight." Paul voiced, and I couldn't even hide my shock.

"You…you don't have to." I told him, stumbling over my words, "I don't want to be a burden."

The fact was, no matter how much I didn't want him to worry over me, I would feel better if anyone was watching out for me, even if it was Paul.

"Geez. I see what Jake's been talking about this whole time. Well, thinking, actually." Paul groaned, running a hand through his wet, matted hair, "You really are too self-sacrificing. Seriously, Bella, you look green, and I know that you would feel better if I stayed outside around your house."

"Well, then it's settled." Paul said, stubbornly crossing his arms over his muscled chest, "You'll have nothing to worry about."

Suddenly, it felt like I was looking at Paul completely different. I had seen so many sides of him throughout today, and it was starting to all blur together. Was it really just earlier today that I had sworn I hated him? And then there was a healthy amount of respect I'd developed for him after the thing at the diner, and now this chivalrous side? It was insane… My head started to whirl. But then again, it could just be the desire to kill Victoria. Yes, that was it. No personal tie to it at all. Just to get another "filthy leech" out of Forks.

But there was a protectiveness in Paul's eyes that made me hope - foolishly - something different.

I shook my head slightly, wanting to rid that thought from my mind more than anything.

So I said, in a small voice, through frozen lips, "Thank you."

"Well, that's a first." Paul scoffed, his voice light and easy, though the utter unease never left his face. He turned to the open window he came in, and said, "I'll be around."

Then, he leapt through the air, so elegant and graceful that he resembled a trapeze artist.

I was left alone - alone but not alone at the same time - with drying tears on my cheeks and the sensation of invisible, enclosing hands around my neck.

* * *

_**End Chapter Five.**_

_There y'all have it! The fifth chapter. It totally went in a different direction than I was planning, but I rather liked how it turned out. I just took the idea and ran with it, and here we are. I'm trying to build trust in the relationship between Bella and Paul, so she doesn't see him as just an arrogant asshole. Lol. _

_Anyway, I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter! I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions. I always love that. Haha. Thanks so much for reading this fic! I appreciate it more than you know! _


	6. Protector

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much everyone! I know I say this before every chapter, haha, but I really am so grateful for all of your reviews. It makes me so happy to know that everyone is enjoying this story of mine, and I hope that y'all like this chapter just as much as the other ones!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Six: Protector**

* * *

I didn't get much sleep.

Hell, I didn't get _any _sleep that night.

In fact, I question anyone who could possibly get sleep after being face to face with death, just inches from having your throat ripped out, if it weren't for the werewolf that you _should _hate, but can't quite find the energy - or the willpower - to.

I kept listening, all through the night, though I knew it was futile. I knew it was useless to try to listen for Victoria - or for Paul, for that matter. Those werewolves were just as stealthy and quiet as the vampires. I had learned that from Jacob.

No footsteps would give them away, which frightened me. I hid beneath my covers throughout the night, not wanting to leave the security of my blanket, like a child. I felt like I was seven years old again, frightened and scared of the dark that held imaginary monsters that would eat me for their dinner.

The only difference was that these monsters I was scared of now were very, _very _real.

I sat on the edge of my bed, looking out the window. It was shut and locked, as if that could keep a vampire out. I found a sense of peace at watching it though, one that had eluded me all night. The sun was rising slowly, lightening the entire expanse of my yard. The darkness gave way to the light. Somehow, that made me feel a bit better, as if that applied to people and not just nature.

I shivered, despite the warmth of my room.

Paul hadn't come back last night. Somehow, I don't know why, but I wanted him to. Most likely because of the sense of camaraderie I felt whilst around him. I felt like he understood me, but he didn't treat me like I was breakable. He didn't put up with my "crap," and I respected him for it.

I sighed as I watched it become lighter and lighter. The sun never really came out - this was Forks, after all - but it was soon daytime. According to my digital clock, it was six in the morning. Plenty of time to get ready for school. Make breakfast, and whatnot.

It was a Monday, to top everything off with a brilliant red cherry.

I got up reluctantly, and moved out of the room. Charlie would have already left by now. He had to be at the station by six, and I had the house to myself until I had to leave for school. Somehow, that thought scared me. Like Victoria would take the opportunity to kill me while I was alone in the house, where she could torture me without any thoughts of repercussions, and then burn the thing to the ground to get rid of all the evidence.

Again, a shiver rippled through my body.

I made my way into the bathroom. Having foregone a shower last night, I desperately needed one. I still smelled like rain and dirt and the earthy scent of werewolf.

I made my way into the bathroom, looking left and right, as if my enemy would pop up anywhere at any time, and sighed exasperatedly before I opened the door and stepped into the room.

The shower was welcome. The searing hot water seemed to relax my joints, warming me completely. I lathered my hair with my strawberry shampoo, taking my time. I had plenty of time before school, so I figured why not take a few extra minutes in the shower? I scrubbed myself with the soap and shaved before just standing underneath the spray, relishing it.

The hot prickles of water stung my skin in a pleasant way, and I closed my eyes, imagining that I was somewhere else, anywhere else, but here.

After a while in the shower, I shut off the water and got out. I got a fluffy white towel and dried myself off before turning it on my hair, rubbing and forcing the dampness from my long brown locks. I then wrapped the towel around my body and made my way back to my room.

I opened the door, bracing myself to find the wickedly grinning face of Victoria, but instead…

"What the hell?" I shouted, clutching the towel closer to my body.

Paul looked at me, his eyes amused, "Forward, aren't we?"

"Get out of my room!" I shouted like an indignant child.

"I just came to see if you made it through the night," Paul said, rolling his eyes, "but, I'll ignore the fact that you shouted at me if you take the towel off."

"You…you…" I couldn't even find words. How could I go from being relaxed one second to flustered and embarrassed in the next? "_Ugh_!"

"Oh. I'm hurt." Paul said, his voice faking the pain he said he felt.

"Is that the only reason why you're here?" I demanded, glaring at him despite the fact that my face felt like it was about to spontaneously combust into flames. The blush had made its way all the way down my neck to grace my collarbones.

"You look like a lava lamp." Paul said, smirking.

"Yeah, well at least I don't look like a mangy _dog_."

"Yes, well, that's only when I phase." He said, not missing a beat, "Otherwise, I'm a stud."

"I really could kill you, you know."

"If you drop that towel, you just might."

"But - But, you just said you wanted me to drop it! You make no sense!"

Paul's smirk only grew wider, "Is that _disappointment _I hear in your voice, Bella?"

I was taken aback by the casual use of my name. Even though he had said it before - just yesterday, to be exact - it still took me by surprise. I expected him to use my name with hatred, with dislike, but he didn't. He used it like he would use any of his friends' names. Like Jacob's or Leah's or Jared's…

Was that what we were, then? Were we going down the road of a tentative friendship, all because of the events of yesterday?

I hated myself that I hoped that was the case.

"More like disgust." I was finally able to snarl at him, my eyes fierce.

He was smiling at me now, eyes focused on my face and no where else. I had to feel a sense of warmth from that. He wasn't raking his eyes over my body, he wasn't drooling - not that I thought I was drool worthy or anything, but I was a girl after all, and that was enough for most guys. He seemed to avoid looking at my towel clad form. Something that would have bothered me before, but it seemed like he was trying to preserve my modesty by not looking.

I felt a slight smile quirk the edges of my lips.

He looked at me, "What's funny?"

I made my way over to the closet, keeping the towel firmly in place, aware of the eyes on me. I was shocked with how comfortable I felt around him, even in this towel. It was strange, the strangest thing I'd experienced. Well, the strangest non-supernatural thing, that is.

I brought out a green sweater and a pair of jeans, along with my undergarments, and made my way to the bathroom. I could almost see Paul's bewildered expression behind my lids, and I let a laugh escape my mouth.

Laughing, how odd.

Especially since I didn't know _why _I was laughing.

I changed quickly into the clothes I had picked out, ran my fingers through my slightly damp hair, and made my way back into my room, where Paul was now sitting on my bed. He looked up as soon as I entered the room, and now appraised my form. It was even stranger that he would be more willing to look at me when I was fully dressed and not in only a towel. It was like the reverse of everything I'd ever expected when it came to guys.

Not that I had much experience, other than with Edward.

My chest contracted in slight pain after I thought his name. But I would live with it. Being with Edward was a decision I had made, and I wasn't going to live in fear of his name any longer.

Or…I was going to _try _not to.

Paul looked at me, and gave a lopsided smile, "What now?"

"Well, _I _have school." I told him. "What _you _do is your own business."

"I mean, you have school in about an hour." Paul said, his voice sounding mildly interested, "What are you going to do until then?"

At that moment, my stomach growled. I smiled slightly at the human gesture, but then another, louder growl came from Paul's own stomach, trumping mine.

"I win." Paul smirked, triumphant at the most childish of things.

I smiled at him, a foreign gesture on my part, and said, "I guess I'll cook." I said, making my way out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen. I didn't hear Paul get up, but he must have been following me closely, because I could almost feel the heat radiating off of his back.

And because, when I tripped over one of the uneven floorboards, he caught my elbow, wrenching me up with his inhuman strength, snorting something about how he doesn't know how I'd kept myself alive all this time anyway.

My cheeks flared red with embarrassment as I wrenched away from his hand, threatening to let him starve.

"Wouldn't be the first time." He smarmily said, reminding me of the disaster that was last night's dinner.

I ignored that comment and made my way into the kitchen. I decided to make some scrambled eggs. They were quick and easy. I had plenty of time to make them, and then get to school without worrying if I would be late or not.

The eggs were sizzling in the pan and I poked them around with the spatula. My eyes watched them cook as I tried to ignore the very large presence of a certain werewolf in my kitchen. It was alien, this feeling of having someone else in the room that knew of what was going on - _Someone that wasn't Jacob, _I clarified to myself. Because recently, that was the only person I'd been hanging around. Even after my break with the zombie persona, Jake was my best friend, after all.

_Even if he had imprinted… _I thought, gritting my teeth together.

Suddenly, I didn't want to see him at all, and I scolded myself for even thinking of him. His betrayal was a different one than Edward's. It left a whole wound of its own. The night at the diner slapped me in the face, reminding me that he didn't care for me feelings. All he cared for was…_his imprint._

_His _Leah.

I felt my hand start to throb with pain and only then did I realize that I had been holding onto the metal of the spatula like it was the only thing keeping me grounded in reality. I pried my fingers away from the object and looked at my palm. The lines, red and precise, bit into my hand from where the cooking tool was clenched.

I switched hands, hoping that Paul didn't see what was going on, and flipped over the eggs some. A few minutes later and they were done. I brought out two plates and put the eggs onto them, setting one in front of Paul and the other where I was going to sit, along with forks.

"It might not be up to par with Emily's cooking, but I tried." I smiled to myself, moving to the refrigerator. I heart Paul snort, and figured he was laughing at my comment. I brought out two glasses and the carton of orange juice and sat one in front of Paul before moving to my side of the table.

I looked up and my mouth dropped.

Paul's plate, which had been full of the fluffy yellow scrambled eggs, was now _empty_.

"Oh…my…" I mumbled, sitting down limply in the chair as I just stared and stared and _stared_ at the figure in front of me. He was looking content now, though I doubted he was full. The portion I had fed him was enough to feed a human, but definitely not a growing werewolf.

"Sorry." Paul said, and if I didn't know better, I would've sworn he sounded sheepish. "I haven't eaten since that pizza last night. And plus I've been patrolling all night, so…"

I blinked. What could I possibly say to that? "Uh…no problem."

It was quiet for a while, until I found my voice again. "Would you like some orange juice?"

Paul laughed, a barked sound, and smiled, "Sure."

He reached over the table and grabbed the carton of orange juice as I dug into my eggs. He slurped down two glasses of the juice before I even finished my food. I rolled my eyes slightly before looking at him.

He looked tired. Almost like Jake when he didn't get enough sleep after his watch. I felt slightly bad, because I hadn't noticed it before. His eyes were dim and his joking persona from before seemed to have been drained slightly after he ate. Well, it was a proven fact that eating a bunch made you sleepy, even though I know my small portion of eggs wasn't enough to get him full.

"What're you staring at?" He asked me, even his drawling voice sounded tired.

I didn't know how to answer that, so I didn't even bother to lie trying to cover it up, "You just look tired, is all."

His full lips twisted into some kind of a smile, and I cocked my head to the side, wondering.

"Yeah, well, it's no big deal."

A scoff erupted from my lips and I found myself skeptical, "Tough guy."

"I try."

"I know."

Silence enveloped around us after that. I didn't know what else to say. Again, the feeling of foreignness was pressing down upon me. Another strange, strange occurrence was the fact that he was letting his guard down - albeit slightly - in front of me.

I studied his features. He really did look exhausted. Almost sickeningly so. It made a part of me want to reach out and hug him. It was like looking at him as a child, so tired and helpless, when I knew that between us, I was the only one that was helpless. Having no supernatural powers or strength, I was the liability in any situation, something that clawed at me deeply.

Pursing my lips, a question I wanted to ask reared its ugly head.

"Any luck last night?"

This caught his attention, and he looked at me in wonder, almost like he was surprised that I asked him about this. His lips quirked to the side, almost like he was trying to smile, and the expression immediately became bitter. Something, I realized, that I really disliked on his face.

"Almost." He said the word, and I felt chills go down my spine. The predatory way he said that singular word was enough to prickle the hairs on the back of my neck. "We almost had her, but again, she _escaped_." He said through gritted teeth.

"To where?"

"The borderline between Alaska and Canada." He said, his eyes never leaving mine. "She went into the water after that, like she's done before, and left us in the dust. Those _things _are really sneaky…"

"You went…all the way to _Alaska_?" I said in disbelief, as if that was the only thing I heard.

Paul nodded, looking at me now like I was stupid. "_I _wasn't there. Last night, I was outside your house, in case she doubled back, remember? Besides, the others didn't even break a sweat." He bragged.

"Right." I said, feeling a slight tinge of guilt that I had put him out there in the first place. "But you're tired."

"You'd be tired to if you were up all night."

Right. I knew this almost as good as he did, because even now I was fighting a yawn after my failed attempt at sleep.

"You're tired too." He pointed out, the most obvious thing in the world to him.

"Couldn't sleep." I said, rubbing my eyes.

"You have no need to be scared." Paul said, his eyes soft, but no trace of a smile on his lips, "I am plenty capable of handling a bloodsucker on my own. Not to mention the fact that Jared and Quil were just minutes away anyway. They would help if I needed it."

His reassurance felt nice, but I knew the effects wouldn't last. It reminded me a bit of Jasper's curious talent of controlling emotions. You would be fine when he was in the room, but once he left, the peace faded and you were back to square one.

Why did my last image of him have to be his snarling, contorted face as he tried to kill me?

The pain struck me then, and I grasped at my arm, fingers digging into the thick wool of my sweater.

"Don't rip your sweater up." Paul said, "It looks expensive."

Slightly surprised at his perceptiveness, I groaned, "Hardly."

His eyes glanced to the clock on the stove, "You should probably be getting to school."

I looked to where his eye were and gasped slightly, "Holy crow!"

Paul snorted at that, his eyes amused.

"I gotta go." I said, rising from my seat, grabbing his plate and putting it beneath mine and sitting every one of the used dishes in the sink. I'd clean them later. I rushed into the living room, got my keys, and grabbed my book bag, slinging it over my shoulder as I rushed out the door.

"Bye to you, too!"

I turned around, looking at Paul's tiredly amused expression. I was halfway into the cab of my truck and called, "Bye!"

He waved casually from the curb, his eyes undecipherable.

I shut the door and cranked the truck. It roared to life in every sense of the word, and I started to drive off, almost glad for the distraction of school after the rather eventful morning I had already been subjected to.

As I drove off, I looked in the rearview mirror, thinking I would see Paul.

I did.

The tall, muscular form of his body stood, almost unmoving, like a pillar, and even from the distance, his gaze felt protective and feral.

Something about that stance reminded me that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was.

Yet, when I looked back, the space was empty, almost like he was never there in the first place.

* * *

_**End Chapter Six.**_

_And there ya go! Chapter six is done, and I hope that everyone liked this little bit of Paul and Bella interaction. I thought it was an interesting chapter. Lol. I had a fun time writing it. I hope that everyone liked reading it as much as I liked writing it! Haha._

_Anyway, I am stunned by the amount of reviews this story is getting. It means so much that so many people like this fic. I love to hear your opinions on this fic of mine, and hope that you leave a comment. Haha._

_Thanks for reading!_


	7. Adjustments

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Okay, so… I have a lot of things to say before I get started with this chapter. I have no idea how often I will update this, but I have a vague idea of what's going to happen and…as of right now it's filled with angst and whatnot. General Twilight fare. May or may not end happily. Um, and I have a huge, mega, OMG apology to give everyone for not updating for so long. I just got out of the Twilight craze for the longest time, and…well, with Breaking Dawn coming out, I've decided to pick this baby back up. I hope that y'all will forgive me for not updating in over a year, but I was lacking in inspiration and feeling kind of overwhelmed. Now, for some reason, I kinda want to have the stability of a chapter fic in the works, as silly as that sounds. Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for all of my spacey-ness, in a way. Please enjoy!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Seven: Adjustments**

* * *

School, for the most part, sucked.

I mean, it always sucked. Ever since the Cullens left, I'd hated being around the place, hated all the things that the small campus and the tiny, cramped classrooms made me feel. I hated wandering the halls with no sense of purpose, making grades that I didn't care about and ignoring friends that I didn't want to care about. I had been in my own personal bubble of suck for the longest time, and had just started to get out of it.

Things were different for me, I found, as soon as I parked my truck. There was a strange lightness to the day. I didn't know if it had anything to do with my conversation with Paul earlier that morning or what, but somehow I felt…peaceful.

Maybe I had just accepted my fate.

Or was delusional.

Both seemed the likely answer.

I got out of my truck and walked to class with hardly any time to spare. I hated spare time, still. Though my thoughts weren't as preoccupied with Edward and what could have been, I still didn't like any extra time in which I had nothing to do. That would allow me to have to dwell on the shambles of my once normal life. Which I didn't want to do.

The classes seemed to go by extremely slowly. I wasn't sure why that the whole day was coated in molasses, but it was agitating me. I had to force myself to stop looking at the clock every five seconds. One by one, the classes went by, and I ended up in the cafeteria without even knowing how I got there. I walked through the line and grabbed my food, not even paying attention to it. I wasn't even sure I was going to eat; the eggs from this morning still felt heavy in my stomach. I slid along the cafeteria, walking around the place before coming to sit at my usual table.

I zoned off then, thinking about the various things that had occurred as of late. Edward's departure, the zombie phase, Jacob coming into my life and then being ripped from it when the word imprint entered his vocabulary, my recent bouts of crying and laughing and crying again. And Paul.

I thought of him, and wasn't sure why I was feeling so desolate without his presence beside me. It seemed silly that I wanted him to be here. Maybe I had an attachment problem of some sort. It certainly would explain a few things.

I was staring off into space, forcing my mind to be a blank slate - chillingly like I had done during those first few months post-Edward - when I heard it.

"Looks like Bella has gone all emo-mode again," the snide, nasally voice of Lauren stage-whispered to Jessica, who in turn snickered with a hand covering her mouth, reminding me of one of those snooty celebrities whose only claim to fame was a sex tape.

Somehow, I wanted to say something back. I wasn't sure why, but I felt the need - the absolute urge - to say something. For a split second before I spoke, I wondered why I was so…empowered lately. I didn't know why I felt so different, but after just a day the change was palpable. I might have matured just a little in that one day.

"My ears work perfectly fine, Lauren," I said, feeling my eyes narrow and my lips twitch into a smirk.

I didn't want to think of who I looked like in that moment.

I heard Angela's soft laugh beside me and turned to look at her. I hadn't even realized that she was there, but it was a welcome occurrence. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. It was a strange sensation, but one that wasn't unwelcome.

Oh, the funny things that can happen in the span of a day.

"Really? Has little Izzy-Bella developed a backbone? Have you finally gotten over your beloved Edward's departure? Is that what you've been doing with that La Push boy? Using him to _get past it_?" She sing-songed, "_Skank._"

And there it was, the moment that my confidence shattered. Obviously people like Lauren got their kicks from ragging on others and tearing them down and they were good at doing so. People like Lauren were as at home with verbal warfare as soldiers were with physical force. People like me just sat back and waited for the assault to be over, which - when involved with the soldier scenario - usually meant that we were killed.

I didn't want to be that person this time.

"Shut _up_, Lauren." Okay, so it wasn't the most eloquent, verbally arresting thing, but it was progress. A lot of progress, to be blunt. Usually, when confrontation would arise, I'd just ignore it and hope it'd go away. I felt no need for butting heads with people over unnecessary things. But here I was, engaging in tedious and meaningless insults with a girl that I wouldn't give water to if she was drowning…okay, maybe that last part was a bit extreme. "Don't tear down others just because you are unhappy with yourself."

I admit last bit sounded like something from a public service announcement.

My cliché phrase seemed incredibly funny to Lauren, who laughed in a high, shrill manner and slapped the table as if to be particularly threatening. "Unhappy with myself? You are the one that should be unhappy. _Two guys _have rejected you, sweetheart. Wonder what the problem there is."

"How do you - "

"I have a friend down in La Push. She tells all. Saw your Jacob looking pretty cozy with some model-looking chick."

I tried my best to ignore the twinge of discomfort that gave me, "I'm not sure if I should be insulted at you knowing or _shocked _at the fact that you have a friend."

There you go, Bella.

I heard Mike laughing, and that seemed to dispel the tension. At least Mike was good for that. I heard Lauren call me a bitch and watched as she turned back to her conversation with Jessica, all the while rubbing Tyler's leg.

I didn't realize my hands were shaking until after the altercation had occurred. I wasn't even sure why. I knew I wasn't accustomed to confrontation, but this was ridiculous. I supposed people like me couldn't trade verbal barbs with people who actually meant what they were saying. Sure, I had said some mean things to Paul, but this seemed completely different. While Paul had been trying to get me out of a funk when he said all the cruel things, he was never malicious - except when he was calling Edward a bloodsucker.

There it goes, my heart thudding in my chest at the mention of his name. When did everything get so complicated? It was like my heart was being torn in halves now. One side for Edward and one side for Jacob. The sudden thrill of emotion was jarring after the shallow conversation I'd just had.

I resolved to not listen at lunch more often.

Suddenly, I didn't want to be there. Everything was bringing back so many memories that were crashing into me all at once. I picked up my tray of untouched food and rose from my seat, leaving them to their own problems. I had enough of my own that I didn't need to get involved with a long-term feud with Lauren, someone who I couldn't possibly care less about.

I was just pushing open the door that led out of the cafeteria when a small hand held it open for me. I turned around and saw that Angela was behind me, smiling kindly as she always did. Somehow, it touched me that she was there.

"Good job back there, Bella."

I snorted, "Sure, sure."

_Jacob…_

I needed to get out of here before everything smashed the breath out of me again. I needed to leave the poisonous air of the cafeteria where, no doubt, Lauren was still spewing her garbage.

"Are you alright?"

I gave her a smile - I was getting rather good at that lately, "I'm fine."

She chuckled, "You must have practiced your lying skills."

I shrugged and moved outside, tugging my jacket closer around me. Angela shivered as the cool air rustled around us and I felt myself doing the same. Somehow, it felt nice to have a bit of company. I never really brought myself out of my little vampiric world to notice that I had good, human friends around me - and some not-so human ones, but I figured that I would never have a fully normal life now.

I turned to Angela and said, "Are you busy this afternoon?"

She blinked a few times, looking taken aback, before saying, "No. Not at all. I…haven't really been much use since Ben and I broke up…"

The broken tone to her voice was heart aching. It reminded me too much of myself. I also felt a twinge of guilt at the fact that I hadn't even been paying attention to notice that she and Ben had broken up. I inhaled deeply before saying, "Wanna come over?"

"You're not too busy?" she asked, the picture of selflessness.

I gave her a light smile, "Nope."

There, that should make Paul think I'm taking this whole _be happy_ thing seriously.

Wait…what?

Now that was simply weird. Wanting to convince Paul that I was taking things seriously. I wasn't sure what had gotten into me today. Was it something that I'd put in my eggs this morning? Did Paul slip some kind of drug in my drink? I had already stood up to Lauren - albeit rather timidly, still - and now I was inviting Angela over.

This was just damn odd. Completely out of character for little Bella Swan. Especially as of late.

I realized slightly that it would be of help to have someone over, to keep my mind off of things. Maybe to even talk about with the whole Jake thing. Not that I would. I wanted to keep my pathetic love life to myself. It was already confusing enough without having to explain to everyone about the fact that I was the only one losing in a triangle involving a werewolf and a vampire.

Angela and I chatted a little bit before the bell for next class rang. We set up a time - later today - to have a little study session of sorts. Somehow, I felt glad for that. If there was anyone at Forks High that I didn't mind spending time with, it was Angela. I gave her a little wave before walking to my next class.

Funny, how the few classes after lunch seemed to speed by. I wasn't sure why it happened, but I was grateful. Maybe it was a product of the leftover adrenaline from the confrontation with Lauren. I wasn't sure I cared. I was just glad that it was almost over and I could retreat to the safety of my home.

Safety? I felt a chill as I remembered that it wasn't safe at all.

I was, to put it simply, an idiot. Paul had sensed Victoria in our backyard and I was thinking that my house was _safe_?

I shook my head, twirling my pencil, waiting for my last class of the day to get out. It was torture. Even though I couldn't really do anything about it, I wanted to get home and make sure Charlie was safe. I knew that if Victoria was there, then I couldn't do anything unless I had backup. The feeling of helplessness was suffocating.

I jumped when the bell rang, and then without further thought, I made my way to the door. I was walking more briskly than usual, which was odd. I knew the reason for my sudden desperation. Strange how I wasn't worried at all this morning after I left my house.

Suddenly, the image of Paul standing in the doorway flashed through my mind.

Was it because of him?

I shook my head as I neared my truck. After a few seconds of bumbling around, I finally unlocked my truck and climbed in. I was in the process of cranking the truck when I felt it. A strange, eerie presence, seeping over me like icy water.

I felt that presence once before.

Was I paranoid? I doubted it. This was completely stupid. Why had I been preoccupied with showing up Lauren and inviting Angela over when I wasn't safe at all? And inviting Angela over was possibly the stupidest thing I'd done in a while. My house _wasn't safe_. I pounded the steering wheel with my shaking fist.

I took a few shaky breaths, one after the other, trying to calm myself to no avail. I put the truck in drive and tried to edge slowly out of the driveway. I ran a hand through my hair as I did so, keeping my truck going slow and steady even though my hands were trembling.

I wasn't sure what to do. There was no place I could go, really, that Victoria couldn't touch.

_La Push._

The location came out of nowhere, as if someone had whispered it in my ear. But no, I couldn't go there. I had to go home and wait for my dad. What if I didn't come home and Victoria was there waiting for him? Despite the wolves' confidence in themselves, I was still worried about what would happen if somehow she slipped through the cracks.

So I pushed on to my house, instead of bypassing it to go to La Push. I saw the familiar landscape of my home and felt relief. I parked my truck and jumped out, making my way to the door.

There wasn't anything I could do now. If Victoria had followed me home, I knew that it was over. Maybe the wolves would be there, maybe something would save me this time. I shook my head. There were only so many times that that would be possible before I was in her clutches, I knew.

"Swan."

I jumped, the key to the house in one hand, at the voice. I wasn't expecting the husky tones at all, but at the same time - as soon as my mind processed who the speaker was - I felt relief. I turned and found the edge from my anxiety softening as I looked upon Paul, who was staring at me with blank eyes. His lips twitched upward in a mockery of a greeting.

"P-Paul…hi."

Paul stepped forward and took the key from my hand, which was shaking so badly now that it had been scraping helplessly against the lock. Swiftly, he unlocked the door and moved aside for me to enter. I did, wordlessly, and found myself inside the empty house, with no vampire in sight.

I heard the door shut behind me and turned around, seeing that Paul had let himself in. He was staring off, to a spot above my head. It wasn't hard to do, seeing as how much taller he was than me.

"Erm…how was your - "

"Shut up," Paul said softly, looking around. I winced, feeling the slight edge of his words despite their muted tone. I watched as he seemed to sniff the air. A few moments passed and he relaxed, "Okay."

I crossed my arms, "What?"

"I guess you didn't feel it." His tone was sharp.

"I…thought…there might be someone at school."

"Someone?"

"Victoria…"

Paul snorted and moved to lock the door. I almost laughed at how unnecessary that was. If Victoria wanted me, no locked door was going to keep her away.

"Yeah," he said. "She was around your school all day."

I tensed, feeling the tremors start to take hold of my whole body. My breaths became shakier and shakier, as if it took the maximum amount of strength within myself to even draw in oxygen.

"Hey now," he said, taking hold of my shoulder in his large, warm hand. The touch was unexpected, but not unwelcome. I still flinched at the contact, though, not used to being touched by anyone other than Jake or…or Edward. "I was around your school all day today. Both Embry and I."

"Why…why was she…"

"Trying to pick out your schedule, I guess," he said, shrugging. "I followed you home while Embry went back to Sam. I suppose she's trying to find an opening when you're alone."

A chill went through me at his words.

"What…about Charlie?"

"We've got Quil and Jared looking after him as well."

I sighed, feeling relief wash over me.

"We're going to have at least two people guard you at all times. One phased, one not." Paul ran a hand through his hair. "Any preferences?"

"You don't have to protect me," I said feebly.

"Ah, don't give me that martyr bullshit," Paul drawled. "Geez. We're protecting you, so no objections."

I glared at him.

"I think I'll be one of the assigned ones to you, actually," Paul said, his eyes full of wry intent. "It'll be fun torturing you."

"You sound like Victoria."

Paul ignored me, "Plan is, one of us stays in the house while you're here. The other patrols the woods."

"Please tell me it's Embry staying in here."

Paul grinned, "You know I couldn't let you off that easily."

"What if Charlie - "

"Gets suspicious? He won't."

"And Jake?"

"He's fine. I doubt you'd want him in your room anyway."

I paused, thinking if I should yell at him or not, and then sighed. I knew he was right. I wasn't sure if I wanted Jake in my room every day, which would remind me of the imprint and of his Leah. Ugh. The whole thing was a lose-lose situation. "Fine," I said. "Whatever."

"Awesome." Paul grinned.

"You don't seem too perturbed by this plan." I looked at Paul. Though his mouth was set in a grin, his eyes were grave looking.

"Eh, it'll be fun to annoy you. I can be quite the asshole sometimes."

"_All _the time."

Paul's grin became more pronounced, "See what I mean?"

"I wish I knew how you could be so carefree at a time like this."

The grin on his face lessened then, and his eyes were darker than I'd ever seen them. Somehow, it frightened me. But not in the way that Victoria did. It was in a different, more primal way. He leaned down and, as though it caused him great physical pain to admit this, said words that sent chills down my spine.

"Now, who _ever _said I was carefree, Swan?"

* * *

_**End.**_


	8. Visitation

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate all of them. It's nice to know readers are still reading and liking this fic after such a long hiatus. I really will try to get this finished. I have a lot of inspiration and a general idea of where it is to go. Hopefully y'all will stick with me on this crazy PaulBella ride! Thanks so much for your support! Here is the next chapter! _

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Eight: Visitation**

* * *

I never thought things could get any worse.

Now they had.

I sat in the kitchen, tapping my foot as I watched the clock tick away. It was only minutes after the chill-inducing conversation I'd had with Paul, and I was awaiting Angela's arrival for whatever it was that we were doing. I sighed as I leaned my head on the table, feeling completely and utterly useless. Now I had two bodyguards on me just because of some stupid, red haired vampire with a grudge.

I admit, I was aggravated.

As much as I wanted to retreat into my shell and get away from it all, I knew that I couldn't. The pack was just doing what they could to help me. It just so happened that Paul was an integral part of keeping me safe. And I knew, no matter how much I wanted to reject the notion, that just his presence made me feel safer. It was silly and stupid of me, but at least someone was looking out for me, no matter how much I hated it. I hated knowing that I was the one putting them in danger, that I was the one that was causing them this.

"You really don't have to do this," I said, almost pleading.

Paul was leaning back on the back to legs of his chair, his feet propped up on the table. His hands were behind his head and I wondered how in the world he kept his balance like that. I shook my head. He was a werewolf, after all. "Do what? Does this bother you?"

"More than you know."

"Why?"

"Everyone's putting themselves in danger because of me. Someone might get hurt - "

"Our job is to dispose of bloodsuckers that endanger Forks," Paul said, his words clipped and measured. "Not everything is about you, even though you have a good deal to do with this. If we get hurt, it's because of our own stupidity, not you."

His crass words somehow reassured me, even though I was sure it was a jab at me at the same time. I sighed and pressed my cheek harder against the table, wondering what Angela would think when she arrived, seeing that I had a huge guy from La Push sitting at the table with me. A guy that wasn't Jake.

"Who's coming over again?"

"Angela. My friend."

Paul snorted, "And here I thought you didn't hang out with humans."

I lifted my head to look at him, seeing that he was staring at me with deeply disguised interest. I felt my lips twist into something approximating a smile. Most likely that smile looked a tad too self-loathing, "I suppose you're right, to an extent."

"You're human, you know."

I blinked, "I know."

"Just so you know, it isn't a crime to make _human _connections."

"Then what is this?" I asked wryly. "You're a werewolf."

"Call of the wild?"

It was my turn to snort a laugh. Paul took his feet off the kitchen table and let the chair hit the floor on all four of its legs. He walked out of the kitchen just as a knock resonated throughout the house. For a moment, I was intrigued at his senses. It was something that had always fascinated me about Edward, and even Jacob. How Jake could transform from someone that was equally as clumsy as me into someone that moved without even rustling the fallen leaves on the ground. I wondered idly if Paul had been like that, too. A clumsy human transformed into a graceful being by the power of his ancestors.

Somehow, when I looked at him, I doubted that Paul could have ever been as clumsy as myself.

The door was opened, and I heard Angela's exclamation of surprise. Paul chuckled throatily and let her in. I watched as Angela entered the kitchen, her face as red as a strawberry. She wrung her hands as if she were nervous. I saw Paul behind her, watched as he gave me a nod, and sprung out the door. Most likely he would be in my room soon enough, like he did earlier. I didn't even hear the door shut behind him.

I sighed.

"Hey, Angela," I said, giving her a smile. She returned the gesture and sloughed off her backpack, letting it fall to the floor before she took a seat across from me.

Her cheeks had yet to turn back to their normal, pale shade, and she managed to get out, "Who…who was that?"

I rolled my eyes, thinking of how pleased Paul would be if he knew how flustered he made Angela. "Paul. He's…a friend."

"Why doesn't he have a shirt on?"

"Oh…" I murmured. I hadn't even noticed that he was shirtless, "Er, I really don't know." Now it was my turn to look like a tomato. "I think he's just hot-blooded."

"I'll say," Angela said, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder.

I found myself laughing at her insinuation.

This kept on for a while. It was nice, hanging out with people who struggled with normal teenage problems and not a vampire hell-bent on revenge or a shattering heart as the result of a love triangle gone bad. I smiled and laughed at the appropriate portions of whatever story she told me. She ended up confiding in me that Ben and her broke up over a matter of trust. Apparently, he was uneasy with her around other guys and she couldn't take it anymore.

Somehow, I understood how she felt.

"I didn't want to," she said. "I really loved him, but…well, when things don't work out, they just don't work out."

I smiled gently at her. I could recognize by the way she talked that she had been wanting to get this out for a while. I knew the pressure of having a damaged heart with no one to listen. I knew what it was like to not want to bring it up at all. I still didn't want to talk about Edward with anyone, but at least I could think his name now without the ragged hole ripping even further.

And somehow Jake had gotten into my life, wormed his way there, and stayed. Boring his own hole into my chest, like Edward had done so masterfully before.

But, unlike Angela, I couldn't talk about my predicament with her. I couldn't talk to anyone, really. No one knew about Edward's secret - or the wolves, other than the pack themselves - so I was really in a spot of bother. But it was okay, I assured myself, I have been in that spot for as long as I can remember. Ever since Edward left me in the woods. I've survived. Somehow, I felt a bit stronger because of that, though the bouts of weakness still hit me like a truck. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, thinking back to that very moment when my life turned upside down. Thinking of Edward's eyes, and the way that he had tensed up beside me in Biology class. Thinking of seeing his marble skin, sparkling in the sunlight, for the first time. The hole in my chest gave a lurch, and I clenched the front of my shirt as if to keep myself together.

After all those months as a zombie, I realized that I had an issue now controlling what I thought. Jake had opened something up within me, and it was going to be harder closing it now than when it was just Edward I was mooning over.

Too late, I realized Angela was addressing me, "What?" I croaked out.

"Are you alright?"

I shook my head and gave a shaky little laugh, "Yeah, yeah, of course."

Angela gave me a smile and asked if I could help her with her English homework, which I obliged to. I believe this was one of the parameters for our hanging out this afternoon anyway, so I took her homework and started to help her conjugate verbs and all the other things that usually came with this until I heard a knock at the door.

I looked up from the work and then told Angela to wait a second. I got up and walked to the door. For a moment I wondered who it could be. If it was Victoria, she wouldn't have even knocked. I couldn't think of anyone else who would want to visit, actually. I opened the door and came face to face with Leah.

"Sup," she said casually, flipping some of her hair over her shoulder. The weather around here usually made my hair wave out of control, but hers was as pin straight as ever and as glossy as the models on television.

The images of the last time I saw her flashed through my head. The loving looks exchanged between her and Jacob, the way they kissed without any regard to me or Paul. Then Paul's face, indignant and angry, flashed through my mind.

"Hey." I said bluntly, not wanting to bother with pleasantries. I wasn't sure why she was here, but I was sure it wasn't about anything good.

Leah's gaze then moved over the top of my head. A wry smile came across her features, "I see Paul is taking his new job very seriously."

I knitted my brows together before turning around, seeing the tall, strong form of Paul standing at the top of the stairs, a foreboding and odd look on his features. His hands were down by his sides, and very faintly I could see them shake.

"I wouldn't give him too much leverage, though," she said sneakily. "He's bound to invade your privacy sooner or later."

She was acting far too light for me. Like she didn't even consider what she did wrong. I felt my temper start to flare. "Listen - "

Leah put up her hands in front of her, "Hey, hey, now. No need to go all bitch mode on me. Paul did plenty of that yesterday."

"I have every right - "

"I came to apologize, girl."

I stopped short. Okay, this was not what I was expecting.

"What?"

"You deaf, too?" she questioned, but by the joking glint in her eyes I figured she wasn't serious. "It was a shitty thing of me to do. Of us to do. To you. You know…all that. Paul was right, as infuriating as it is to say those words. I was a bitch, and I hope you can forgive me. Us. You know."

I stood there, "Where's Jake, anyway?"

"He's been out patrolling since you and Paul left. Hasn't had a break since. If that wasn't the case, I'd assume he'd have been her earlier with roses or some shit."

"I hate roses."

Leah snickered, "Me too."

Even though yesterday was a low for me, I couldn't help but think it was very considerate of Leah to come by and apologize when she really didn't have to.

"Thanks…for coming over. Um," I held out my hand, "no hard feelings."

"Yeah. Good." Leah smiled and took my hand.

I turned around to see if Paul was still at the top of the stairs. He was gone, but there was a slight sense of security that filtered through me in the fact that I had been right - he had gone up to my room to wait it out, to see that Victoria didn't sneak up there when I wasn't in there. Somewhere, around the woods, I knew that Embry was out there, making the rounds near my house.

"Do you want to come in?"

Leah shrugged, "Don't have nothing else to do."

"Well, thanks…"

Leah snickered and made her way inside the house. I turned back into the kitchen and told Angela, "Sorry, looks like we're going to have another guest."

I turned around, expecting to see Leah sitting on the couch, but instead saw that she was right behind me, almost towering over me with her model-like height. I jumped, startled at her sudden proximity. I hadn't even heard her move.

"This is Leah Clearwater," I introduced, "And Leah, this is Angela Weber."

"Nice to meet you," Angela said politely, giving a slight wave. Where I would have been awkward beyond belief, Angela screamed poise and eloquence.

"Same to ya," Leah said before moving to sit down at the table.

I sat down between both Leah and Angela and went back to Angela's English work. It was odd, sitting here with a bunch of people that I ordinarily wouldn't have hung out with. It was odd, yet…comforting. Comforting to know that I had people who cared - even if they did it in their own unorthodox way.

I saw that Leah had adopted Paul's position from before, leaning back in the chair so that it was supported on two legs, her feet propped on the kitchen table. Her hands were in her pockets, though, and I wondered how in the world those Quileutes managed to do something like that. Must be an inherited thing.

There was a lot of talking now. Where Angela and I had been comfortable with our silence and occasional talk about Mike or Jess or anyone, Leah loved conversation and most of it included words that would make Paul blush. I could see why Paul was in love with her. In many ways, they were alike. But they were also different, I'm sure. What their relationship would have been wasn't something I wanted to dwell on. It was just too sad. Leah was an interesting addition to our little study group, I'll admit.

After a while, I looked up to see that it was time for Charlie to get home. I told Angela that I had to get started on dinner and rose from the table, getting things ready.

Angela rose from her own seat shortly afterward and said, "Well, I guess I'll be getting home, then."

"Yeah, me too," Leah said, rising and cracking her back.

"Oh," I said, looking at the two girls standing around the table. "Okay, then. Well, it was nice hanging out."

"We'll have to do this again sometime." Angela offered as she gathered her things up.

"Hell yeah," Leah said. "I hang around too many guys lately."

"I know the feeling." I said, smiling, and yet fighting the pang in my heart from her insinuation, knowing that Jacob was the one that she was spending the most of her time with. The one that probably shared warm grape sodas with her in the garage now, instead of me. Ugh, feeling this way was the worst. It was like being attacked on all sides - Edward, Jacob, Edward, Jacob. No remorse from any corner.

_I'm an idiot._

Leah and Angela left at about the same time, leaving me to fix Charlie's food by myself. Not that I would've asked for their help. I sighed and started to make the beginnings of spaghetti. Not hard to do, which was what I was looking for. I sighed as I stirred the sauce. Pausing to roll my sleeves up, I heard a voice call to me.

"Better pay attention. Wouldn't want a repeat of last night."

I jolted, not expecting to hear that voice, so familiar now to my ears, call out to me.

"Shut it, Paul."

A smug sense of satisfaction came over me for mouthing off to him. I didn't even know why. There was something different in my jawing with Paul than the petty fights with Lauren. Maybe because it was somewhat fun to have a verbal sparring match with Paul - even though I ended up the loser more often than not, I realized.

Clapping reached my ears as I started to stir the sauce again. "Brava, little Swan. Great comeback."

It might be fun, but he was _so infuriating_.

I wondered if the fact that I enjoyed fighting with Paul was related to my zombie days. Feeling irritated at Paul was much better than feeling nothing at all, I realized. It would help ease my father's mind, knowing that he was probably thinking about me relapsing back into just going through the motions because of Jacob this time, and not Edward. It was almost like when Jake had helped me for that short amount of time before he imprinted. He was like a personal sun, one that I could always go to for comfort. And now I had lost that forever. I had nothing except the smartass that stood near me, grinning down at me like the wolf he was, waiting for me to give him something to criticize me about.

"I'm guessing we'll be graced with your presence for supper tonight as well," I said, injecting as much sarcasm as I could into that sentence.

"Guy's gotta eat. Besides, I haven't been _stunned speechless _by your cooking yet."

"Not my fault."

"Yeah, actually, it was."

I turned to glare at him, but he was smiling away. The smug bastard. I gave him the stoniest glare I could manage and then turned back to my spaghetti. I didn't hear him move around, but I saw that he was loping to the kitchen table to sit down. There wasn't even the faintest sound of the chair scraping against the wood floor to give him away.

"Do all Quileutes have stealth like that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Like…both Jake and Leah…you, too, move and it's like…I can't even hear anything. Your footsteps aren't even audible…"

"It's a wolf thing, I guess." I could practically hear Paul's shrug.

"Leah isn't a wolf."

"Not everyone is a complete spaz like you, Swan."

I turned around at the tone of his voice. Still stirring the sauce, I looked at him, studying the contours of his face. His eyes were set deep in thought, wondering at what I'd just said. Even the tone of his voice as he'd spoke before seemed to be far away, thinking about the words that I'd spoken without any thought as to what they might mean. I thought it was a meaningless connection, but obviously Paul thought differently.

"Everything okay?"

"Just make your spaghetti and stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying."

"That's not what your eyes say," Paul said, giving me a chill. He rose from the table and moved to the living room, but not before sticking a finger in the spaghetti sauce and having a taste. "More salt."

"You just have an uneducated palate."

"Better than being uneducated in everything."

"You shouldn't talk about yourself like that."

"Aw, nice to see that little Isabella's insults have at least reached second grade level."

"It's on par with your brain level, then."

Paul was grinning toothily, looking down at me like I was an interesting little kid he liked to pick on. I could still see that there was something else bothering him, a strange kind of darkness playing in the back of his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but thought better of it, and then moved to the living room. "Yell in case anything catches on fire. Then I'll know to get the hell outta here."

"Doesn't your dog nose compensate for that?"

I could still hear Paul's laughter from the living room. The only indication that I had that he had sat down was the television blaring.

Somehow, everything suddenly felt more right than anything else I'd experienced in the past few months.

* * *

_**End.**_


	9. Dreamwalker

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for your reviews! I really am glad that all of you like this fic, and are still keeping up with it. Like I've said, I'm going to try my hardest to finish this fic. Push through all the writer's block and disinterest in the fandom that might come my way. Anyway, I'd love to hear your reviews on this! It'd mean a lot! _

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Nine: Dreamwalker**

* * *

I completely took Paul off guard.

I could see that he wanted to critique my spaghetti all he wanted, but he couldn't find any fault with it. I felt cocky, arrogant, about the whole thing, despite "modest" being my default setting. I grinned at him over my own spaghetti, smirking like I had just won a million dollars. I had to say, it was the best I'd felt in a while.

"You two have a bet or something?" Charlie asked, wiping the sauce from his moustache.

"Paul just didn't believe I could cook."

I saw Paul purse his lips, "I know you could cook. I just didn't know if you could cook _well_. Two different things."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust at him, while Charlie hollered with laughter. I could tell that he liked Paul, which was surprising. Well, maybe it wasn't so much. I knew he knew practically everyone down at the rez on a friendly level. I guess I was just kind of pleasantly surprised that he was taking to someone whose name wasn't Jacob Black.

Dinner passed without much fault, except from the occasional shot thrown at me by Paul. Charlie seemed completely interested in this, which never ceased to amaze me. I threw back as much as I could, trying to make it seem like I could take care of myself - I was sure that surprised Charlie as well.

Charlie didn't seem to be concerned about Paul eating with us for the second night straight. I wasn't sure how I'd explain to Charlie that Paul was just my bodyguard from all things vampiric. And that there was another werewolf out in the woods guarding the outside. And that there were two on Charlie at all times. Yeah, that wouldn't be the best conversation to have. If I thought I was close to being sent to the nuthouse in my zombie stage, I would certainly be sent there if I shared all of that with my father.

Paul left later on, but I knew that he would be in my room in a matter of seconds. Strange, how the sense of nostalgia now crept up on me. It was so similar to what Edward used to do that it almost caused me to choke up. I told Charlie I had a long day and wanted to go to sleep. I wasn't sure if I wanted to, really, go up to my room. This would be the first night of Paul's "watch." If I could even call it that. I wasn't sure that I could even go to sleep. Most likely Paul would keep me up all night by berating me.

Still, I made my way up the stairs and to my room. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad. I hoped not. I hadn't been faced with the horror of the dream about Edward as of late. My dreams had been a peaceful blackness, which was somehow more frightening. I clenched my arms around myself as I made my way up the stairs.

I opened the door to my room to find Paul sitting in the old rocking chair near the window. My heart clenched for the being that used to sit in that exact spot.

"Sup," Paul said. Immediately I had a flashback of Leah, standing in the doorway, completely nonchalant.

"Going to bed," I told him before moving to smash myself into the comforter.

"In that?" He pointed cheekily to my jeans and sweater.

"Er…no…"

"Then change."

I felt my face flush. "Fine."

I moved to grab clean pajamas and the like before heading to the bathroom. I vaguely heard Paul's chuckle as I shut the door behind me.

I changed as quickly as I could, moving out of my old clothes with a speed that I didn't know I possessed. I tripped over the hem of my pants more than once, got tangled within the fabric of my sweater. I changed into my pair of raggedy sweatpants and baggy t-shirt, brushed my teeth, and then headed back into the fray. To say I wasn't nervous about this was an understatement. Sure, I was used to having Edward in my room, but Edward was…_Edward_. My heart clenched at his name as I shut the door behind me.

"Nice," Paul said sarcastically, looking at my pajamas.

"Thanks," I bit out, moving over to pull back the covers on my bed before crawling beneath them.

"No sarcastic response? I had been looking forward to a good row before having to watch you snore all night."

"Row?" I quirked a brow skeptically, "Really?"

"Vocabulary is important," he replied cheekily.

"Coming from someone whose favorite word is fuck," I said.

Paul looked taken aback for a moment, possibly by my use of the word. Yeah, I wouldn't have expected it either, but like I said before, sometimes you just have to say that certain word and get it over with. He quickly gathered himself and said, "Now, you don't know _that _much about me."

"I can guess as much."

"Not as predictable as you seem, Swan," he replied stonily, looking at me like I was some new being to him.

I rolled my eyes and sank further into my bed, turning my back to him. I didn't really feel like looking at him, a constant reminder of what my life had become. Chased by vampires. Forced to rely on some random werewolf I felt a certain kinship to just because of our similar circumstances.

"You talk in your sleep?"

I stiffened at the question, but said, "Yeah."

"You look like the type," Paul prodded. There was none of his usual snarky tone to his words, just general interest. Dull, even. "Keep everything bottled up while you're awake, only to let it out while you're asleep."

"That makes no sense."

"Eh," was his only response. There was some renewed wit there, though I couldn't be bothered to care. Somehow, the day had taken a lot out of me. Maybe it was my new demeanor that was taking a toll on my senses. The day with Angela and Leah had been fun, sure, but that required me keeping up a front that I really didn't feel. The whole thing was ridiculous.

"It's tiring when the walls come down, huh?"

I flipped over finally and looked to Paul. He was staring out the large window, a content expression on his face, his dark brows relaxed but his eyes looked like they were thinking of something very important. Most likely about Leah and seeing her so suddenly. I could sympathize with him. Didn't mean I had to _like_ him, exactly.

"Walls?" I scoffed. "What do you know?"

Paul didn't answer, as if thinking that answering me would be doing just that - breaking down some invisible wall he had built around himself. I sighed and curled up into a ball underneath the covers of my bed, wanting nothing more than to be able to sleep and have no dreams. Hopefully the whole Jacob-thing hadn't awoken the dreams of Edward that I tried so hard to avoid.

"Get some sleep," Paul said. "You'll need it."

I wasn't sure exactly what I would need it for, other than school, but my eyelids were growing heavy and I didn't want to protest.

I fell asleep quickly, my last image being the figure of Paul, the only hope I had against the vampire who craved my death.

* * *

My dreams that night were odd, to say the least.

I dreamt of running. Searching. The endless, fruitless search that frightened me. Always looking for Edward. Except this time, I found myself shouting two names. Both of the men that had chosen different paths. The paths that didn't involve me.

I was searching for them at first, but then something within the dream changed.

Peace drifted in the dream, almost like a light fog. It settled over me, weaving its way into my bones, flowing through my blood. I felt my clumsy walk become a graceful run, jumping over fallen branches and ducking under overhanging limbs. There was something different about the mood of the dream. No longer searching…almost like I was running for recreation. Even in the dream I felt a manic grin spread over my face, like my dream-self was incredulous to the change that occurred.

I was a lithe being, unconcerned by my human clumsiness. It wasn't until I had gotten over the shock of the carefree sense of my dream that I realized that I wasn't alone.

A wolf, just a regular old wolf, was running beside me. It wasn't like the enormous forms of the Quileute werewolves, just a small, dog-like being. The wolf even behaved like a dog itself. The gray coat of the wolf was shiny and long, its eyes a brilliant amber in color.

The whole dream made no sense whatsoever.

However, I did wake up that morning feeling the odd sense of peace that permeated the dream had drifted over to my reality.

I was calmer, felt more refreshed. It was an odd feeling, being as I usually felt like death on two legs.

"Do you always wake up at six in the morning?" Paul asked, looking at me from his perch. He was still in the chair, though his long legs were thrown over one of the arms, his head laying on a pillow he had stolen from somewhere in the house.

"You look awfully comfortable for someone that is supposed to be on guard."

Paul shrugged, "I have been up all night. Don't give me a lecture."

"Not lecturing," I told him as I rose from the bed. I realized belatedly that my shirt had rode up in the night, exposing my stomach. I flushed and pulled it down, hoping that Paul hadn't seen. I frantically looked over there to find that he was staring up at the ceiling, swaying his feet back and forth. His legs were so long that even draped over the arm of the chair, his toes still scraped the floor.

"Sounds like it."

I sighed and rose from my bed.

"You should go back to sleep," he told me, looking at me through the corner of his eye.

"I…don't think I can," I told him honestly.

"Because of the wolves?"

I tensed, "What?"

Paul finally turned his attention away from the ceiling and looked me straight in the eyes. A slow, taunting smirk crossed his lips, "The wolves. Apparently you were dreaming about them. Heard the name of your bloodsucker and Jake a couple times, too."

I felt myself blush to the roots of my hair, "Erm…"

Paul shrugged, "It's fine. You talk in your sleep. It's kinda funny."

"Funny?"

"You know, humorous."

"I know what the word means, Paul."

"Could've fooled me."

I glared at him, not sure what he was trying to get at. Maybe he was just trying to make idle conversation, but I wasn't sure. I just knew that I wanted to get as far away as I could as soon as I could. The whole thing was slightly uncomfortable. I was surprised I was able to get to sleep as easily as I did last night. I figured it would be harder to sleep with a strange guy in my room, but somehow I slept soundly and thoroughly. The whole thing somehow felt odd. Like I shouldn't be this comfortable around a man, but I supposed odd things happen when someone's life is like mine. I couldn't remember a time when my life _wasn't _odd, to be frank.

I thought abruptly of the times I spent with Edward here, curled up beside me. I felt normal then, too.

A shudder rippled down my spine and I turned and stood up, my bare feet coming in contact with the freezing wooden floorboards. Another shiver, due only to the climate this time, found me slightly trembling.

Paul looked at me, an interesting shade to his eyes. He stared at me for a good few seconds before flipping his ankles over the side of the chair, his own feet touching the floor.

"I'm taking a shower," I told him, moving to gather clean clothes.

"Nice to know," Paul said sarcastically before walking past me and down to the kitchen. He loped with a sort of easy grace, like the wolf he became on a regular basis. I stood and watched as he descended the stairs before gathering some clean clothes and towel and heading to the bathroom.

The whole situation was completely bizarre. I wasn't sure whether to hope that Paul stayed or hoped that he decided to phase and turn to the woods. I wasn't sure whether I wanted him around me or not. My whole thoughts were a myriad of paradoxes, ones that I wanted desperately to sort out.

The hot water of the shower was a welcoming comfort, one that I relished. I wished desperately that I could stay underneath the scalding spray and just ignore all the problems in my life. Ignore the thoughts of Edward and Jacob. Ignore the constant, looming threat of Victoria. Ignore the strange way that I felt more myself around Paul than I had in a long, long time.

Everything was just so _messed up_.

I washed my hair, lathered my body with soap, rinsed everything off. I felt my stomach growl, and decided that I needed to at least fix something to eat before I headed off to school. I had been rather neglectful of eating when I was in my zombie phase, something that had carried on to now. I only realized how weak I would get when my head would swim, when my hands would shake. Only then would I give in to the urge to fill myself with food. Almost like I was punishing myself.

I couldn't tell anyone that, I knew. I would expect my father would be beside himself, expect Jake to be upset, expect Paul to…

Well, I didn't know what to expect of Paul.

I realized then, as I dried myself with the towel, that I hated being alone. There was a reason why I'd taken comfort with Jacob. He was a bright and sunny beacon, one that was always around. One that took the care to bring me out of my funk and make me need him in the process.

I sighed and dressed myself in the clothes I had brought with me - a simple cream colored sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans. I slipped socks on my feet and trudged down to the kitchen where Paul was waiting.

He was sitting in the same chair that he had occupied yesterday, leaning forward, his head pillowed on his forearms. It only took a minute of my careful observation to see that he was asleep.

Something jerked in my chest. It was a curious feeling, one that was so jarring that I almost jumped with the suddenness of it. I hadn't felt anything like that since…since…

An image of golden eyes flashed through my mind and I tried not to clutch my chest.

I watched him sleeping, thinking that he would awaken any time and chastise me for staring at him when he was so vulnerable. He didn't though, and I figured I should at least cook.

I made the same thing I made the last time we were in this situation. Scrambled eggs. I used as many as I could, emptying the entire carton. I scraped all the eggs onto a plate, stacking them as high as they could go. I then grabbed a sticky note and wrote a small note that said, "Eat up."

I stuck the note to the edge of the plate and then moved to the cabinet. I pulled out a pack of Pop-Tarts and grabbed my backpack from the floor by my shoes. I slipped them on my feet and opened the package, hearing it crinkle as I pulled out one of the breakfast items and shoved it in my mouth.

I heard a rustle in the kitchen, a faint chuckle of amusement.

There was a pause in which I closed the door more slowly behind me than I used to do, almost like I wanted to hear what else was going to happen. Then I heard Paul call out, "Thanks."

The door shut behind me, and I found that my cheeks were hurting due to the bright smile on my face.

* * *

_**End Chapter Nine.**_


	10. Eyes

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Here's the latest chapter! I am so glad that y'all enjoyed the last chapter.. It really is nice that everyone is enjoying reading this story, and I hope that y'all enjoy this chapter. So, without further ado, here's chapter ten!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Ten: Eyes**

* * *

I drove to school that day with a flurry of thoughts in my mind.

Why had I been so comfortable with Paul in the room? Why did his words always have the power to affect me? Why did I make him breakfast? And, more importantly, why did I feel that painfully familiar tugging in my chest when I saw him asleep?

The whole thing was enough to make a girl sick.

Despite the sick feeling that was threatening to overtake me, I found that I was still smiling as I pulled into the school parking lot. It was a strange feeling, being able to smile that much about something as simple as a friend.

Friend? I didn't know why that word rubbed me the wrong way.

Ally?

Comrade?

Protector?

None of them seemed to fit like I wanted them to, so I decided to leave what I had with Paul as ambiguous.

I got to school with time to spare, so I studied in my truck for about thirty minutes before I went in the school.

However, as soon as I stepped outside the truck, I felt something sinister.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over my head at that moment. The cool breeze wrapped around me, intensifying that very feeling of foreboding. I found myself shivering, even thought it was a rather nice day for Forks. There wasn't anything I could find that would help me through this. I could think of nothing.

I tried to wrack my brain for what it might be.

I thought back to what had happened yesterday, to the vague feelings of unease that I had frequently been subjected to. This was more intense than all the others. I couldn't even find it in me to move from the spot I stood in. I knew I shouldn't have been that worried, since Paul and Embry were supposed to be watching over me, but I couldn't help myself.

I was terrified.

No one else was in the parking lot. Victoria could attack me and no one would be the wiser.

A part of me wanted to cry out, to shout for someone, but I knew that would be foolish.

"Hey," a voice said from right behind me.

I opened my mouth, a shriek already forming at the base of my throat. Before I could scream, however, a large hand clamped down over my mouth. It was warm - no, _hot_. It was almost as if this hand was made of fire. It sent chills through my body, despite the sheer heat of the person. I hadn't realized I had squeezed my eyes shut until the voice told me to look at him, which I did.

Paul.

I couldn't accurately describe the relief that washed over me at the mere sight of the man. It was as if every muscle in my body had been tensed, ready to fight or run for my life because I thought Victoria was so close. Now that I saw that it was Paul, every part of me relaxed. I had gripped his wrist in reflex, and I dropped my hands. They were warm now, just from being in contact with the werewolf.

Paul looked at me, raising his eyebrows in an unspoken agreement. Even though he said nothing, I could almost hear his voice chiding, "No screaming, okay, Swan?"

I nodded and he dropped his hand from my mouth. I found that I was inhaling shaky, uneven breaths, and that my hands were trembling.

"P-Paul," I stammered, trying and failing to keep eye contact with him. I found the urge to throw my arms around his neck, which I deftly avoided. That would not be the best thing to do right now, not when I was pretty sure he disliked me.

"Sup," he casually stated. He shoved his hand in his pockets before scanning the woods around the school. "She's here. But you know that already."

I found myself nodding wearily.

"Embry is out in the woods with Sam, Jared, and Jacob. They're chasing her. We've got a good lock on her right now."

I interpreted the look on his face the best I could, "But you're not promising anything."

"Nah, I'm not," he replied. "But I can promise you one thing - that leech isn't getting near you while we're here."

I felt my face turn red at his words. They were intense, something that made a chill go down my spine, but for a completely different reason. I found that I had pulled my sleeves over my hands, a nervous habit of mine, and was worrying the frayed threads. "And Charlie?"

"Sam has a plan," Paul continued. "I'm not sure if you'll like it much, but we think it's a pretty good one."

I raised a brow at him, beckoning him to continue.

"We're going to try to get the two of you to stay in La Push as often as possible. Either at one of the wolves' houses or something like that, during the day. Just to be able to keep a better eye on you. Charlie loves to fish, so he and Billy can keep occupied that way. The bloodsucker can't come into La Push, you know. You'll still be able to sleep and everything at your house, and I'll still be there. This is just for extra protection, you see."

It started to drizzle, the water coming down in a fine mist. I shivered just a bit before saying, "Sounds good to me…I just don't want to be a burden. Passed on between houses…"

Paul snorted, as if that idea was completely ridiculous, "You are no burden."

"It just feels like - "

To my utter surprise, Paul took his index finger and pressed it to my forehead. Even with just the pinpoint of pressure against my skull, I could feel the intense heat coming from him. It was enough to make me want more of that touch, more of being around him. Not only that, but I wanted to know more about him…wanted to find out just what was behind him. I wasn't sure where those odd thoughts were coming from, but…but…

I really didn't know what to think anymore. Paul's contact with my skin was making my thoughts blurry.

"Shut up," he said, though his tone was slightly playful. "You are no burden. And if you think so, I might just not show up next time. Hell, I'll throw you to that bitch myself."

I winced at the harsh language, as well as the image he created. Somehow, being betrayed by him would be the worst thing I could think of. After everything I've gone through, he'd somehow stayed by my side, making me keep a level head, making me see sense when I'd gone too far into myself. I'd only really known him for a while, but it seemed like so much longer. I guessed near-death situations do that to a person.

He took his index finger and made a trail from my forehead, down the side of my face, ending up at my cheekbone. He let his thumb join in and wiped some rainwater from underneath my eye. A trail of fire followed his every touch. I found that my heart was racing, that my whole body had tensed up once again. Gone was the relief his presence brought, and in its place was a whole new, different, confusing beast.

Then, out of nowhere, he removed his hand completely and flicked my nose.

"Ow!" I shouted, the moment broken. I grabbed my nose and looked at him, insulted and surprisingly hurt. More than that, I felt a strange sense of disappointment. At what, I had no idea. Frankly, I didn't want to know.

Paul grinned down at me, watching with satisfaction as I rubbed my nose. No doubt it was turning an awful red color.

"You suck," I told him.

Paul shrugged before grinning in an impish way, "First time I haven't been the one saying _that _to a girl."

The blush that overtook my face then seemed to take less than a second. I stuttered and stumbled over my words, my brain trying to wrap around what he just said. I felt like I was going to explode at how embarrassed I was.

"Hey, I'm surprised you got that joke, little Swan," Paul took his knuckles and rapped them atop my wet hair. The action - and his hands touching me again - got me blushing even more.

"Shut up."

Instead of coming back with another comment, he shook his head, almost like he was disbelieving.

"You're so…_innocent_."

The way he said that wasn't…insulting. It was more of a incredulous statement. One that he didn't disagree with, but one that he was particularly interested by. He didn't look like he was going to comment on anything else, but he did look like he was maybe not as put out with me as he seemed on a daily basis.

"I'll be around," he told me. "So don't freeze up on a test or anything. I'll be patrolling the woods around the school, all day. I'll be here when you get out."

Those words were surprisingly earnest, ones that made my heart slightly jump. It was strange at how he could make me feel like that now, when I thought I could never have that jolt of the heart ever again…

"Thank you," I said.

"Just doing my job." He nodded at me before bounding off, faster than I'd seen anyone non-vampiric run. I watched as he melted into the fringe of the woods, and then heard the telltale howl, then nothing else.

I didn't know why, but something about his last comment made a feeling of sadness settle over me.

_Just doing his job, _I thought, a strange solemn feeling coming over me. _That's all I am._

* * *

The day passed by quickly. Faster than I'd ever expected it to. I found myself going through the motions, constantly looking over my shoulder in perverse expectation of Victoria being there, all flaming hair and blood-colored eyes, razor sharp teeth bared in a snarl.

Several times I'd jump when someone would touch my shoulder. It was foolish, because it was only Angela or Mike wanting to know if I was okay. I told them I was fine, each and every time. There wasn't anything that I could tell them, really, unless I wanted to put them in danger. Or have them think I was insane. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation.

I found myself driving home before I knew it. The creepy feeling of being watched had left me, but I couldn't help but stare around at the woods as I drove, half-expecting Victoria to suddenly shoot out of the woods and tip over my car. My fantasies never happened, thankfully. If they had, well…

I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

I parked the car in the driveway, somehow wishing that I wasn't alone right now. I'd be alone until Charlie got home.

Or that was what I thought.

Paul was sitting on the steps leading up to the door of my house. I got out of the car in slight shock, wondering vaguely what he was doing here. I approached him with caution, the words from earlier today ringing through my head.

_Just doing my job…my job…job…_

I couldn't rid those words from my head. It was like they were a particularly nasty disease, intent on making me completely and utterly miserable, like I had been before I had befriended Jake.

The thought of Jacob's smiling face somehow took me aback. I stopped in my tracks, thinking of his grin, ever-present and contagious, his laugh, his jokes… It all looped in my mind, confusing me even more.

Edward, Jacob, Edward, Jacob…

When did my life begin to revolve around men?

Paul was looking at me, his eyes seeming to stare straight through me, exposing everything I was thinking, leaving me vulnerable. I wanted nothing more than to hide myself from that gaze and the confusing things that it made me feel.

He rose from where he was sitting, obviously growing impatient at my slow pace. He walked up to me and heaved a large sigh. "Seriously? You're about as slow as - what's wrong?"

I looked up at him, cursing myself for not having been born with the ability to hide my emotions well. "I'm fine."

"Oh, shit, I thought we were past this whole _I'm fine_ nonsense."

I felt myself blush for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. I wasn't sure what to say to that. I looked for anything to say, anything that would make what was really bothering me not embarrassing, but I found nothing. Silence enveloped us.

Paul seemed to realize that I wasn't going to tell him what was bothering me, so he just got on with what he was here for, "La Push. Let's go."

I blinked several times, almost floored with the sudden declaration, "What?"

"Don't you remember anything we talked about this morning?"

_Just doing my job…_

"Of course," I lied.

"Liar," he said cheekily.

I rolled my eyes. "It's really annoying how you do that. Know everything."

"I don't know it all," Paul said, giving me a toothy grin that somehow made the hair on my neck stand on end. "You're just easy to read."

"By that logic, shouldn't you know what was bothering me?"

"Oh, let's not go into that _Lifetime _shit."

"I don't watch _Lifetime shit_," I mocked the last two words in a very bad approximation of his deep voice.

"Huh." Paul began to move to my car, an amused smirk on his face. "I suppose I don't know everything."

"Got that right," I mumbled.

"You know, I can still hear you when you mumble like that. It's not just bloodsuckers that have excellent hearing." Paul pointed to one of his ears with an all-knowing grin that made me want to smack him. He then started to chuckle and before I knew it, he had slung himself into the passenger's seat of my truck.

"Yes, Paul, hop right in." I rolled my eyes and walked over to the driver's side. I hefted myself into the cab and shut the door.

"Let's get this show on the road! Emily's making stew!" Paul smacked the dashboard twice in his haste. "C'mon, Bella, let's go!"

I froze for a moment, taking in the fact that he had called me by name and not by _Swan_. Sure, he'd called me by name before, but never so casually. It was always as if my name was an insult, a curse that he was too eager to let loose. But now, he said it as if we were friends. Maybe.

I supposed I was delusional.

I cranked the truck and pulled out of the driveway, all the while listening to Paul's complaints about how slow I was going, how Emily's stew would be cold by the time we got there, that the other wolves would have _eaten _the stew by the time we got there. It seemed I rolled my eyes more times during that car ride than I had in my entire life. It was almost comical, the way he was mocking mashing the gas pedal on his side of the car, with his large fingers loosely wrapped around the handle at the top of the doorframe.

I drove calmly down the road that led to La Push, finding that I actually was enjoying this ride up there, despite the doubts during the day. I found that I craved Paul's company, which was a bad thing. The very moment I decided I wanted something was the moment that it was taken away from me for good.

I decided I would never admit to myself that I enjoyed Paul's company. I couldn't. There was too much at risk. Paul had taken my crumpled, broken self and put me right, and somehow I hated imagining a time when he wasn't around, a time in which I would have to let him go, as well. I hated thinking of it like that, but that was what life had taught me. As soon as you had something you wanted, it was ripped away from you in a cruel twist of fate.

I didn't want that to happen again, especially not with this strange man that had somehow wormed his way into my life.

I glanced out the corner of my eye, only to find that Paul was watching me, his eyes in thought. As soon as he caught me looking at him, a smile came onto his face, "Eyes on the road. Chief Swan would _not _be impressed."

"Oh, shut up."

The bite with which I had intended to say those words fell short, leaving me grinning and feeling light-hearted. Another dangerous thing to experience in regards to my past.

Everything in the past few days had happened so suddenly, but there was one thing that I was completely certain of.

Paul, this man with the grins and the snark and the completely infuriating demeanor, was more important to me than I had originally realized.

* * *

_**End Chapter Ten.**_


	11. Shield

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much to the reviewers that gave me their input for the last chapter! I really appreciate it, y'all have no idea. I hope that this chapter is just as well-received, and I would love to hear your opinions about it and everything. Thanks so much for reading!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Eleven: Shield**

* * *

The ride to La Push seemed longer than usual.

I guess it was because of my previous revelations about Paul being…well, not as insignificant as I had originally imagined. I couldn't shake the sense of contentment that was seeping through my veins just because _he _was the one in the car next to me. It was almost like I had been blind for the longest time, mute to feelings - ones that Jacob had temporarily allowed me to feel again - and now everything was coming back full force.

Like I said before, it was a dangerous position to be in.

The closer you got to someone, I realized, the more they could hurt you. I had been foolish with Edward, assuming that he would always be there for me when in reality I was probably nothing more than a human plaything to him. Something that he would easily discard when he got bored. Which he had.

Something inside my head wanted to dispute that, but I felt no need to. Why deny something that was obviously true? Edward had gotten bored and no longer wanted…me. Just thinking the words was difficult, but I managed, not noticing that one of my hands had gripped my chest until Paul remarked, "Both hands on the wheel."

I was still a mess, if just thinking about that was enough to make me clench the hole in my chest.

I ignored his comment, turning on the drive that lead to Sam and Emily's little place. It was very quaint, and something that I was slightly looking forward to, if I was to be honest with myself. Emily was kind, as was Sam, and they were always people that I wouldn't be remiss to hang with.

I put the truck in park before hopping out of it. Paul was already out, stretching his arms above his head. I could see the muscles in his back as he did so, and it was enough to put a fresh flash of color in my cheeks.

He moved his head from side to side, fluidly, and I could barely hear the sharp cracks as his neck popped. He moved forward into the house, me trailing behind him.

He really was a giant. Not as tall as Jacob or Sam, but he still towered over me. He walked with an air of confidence that I instantly envied. The swaggering way he walked was graceful and purposeful, even as he moved to the front door. I figured that he would just open the door and go in, but when he stopped, the door held open for me to enter ahead of him, I paused in surprise.

Who would've known?

Paul looked at me with something akin to aggravation, as if he wished he could just curse at me and shove me in the door ahead of him. Even as I walked in the door, I thought I heard him mutter something like, "You try to do something nice for the little leech lover and she looks at you like you've sprouted an extra head."

I smiled despite myself.

"Bella!" Emily's hospitable voice called from the kitchen. It really had been too long since I'd seen her. Sam was at her side, looking at her like he always did - like she was the sun, and it was the first time seeing her. A bit of it made my heart ache, since I had known that once. Maybe twice, if I included Jacob, but I really didn't want to. The whole thing with Jacob seemed to be a fluke, something that only lasted long enough for him to find someone else. Someone more capable of loving him.

I twisted the bitterness out of my thoughts and forced a grin on my face, "Hi, Emily. Good to see you." Well, that was good at least. More words than I'd thought myself capable of.

She turned, in her hands a gigantic bowl full of potatoes that she was about to sit down at the table with. "Same here."

Paul put his large, hot hand on the small of my back and pushed me forward. For what reason, I had no idea. Sam looked at us with an interested expression, his eyes light and amused. I was about to put my hands up in protest at whatever he was thinking, when Paul said, "Yo, Sam. Up for some Playstation?"

Sam looked torn. He glanced from Paul to Emily before addressing the latter, "Are you sure you don't want any help?"

"I'm fine." Emily sat down and started peeling. "Bella, would you like to join me? You don't have to help, of course. I'd just like some girl company for once."

I felt as if I couldn't say no. If Paul and Sam were going to go have "boy time" or whatever the hell was going on with the Playstation, I figured that I could at least hang out with Emily. It would be nice, actually, to talk with someone else who was actually let in on the secret of the wolves.

I nodded and moved over to sit beside Emily, who smiled at me.

Vaguely, I heard the sounds of the two guys in the living room, bustling about, and then finally the sound of the Playstation being turned on. I rolled my eyes as I heard Paul explain, "Your ass is mine this time," and then laughed when I heard Sam reply with a mild, "Ew."

Emily was smiling to herself as she peeled potato after potato, going at a pace that was the product of practiced movements. I felt envious. Though I wasn't a bad cook, I wished I could be that efficient with things like this without nearly lopping off my finger.

"I see you and Paul are getting along."

The statement caught me off guard, and I looked up from staring at the bowl, where the potato peels were falling at a mind-boggling pace. "Er…define, _getting along_."

Emily looked up, but she kept peeling. By now, I'd have had to go get a bandage - or stitches - if I was in her shoes.

"He seems to have taken to you," Emily said, smiling.

"I'm not sure sarcastic comments and attacks on my ex-boyfriend are signs of friendship." I cringed as soon as I said _ex_, and Emily noticed, but didn't comment.

"Paul is difficult, but he's a good guy."

"Uh…yeah," I found myself stumbling over my words, no where nearly as graceful as Emily. "I guess so."

Emily looked at me, "Hm."

I had yet to decipher what exactly that meant, when Jake came bursting through the door, his face wild with a mixture of excitement and shock. Leah came in after, looking exasperated, her long hair tied into a low ponytail. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at her imprint before looking at me, "Hey, Bella."

I gave a sheepish smile. The feeling of inadequacy I got when looking at Leah was still present, even though we were good friends now. "Hey," I said before tempting a glance at Jacob. "What's up with him?"

Leah shrugged her thin shoulders, "Wouldn't tell me."

A moment later, Quil and Embry entered the room, their smiles equally as bright as Jake's. For a moment, I considered that they were on some kind of weird werewolf drug thing, but it immediately passed when I saw that Sam and Paul had moved in the kitchen as well. The small room had a sudden, crowded feel.

"What is all this?" Sam asked, his deep voice holding a certain timbre to it that just oozed _leader_.

Jacob grinned but not before turning to Quil and Embry with a look that told them to keep quiet. "I'll let Jared tell you."

I cocked my head to the side. I had never really spent time with Jared, but this seemed to be something huge. A good thing, by the look in each of their eyes. Paul and Sam had the same clueless look that no doubt was on my own face, as well as Leah and Emily's. I saw Paul's eyes briefly move to catch mine. The second I looked, they wheeled away and were focused on Jacob, and then the door behind him.

The door opened to reveal Jared, tall and lanky and lean-muscled, with a girl on his arm. He wasn't paying any attention to the gathering in front of him, but to the girl. She was pretty, and just a bit shorter than myself.

The telltale sign was the fact that he was looking at her like she was the sun, moon, and stars, all rolled up into one.

Jared had imprinted.

I felt sick, somehow. There was no reason to feel that way. I hardly knew Jared, so there was no reason for me to feel ill, but the way my stomach was churning. I hadn't realized I had stood up until I felt myself sway and have to grasp the edge of the table to keep from falling.

I looked up to see that Paul's eyes were on me, looking curious and - concerned? Why would he be concerned? He had no reason to be.

"Congratulations, brother," Sam stepped forward and patted Jared on the shoulder. The girl at his side seemed timid, almost shrinking away from the pack leader.

Sam's words, however, caught me off guard. Congratulations? Was that even a proper response? I noticed how no one even questioned what had happened. Jared came in looking all googly-eyed with a random girl that no one seemed to know and…that was all she wrote.

Jared grinned toothily at Sam, and I felt an urge to cry. That familiar smile was so like the one that Jacob had used to give me…until…

_Imprint. _The word crashed around violently in my thoughts, filled with more bitterness than I'd thought I was capable of at the time. I decided that this wasn't the time or place for one of my moods. None of this was about me, it was about Jared and his imprint. I decided to smile and offer my congratulations with the other guests in Emily's household.

The girl's name was Kim, and apparently, she confessed, had been crushing on Jared for the longest time. She blushed easily, and I was reminded of myself in her uncertain, stammering words. The whole thing had happened early this morning, with Jared seeing Kim at the gas station, filling up her car. It was a whirlwind type of thing, him asking her out and then taking her to the Elders, where it was explained just what kind of bond they had. Kim had, obviously, accepted. Why wouldn't she? The man of her dreams had finally noticed her.

I knew the feeling.

Leah and Emily greeted her. I felt a certain kind of jealously, almost like these imprints had a kind of bond as well. As sisters. One that I would never, personally, have.

Apparently, the delay in all of them knowing was that Jared had delayed phasing all day, up until a few minutes ago, since Kim was curious. Jacob, Quil, and Embry were all phased as well, so naturally they figured out what had happened through Jared's thoughts.

I was absorbed in the whole thing, probably due to some kind of lingering loathing I must have for myself.

It wasn't until someone asked, "Where's Paul?" that I realized he was no longer in the room.

Where could he have gone? Was there something wrong? I almost felt naked, exposed without him. What an odd feeling to have, that.

"He walked outside," Sam said, all-knowing. Everyone then continued to talk about Kim and how she was welcome here any time.

I walked to the door, saying I needed fresh air, when in reality I was looking for the very person that had just up and left without a trace. It seemed like everyone else could see through my transparent actions, but didn't say anything to stop me. I stumbled down the front steps, wrapping my arms around myself in the sudden cold.

I didn't have to look far.

To the left of the house and out a ways, stood Paul. Even from a distance, I could see that he was shimmering, shifting ever so slightly in place. His fists were clenched at his sides and the violent shudders made his form go in and out of focus, between wolf and man. I knew better than to approach him right away. After a few minutes, I saw him shake his head side to side, as if chastising himself, and then look my way. Immediately, he looked away, back to the direction he was facing before.

I decided to approach, then. I walked slowly, tripping on random sticks and things as I made my way over to him. I knew that this was risky, dangerous even. If Sam could slip up and do something to hurt the one he loved more than anything, then Paul go do so as well. I was sure he probably wouldn't have minded as much, all things considered.

"Paul," I ventured when I was close enough, though I knew he could have heard me from where I stood on Emily's porch. "Hey…"

"What do you want?"

"I was…checking up on you. I was kind of…" I bit my lip, uncertain as to whether I should say the word I wanted. In the end, I continued, "I was worried."

"Don't waste your worrying on me."

I saw that he wasn't going to share anything, wasn't going to give me any leeway into what must have been bothering him, so rather than start a fight, I turned and started away.

Before I could even get a step away from him, I heard him say, "It's like an _epidemic_."

I stopped and turned back around. I saw that he was still facing away from me, but his posture had relaxed. He was speaking freely now, not through clenched teeth, and for that I was shocked. I waited for him to continue.

"It's supposed to be a rare thing, you know," he said in a strangely calm voice. "It's not supposed to happen to _every_ wolf."

He turned at me, and there was true anguish on his features. "Sam, then Jake, and now Jared. Who's next, huh? This whole thing is so _fucking_ stupid. Unfair. Taking the willpower away from people, _forcing _them to love someone they would have never considered had they not been a wolf."

I looked at Paul, feeling the rage and despair flowing off his body. His hands started to tremble slightly, yet again. I stepped forward, unafraid of the phase. There was nothing that was going to separate me from him now. Not that I knew he was in just as much turmoil - maybe more - than I was.

"I'll grin and bear it," he ground out through gritted teeth. "I'll be _happy _for them. I just don't want it to happen to me."

His hands were outright shaking now, vibrating with the restrain the was taking from phasing. I stepped forward and, without thinking, put my hands over his. He inhaled a surprised gasp and looked at me, his eyes narrowing, teeth clenched together. The trembling in his hands stopped, as if he were trying his very best at controlling himself now that I was so close.

The heat of his hands seemed to seep into mine and spread throughout my body. It was…_nice_, I was begrudging to admit.

"It'll be fine, Paul," I told him, trying to pretend like I believed what I was saying. "You might not imprint. Hell, who knows? You might end up being one of those players with a new woman each night, those _old dogs_, as they're called. But in your case, it'd be literal."

I wasn't sure where my bravado was coming from - or the optimism of my words, for that matter. They seemed like foreign, alien things as they spewed from my mouth.

He gave me a smile, though. Maybe that was what I was looking for.

I hadn't realized I was still gripping his hands with all the force I could until he squeezed my fingers gently, chuckling in a sardonic manner.

"You say that, but when you put two-and-two together back in the kitchen, you almost fell over."

I blushed.

Paul laughed then, his normal, carefree laugh, one that was tinged with all the emotions of the moment. He then took his hands from mine and lightly brushed a finger over my cheekbone, light enough that I could have imagined it. I still wasn't sure. The moment lasted for a second, maybe less, and his hand was down by his side once more, free of the vibrations that preventing the phase caused.

"I…erm…didn't think you'd…"

"Noticed? Hard not to. You're easily the clumsiest in any room."

"Hey! Not everyone is like you - "

"_Obviously._"

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. The action was freeing, and it was something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

Paul chuckled along with me, but I could still see the trace of darkness edging his eyes. I sighed. I might have helped now, but it didn't mean the mood wouldn't come back later. It reminded me too much of my zombie days. Pretend like it didn't hurt now, but later it would hit me with more force than it would have before.

He suddenly looked alert, his eyes moving to the little house Emily and Sam shared. Even to my own normal, human nose, I could smell the delicious scent of stew pouring out of the windows.

Paul's stomach growled audibly; I laughed.

"Let's go eat, then." He grasped my wrist and started to tug me in the direction of the house.

The feel of his hand, wrapped so gently around my wrist that it might not even be there at all, was too nice, but I had to protest at least once.

"I know my way to the house, Paul."

He didn't reply.

And, selfishly, I didn't argue.

* * *

_**End Chapter Eleven.**_


	12. Fortuitous

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for the kind support! I really am glad that this fic is being received well. I hope that y'all enjoy this new chapter! I'm going to try my best to get this fic finished. It'll take a while, as I'm not sure how many chapters this fic will have, but I know in general what I want to happen at the end, so it's just a matter of the events in-between all that. Anyway, please enjoy!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Twelve: Fortuitous**

* * *

The intensity of the previous conversation with Paul was quickly sidelined by the absolutely _delicious_ stew Emily had prepared.

I admit, I was jealous.

The pot she cooked it in was big enough for me to comfortably sit in, and was positioned outside over an actual fire, none of the bells and whistles of a real kitchen anywhere. Composing the stew were potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, celery, tender chunks of meat, and a broth so aromatic and delicious that I fought the urge to lick my bowl clean.

Some of the La Push werewolves didn't fight that temptation at all.

Jacob still hadn't looked my way, hadn't even said two words to me. I should have felt insulted, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I loved him, I knew that much. But whether as a brother or as a prospective boyfriend, I wasn't sure. The latter would never happen, I knew, so I would just have to force myself to think of him as a brother. It would be a task, but I've accomplished harder things before and lived to tell the tail.

As if reminding me, the scar on my wrist seemed to burn brighter than the temperature of the fire in front of me.

I was glad that it was hidden by my sweater, glad that none of the people around the campfire could see it. No doubt it would be cast in a brilliant, shimmering, silver glow by the bright light in front of me. A telltale sign of a _vampire_ in the eyes of all of the ones in the know.

I hadn't noticed I was stroking my arm just above where the scar would be when I saw Paul staring at me curiously, "You hurt?"

I scoffed, "How could I be hurt? I haven't even _done_ anything here."

"Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised."

I rolled my eyes and walked over to the still-simmering pot of stew. I asked Emily if I could have seconds and she smiled, "Sure. I've got plenty."

I took the large spoon and ladled some steaming hot soup in my bowl, almost groaning at how good it smelled. I saw Paul look up at me and start to laugh a bit - obviously his wolf hearing had picked up on my moment. I felt the edges of my lips quirk upward in a small smile before I walked back and sat down in my spot next to him.

Paul didn't say anything else to me, and I found that I didn't mind that. I just sighed as I continued to eat the rest of my stew, content in being around people from which I didn't have to hide. Though I felt like some of an outcast anyway, I didn't feel like I needed to be someone I wasn't. There was an easy feeling around Paul, almost easy as breathing, one that I couldn't deny no matter how hard I tried.

I didn't realize that Leah was sitting by me until I heard her ask, "So how's it going?"

I jolted a bit before turning to look at her. She had also moved to get an extra serving of the stew and was quickly wolfing it down.

"Fine," I said. "How's it with you?"

"Same." She looked across at her imprint, "Jake's still embarrassed to talk to you after we acted like the epitome of assholes at the diner."

"Hey!" he exclaimed before looking over at Leah. His eyes locked on mine for a moment and I could see the guilt that crossed his face. So maybe he had a reason for ignoring me…it still didn't make me feel any better.

He quickly looked back at his food, yet again resolving in ignoring me.

"Ah, come on, Jake," Paul said from beside me. "She's not as feeble as you think she is."

I felt a certain warmth at Paul's words, wondering what I could have done to make him think that. I was certain that he thought me a weak, useless human, which I most certainly felt like nowadays.

Jacob turned and looked from Paul to me, as if in disbelief. He raised an eyebrow before scoffing and saying, "I'm sorry, Bells. For being an ass."

I shrugged, "It's okay."

"No, it's not." He stared at me forcefully, "I won't do that again. It was uncalled for to be that…that…"

"Much of an asshole?" Paul provided. I found myself snickering.

Again, Jacob looked at us as if staring at a painting he found particularly confusing. The time we talked about Picasso in the shed came to mind.

Leah jabbed Jacob with her elbow, and I watched in awe as he winced. What was that all about? Weren't werewolves not supposed to feel anything like that? She couldn't have hit him that hard…

I shook my head, ridding myself of those ridiculous thoughts. Maybe I'd just imagined it. But when I looked at Paul, I saw him staring at the two of them with increasing interest - he must have seen it as well, and, like myself, he had no idea what to make of it.

Jacob seemed to recover quickly from that moment and nudged her lightly with his shoulder, causing her to move slightly in my direction. She never touched me though, as if he couldn't get her off balance.

I looked at Paul and he shrugged, as if guessing my thoughts.

We quickly went back to eating after Paul had nothing more to add, which was odd for him. I guessed he didn't know enough to actually say anything, but I was rather curious. Even if what I had seen wasn't normal, it was rather odd to see someone like Jacob reduced to saying, "Ow," at the hands of his model-like girlfriend.

I gulped spoonful after spoonful of my soup, desperately trying to rid the image from my mind, and what it meant. Could imprints actually harm the ones they were imprinted to? Is that what it was? _No, _I thought, shaking my head slightly. That was stupid. I had to keep my mind off of that. It didn't concern me, anyway.

"Hi," a voice called, jarring me out of my thoughts.

I looked up to see the kind face of Kim staring down at me. She smiled with her teeth, giving me a grin that I was sure Jared was falling over himself to be the recipient of. She smiled lightly and said, "I'm Kim, I don't think we were introduced."

"Bella," I said, taking the hand she offered. I glanced over at Paul, who was busy eating his soup. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," she said gently.

Quickly, her eyes darted from me to Paul, before she said - in what I supposed she thought was a whisper, "You two are cute together - are you his imprint?"

At her words, we both tensed. I actually heard Paul spit out some of his soup in a spit-take I wish I had seen. I started coughing in embarrassment. Leah started patting my back in shock; she had heard what Kim said, too. Frankly, I think everyone in the circle heard her innocent comment. Or what she thought was innocent at the time.

I knew how Paul felt about imprinting, and I figured that everyone in the pack knew that as well, seeing as their minds were linked when in wolf form. Kim had no prior knowledge to that, so she couldn't be blamed. But still, it was a rather jolting comment, one that I knew Paul would take offense too, especially if the object of his imprint was mistaken to be little ol' Bella Swan.

"No," we said in unison. My voice was shyer, while Paul's was curt and no-nonsense.

"Oh," Kim said, backing down a bit. She looked as embarrassed as we felt, "Sorry. You two just looked…wow, I'm so sorry."

"No problem," I said, laughing nervously. I felt the heat on my cheeks just then. No wonder, Bella Swan was a human torch.

Paul grunted something unintelligible. I wasn't sure what it was, but I was sure that it was rude, by the tone of it.

Kim smiled at us and departed, heading back to Jared's side. Jared took her back with open arms, allowing her to sit in his lap. He smiled at her, but I saw as she looked back at us with a curiosity that was unparalleled and then whisper in her ear.

I didn't know what he said, but apparently the sensitive wolf ears in the group.

"Hey!" Paul barked from beside me. I looked over to see that Sam looked rankled as well. Jacob was on edge. What the hell was going on?

"What?" Jared looked at Paul innocently before tucking a strand of hair behind Kim's ear.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about."

"No, not really."

"Prick," he spat, eyes as dangerous as I'd ever seen them.

"P-Paul…" I ventured, but he held up a hand to stop me.

"If you want to badmouth Bella because of her previous relationships, then might I add that you had a rather salacious affair with - "

"Paul!"

"No, not me, Bella," he looked at me, grinning wolfishly at my sudden exclamation.

"Okay, okay," Jared spoke, raising his hands as if to ward off the verbal assault. "Sorry, Bella."

I blinked, my eyes suddenly feeling as if they were wheeling in confusion. It was a rather dizzying feeling, one that I would not like to repeat, thank you very much. I tried to gather my words and found myself saying, "Um…okay."

Paul gave a bitter little chuckle at my lackluster acceptance of the apology, as thin as it was. I found myself not caring. I figured it had something to do with Edward, since I made my inferences from the previous conversation. I felt like I should defend Edward, say that he wasn't all bad, but I was suddenly bone-tired. Besides, he didn't love me anymore…why should I defend him?

I realized how bitter that made me sound, so I dropped it.

That still didn't mean I was going to defend Edward. Frankly, I don't know why I should defend him. He left me, lost, in the woods. I could have died…

But he didn't care, right?

_Right._

I guessed that's what vampires did to you. Used you and then left you when you were positive that you couldn't live without them.

Damn them.

I fought a slight smile as my thoughts continued to whirl around my head. Humorous as my musings were, it felt wrong thinking of Edward in a negative light, even though he caused me so much pain. Shouldn't he allow me at least that? The ability to hate him? But no…I could never do that.

I only realized that Paul had been calling my name when he waved his large hand in front of my face. I jumped slightly and then exclaimed, "Oh!"

His face twisted into an amused grin, one that sent heat flashing down my spine for whatever reason. I knew it wasn't good, so I tried to displace that feeling by thinking it away.

It didn't work.

"Do you want any more?" he asked. "I'm about to go up for fourths."

A wry smile crept over my features, "Fourths? You're lucky you burn all that food off or you'd end up looking like - "

He waved me off, looking exasperated and amused at the same time. "Eh, shut up. Do you want more stew or not?"

I felt the wryness drain out of my smile. Suddenly I was genuinely smiling at the guy at his kind gesture, "Uh…no, thank you…I'm kind of full."

A _kind _Paul was a _confusing _Paul.

He nodded roughly at me before rising from his seat and heading over to the pot of stew. I watched him as he went, not aware that I was actually staring at him until he turned around and caught me. I blushed to the roots of my hair and finished off the remainder of my stew before toying with the lip of the bowl.

Paul sat down again beside me. He hadn't even touched the bench before he started eating. These wolves never ceased to amaze me with their desperate eating, as if they'd never again see food.

I turned to Paul, a sudden thought occurring to me, "Is Charlie here?"

He looked up at me, spoon between his lips. He took it out and placed it back in his bowl before saying, "Billy called a while ago, apparently. They're going to be around here in a few minutes, I think. Of course, that call was at least two hours ago."

I stiffened, feeling somehow that Victoria was right beside me, when I knew good and well that she wasn't. "Did Vic - "

Paul raised a hand to shut me up, "No, no. Vampires don't come on our land. A lone vampire on wolf territory? Either stupid or suicidal. And Victoria is neither."

I sighed, feeling relieved. At least while we were at La Push we wouldn't be bothered with Victoria and her vendetta. It was something that I was constantly worried about, the thing that always nudged the back of my mind.

"_If only you knew what she had planned for you."_

I shivered at Laurent's words.

"Cold?"

I turned in the direction of the voice for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. But this time it was different. Though I felt myself becoming closer to Paul, for reasons I had yet to identify, I had no idea that he would speak to me like this…regard me with such…_care_.

"I'm fine, Paul," I whispered. "Thanks."

He grunted an admission and went back to eating.

For a while, all I could do was stare.

* * *

_**End Chapter Twelve.**_


	13. Proclivity

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Okay, here's the latest chapter. I hope that y'all enjoy this one. I am really trying to get this chapters out fairly quickly and all. I am just glad that everyone seems to be enjoying this fic. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Thirteen: Proclivity**

* * *

After the food, after the fun and the drama and the laughs, Paul took me home.

Or, rather, I drove, but he rode along with me. But I suppose that doesn't matter, since the car ride was completely silent the entire way back. Charlie had to take his own car back to the house, which I was grateful for. I didn't even want to think about what would happen if all three of us were crammed into the cab of my rickety little truck.

The ride seemed to take forever, and I felt myself becoming increasingly anxious. There was something niggling at the back of my head, something I didn't even realize was bothering me until the question escaped my lips.

"What was Jared saying to Kim earlier? About me?"

Though Paul didn't move at all, I could almost sense that his muscles contracted, tensed, at my question. Maybe that was why it was so silent in the car. I felt myself regretting my words, and tried to take them back.

Paul, as though expecting my reaction, held up a hand and sighed exasperatedly, "No, no, you have a right to know." He kept staring out the windshield. "I guess I was hoping you wouldn't ask, then I wouldn't have to bring it up. But damn you and your curiosity."

I felt my lips twitch upward. "Curiosity killed the cat."

"Killed the Swan in this case."

I felt an abrupt laugh tear from my throat, rough and heady and surprised. I changed a glance at Paul, who was still staring out the window. I felt my laughter was misplaced, for his eyebrows were pulled tightly together, his hands balled into his fists and clenching the fabric of his shorts.

"It's okay, Paul."

He snorted, ignoring my reassurance. "You wanna know what Jared said? Fine." He turned to look at me, at which point I quickly turned my head away and stared out in front of me. For some reason I couldn't stand having him look at me like that - like he…_resented_ having to tell me.

"He said, 'You know that girl isn't going to be anyone's imprint. She's only for the _leeches_. Any wolf who imprinted on her would be setting himself up for disaster.'"

I felt myself go cold, a flash of ice water directly in my veins, before heat flooded in its place.

"What the _hell_, man?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Paul jump. It was a minute little thing, but I felt satisfied that I had caught him off guard. I looked over at him as my truck turned into my driveway, slamming on the break as soon as I got within. "Is that what you wolves talk about while I'm not there? About how much of a _leech-lover _I am?"

Paul stared at me, and I felt so satisfied at the look of shock on his face that I almost felt my lips curl into a smirk. I forced the edges of my mouth down into a scowl and opened my mouth to continue my tirade. "You know, you could always just let Victoria _have _me. You don't have to do all of this. I'm sure it would all be easier."

I wasn't sure where all this cynical, boiling rage was coming from, but I had a good idea. Jared's words, while meaning to reassure his imprint for her innocent mistake, cut me. He obviously had meant for them to be harsh words, completely capable of cutting down weak little Bella Swan, had she heard them.

"Shut up," Paul snapped.

"What?" I asked in a wry, self-loathing tone, "You know that would be the truth. All of this…it's stupid. Everything you guys are doing for me…it's nonsensical and…and _stupid_."

"Need a thesaurus?"

I glared at him.

Paul rolled his eyes as I put the car in park. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Just shut up. You have no idea…"

"I have no idea about _what_?"

"Just whatever. Let's get you inside." Paul shut the door of my truck and started to move to the porch. I got out of the truck, locked it, and followed.

"_Paul_."

He spun around at my tone, "Jared's opinion doesn't count for the opinions of the group. Just because the pack shares each others' thoughts while in wolf form _doesn't mean_ that we all share the same opinion. _Calm down._"

I stopped in my tracks. The intensity of his voice scared me, if I was to be completely honest with myself. I'd forgotten that I was with the most volatile of all the wolves, the one most likely to lose their temper and phase. And right now, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't do it. After all, Sam had phased in front of Emily and done that to her…and _she_ was his imprint. Paul didn't have the same kind of loyalty to me.

"And about all this _dying shit._ I thought we were past this? I thought you were at least trying not to pity yourself anymore. I _liked _that person."

I huffed at that, "I didn't say I wanted it. Just that it would be easier for all of you if you didn't have me as a burden."

Paul slapped his face with a hand, "What have I told you about you _not _being a burden? This is what we do, Bella. We kill vampires. We protect innocent public, despite the fact that they were once a vampire's girlfriend. Jake, Sam, Emily, Leah…hell, _I _even care about you. Jared is the only one that thinks that way. And believe me, it grates."

I deflated, looking at Paul, at the way his hand was shaking even as he pressed it against the back of his neck as he lifted his eyes to me. I felt my shoulders slump, all the fight taken out of me in that instant. I whispered, "I'm sorry."

Paul seemed to mirror my look. He looked utterly exhausted, his eyes half-lidded and his mouth slack. He shrugged, "No problem." For a moment he seemed to try to open the front door, then realizing it was locked, turned to me. I nodded and started to come up the steps onto the porch, bringing out my key and unlocking the door, letting it swing open with a muted creak.

He pushed ahead of me, and for a moment I thought he was simply being rude, but in fact I saw that he was sniffing lightly, his eyes darting around the first floor. Testing for vampires. When it seemed no one was there, he turned to me and nodded.

"I think you might be taking after me, after all," he said as I stepped through the threshold.

I looked up at him, amazement and disbelief crossing my features. How could he go from hot to cold in a matter of seconds. I gaped, my mouth opening and closing like that of a fish out of water. "Uh…what?"

Paul grinned - _grinned!_ - and said, "The Bella that I saw tagging along with Jake would never have done that."

"What do you mean?" I wasn't sure whether to feel insulted or flattered. Well, it was at least normal - I always seemed to have conflicting feelings around Paul.

"You were always mope-y. Quiet. I never would've thought you had a mouth like that on you. I thought you were the type that let people fight _for _you. Looks like I was wrong."

I blushed, "I can stand up for myself…"

"Clearly," he said, yet I wasn't sure if he believed my words or not. He smirked and led the way up the stairs, clapping me hard on the back before he said, "Atta girl."

I scowled at him before I discreetly rubbed the spot on my back where his hand had made contact. "Are you bipolar or something?"

Paul looked back at me, just as he was in the middle of the stairs. "I could ask you that same question."

"What?"

"The way you just flipped out. Went all calm and collected like usual to freakin' raging harpy like on Jerry Springer. Meryl Streep would be jealous."

"Calm and collected? When have I _ever_ been _calm and collected_?"

"All the time," Paul replied. "You don't see yourself too clearly, do you?"

And just like that, a stab through my already ragged chest. I remembered the first time I'd heard that question, said with a wry smile as topaz colored eyes looked down at me, filled with the love that I now thought was fake. I struggled to keep it together, clutching my chest where the hole resided, still throbbing and wicked, and breathed deeply in and out.

_No, you need to stop this. Stop letting this get to you. Stop letting __**Edward**__ get to you._

I pulled myself out of the depths and looked up at Paul, whose gaze was almost suspiciously blank, but if I looked hard enough I could make out the concern in his eyes. "Something the leech said, no doubt."

"Yes." The sound of my voice was hoarse, breathy, as if I'd been punched in the gut, had all the wind knocked out of me.

"C'mon," he moved aside for me to get on the stairs above him. It looked to be against his instincts, to let a girl lead the way into a potential battle situation. But the house was clear, Paul would have realized if anyone was waiting for us in my room. I then realized that he was probably protecting me from myself. I'd looked myself in the mirror after one of my Edward-induced attacks, seen the way my face became paler than usual, the way all blood left my face, the way I trembled. He was probably nervous that I would faint and fall backwards on the stairs, an ironic end to what he was sacrificing so much to protect.

Or, I might be looking to far into it. I didn't want to get cocky, to think that Paul cared _that _much about me. He had other priorities, after all. What they were, I wasn't sure, but I knew that I couldn't be the only thing that worried him in his life.

Somehow, I wished he would open up and share…

No. I shook my head as I opened the door to my room. I couldn't think like that. Being close to people only hurt you in the end. If I got too close to Paul and he imprinted on someone…

The thought stopped me dead in my tracks.

"What?" Paul was immediately at my side, looking around the room. "Did I miss something?"

I was silent, thinking about this newfound knowledge. Sure, we had talked about it earlier, but I hadn't thought about how his imprinting would affect me. I just knew how much he hated to think that he might be next. The next person that would have his will taken away from him, forced to love someone he originally wouldn't have. I knew that Paul didn't want it, and I knew I didn't want it for him either.

But this new ache, this new panging in my chest, was something completely different than what I had experienced earlier in the day. At the time I was only worried for Paul, worried that he would lose control and run off, worried about the fact that he so hated being a slave to a legend that was actually truth.

Until now, in such a throwaway thought, I had never even considered how it would affect my own state of being if Paul imprinted, as selfish as that sounds.

Surely, I wasn't…I didn't…things weren't like they were with Jake before he imprinted. There was something different between Paul and I, something that I couldn't just shake off. While Jacob was my own personal sun, getting me through the darkest of days, Paul had been an anchor. A steady, solid presence, as tough as iron itself. Keeping me from drifting away to sea when things got too tough. Paul…understood me on a level that I felt Jake never did. He didn't put up with what I considered to be appropriate mourning over lost love. In such a short time, he had already made such an important indent on my life, one that I didn't want to lose.

But I would lose it, if he were to imprint.

I'd lose _everything_.

As melodramatic as that sounds, I knew I would be in just as big of a wreck when Paul imprinted.

But I'd try to handle it differently.

I'd learned a lot of things from the many people I'd been fortunate enough to know. I'd learned from Edward that I could be desirable, even if it was only for my blood. I'd learned from Jake that I was a myriad of things. And from Paul, I'd learned I was stronger than I'd given myself credit for. Instead of lurking about in the depths of my own self pity, Paul had dragged me out kicking and screaming, told me to get a grip on myself. Something that no one else had ever tried to do, thinking me too fragile to deal with criticism and harsh comments.

I was stronger now, I could feel it. And not in the immortal sense. Where I had thought myself weak physically before, I felt none of it. I felt as indestructible as any immortal, though it was probably just because my mental state had improved so.

If Paul were to imprint, I'd try the same thing I did with Jake - I'd try to be happy for him.

I wouldn't bring everyone down with my self pity. That wasn't helping anyone, as Paul had so pointed out before. I would be happy for Paul and the random, lottery girl that was lucky enough to have him.

Lucky enough? Yes…whoever ended up with Paul in the end was just that. _Lucky._

I hadn't realized I was so spaced out until Paul put both hands on my shoulder. "Swan?" The warmth of his hands seeped through my sweater, leaking through every limb in my body, filling every cell to bursting. "Hey…earth to Bella."

I snapped out of it, only to realize how close to me Paul was. I could feel his breath fan across the crown of my head as he leaned over me, as if I were a patient he were examining. "Are you okay? Is it one of those leeches with the powers?"

I blinked a few times before looking up, my eyes surely as vacant as Paul's were frantic. I felt the gravity of my newest revelation flow through me, felt it as certain as I knew my own name. "I'm fine…sorry."

"Geez," Paul said, though his hands still on my shoulders. I found that I didn't want them to let go of me. That though was enough to send me backing up slightly. "I thought you'd gone catatonic again."

"Me? Never…" I joked thinly.

It didn't work. Paul's face was set in deep concentration - our bodies were still too close. He backed away, as if I were something that he was particularly iffy about, something that maybe he didn't want to get too close too. Maybe he felt the same as I did about that. Maybe not. I was probably just imagining things, right?

The night outside was as dark as ink, a few stars could be seen from my position in my room. I stared at that for a while as Paul moved to sit in the rocking chair nestled in the corner of my room. He inhaled deeply, steadying his fists. I only now realized that they were shaking, trembling against the instinct to phase.

"Did I make you mad?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Paul looked up slowly, the tremors slowly subsiding, "What would you say that?"

"Your hands were shaking." I pointed at his large, thin hands. "Jake's did that whenever he was mad at me."

Paul exhaled a breath that sounded like a whistle, "No. Not mad."

"Oh."

He didn't look like he was going to say more on the fact until I sighed and said, "Sorry."

"Quit apologizing," he growled, "for things that are not your fault."

"But it seems - "

"Bella," he said, and I felt an unwilling chill go down my spine as he did so. "It's fine. You're fine. I'm fine. You know what everyone else knows. I'm the one with the least amount of control over my changes. Anything could have brought it on."

"Oh." I muttered. That seemed to be the safe word to say.

Paul looked at me, and there was something in his eyes I couldn't place. I found myself thinking that quite often, thinking that there would be something there but there wasn't. Thinking that there wasn't anything there but there was. It was a strange cycle, that. I wasn't sure what to make of it. The shade to his eyes changed from something dark to something infinitely safer. "Your dad's home."

As if on cue, Charlie's voice rang out, "Bella! I'm home!"

I paused for a moment, looking at Paul with what I was sure was an expression of shock. "Um…"

"Go say hey." Paul waved me off, a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. "I'll be here when you get back."

I ignored the way my stomach contracted when he said that.

I nodded at him, gave him a feeble smile, and started to descend down the stairs all the while feeling as if I was descending into something deeper.

* * *

_**End Chapter Thirteen.**_


	14. Threat

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Okay! I've had this little encounter planned for a while. I hope that y'all enjoy this chapter. It was pretty fun to write, since I figured these two needed an encounter soon enough. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy! I am so grateful for all of your support! Thanks so much for sticking with me and this fic!_

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**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Fourteen: Threat**

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I was running. Running without any clue where I was going. All I knew was that I needed to get away. I needed to flee from this creature that so craved my death. I could hear her laughing in my ear, though I should be quite ahead of her. I banished that last thought from my mind. My pursuer was a vampire, after all, and I could no more be ahead of her than I could physically attack her.

I found myself screaming, running through the trees and stumbling over my own traitorous, clumsy feet. Falling over thick, creeping tree roots. Using the trees themselves to pull me back to my feet as I continued at a steady run.

Even though I was quickly becoming tired, the adrenaline was pulsating through me, powering me forward even though my body was quickly becoming just a shell, using up all its energy in a brief, feverish attempt to stay alive.

"Paul!" I shouted, hating myself for crying out, for wanting him to help me. I should be trying to protect him. He shouldn't have to protect me. I didn't want him getting hurt. Even now…after everything…

But Paul did not come. He did not care what I was doing, how close I was to death. My screams turned into unintelligible sounds, like that of someone completely crazed with terror. I continued running.

I looked over my shoulder. She wasn't following me. Had I escaped? Had I made it out of the woods, so to speak?

I turned back to face the direction in which I was running, only to see the fiery snarl of red hair and even deeper, redder eyes. A wicked, hateful smirk spread across her lips, somehow more threatening than if she were scowling.

"It's been a while, Bella."

She had won.

I woke up screaming, thrashing in my bed, yelling out for anyone to help. I wasn't sure if Charlie would hear me or not. He'd long ago started to ignore my night terrors, sure that they were just a product of Edward leaving me. If only he knew the current reason I had them…

I grasped for purchase on my sheets, my eyes still shut as if I was afraid of opening them. Instead of sheets, I grabbed something solid, something corded with muscle. I shrieked and finally opened my eyes, thinking that Victoria had somehow manifested in reality. However, the arms around me were much too warm, and there was a definite heartbeat thudding in my ear.

I opened my eyes to see them level with the very arm I had been trying to get rid of. The russet skin was a blatant, almost comical, contrast to my own skin. I felt myself shuddering; the fact that there was someone else so close to me had no affect on my horrified state.

There was something else.

These arms were leaner, yet still hard with muscle. Somehow, I knew that this wasn't Paul. Paul wouldn't be this touchy, I was certain, even if I had been screaming in my sleep. The telltale sign that it definitely wasn't Paul was the strange, spiraled scarring around the person's wrist, just barely visible except in situations like this.

I stiffened, and there was a throaty laugh above me. "Geez, Bells. No wonder Paul's been exhausted if you're doing all that screaming every night."

"Jacob…" I whispered.

When he noticed that my muscles hadn't relaxed one bit after I realized that it was him holding me, he unwound his arms from me, saying, "Sorry."

I looked up - and up and _up_ - and saw Jacob staring down at me, deep-set eyes furrowed in confusion. He brushed a bit of hair from my face and looked into my eyes. At that very touch, I felt all the muscles in my body tense up again, as if my best friend was oozing poison out of his pores.

"Bella…"

He said my name, and I was immediately back in the garage, feeling his warm fingers on mine, remembering the way he helped me with the bikes, the way that he would always smile as if I were the center of his world…

A sudden jolt, one that I had not even thought of in what seemed like forever, hit me head on in the chest. It was as if Jacob had taken the very fingers that he had just brushed my hair back with and shoved them through my chest and _twisted_…

"What are you doing here?" I croaked out, my voice barely over a whisper.

"I convinced Paul to let me watch you for a bit."

"Convinced?"

Jacob's look was wry, "He's surprisingly stubborn."

"Nothing surprising about it."

He looked at me oddly for a moment, as if trying to comprehend what I had just said, even though I knew it wasn't that confusing. No doubt he had other thoughts, though I wasn't sure what they were. I sat up, blushing and suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin. I wore only my ratty t-shirt and a pair of shorts, but I felt as if I were nude.

"Why are you here?"

"I've been a jackass, Bella," he stated, completely blunt and honest. I found myself laughing at that, but cut myself off. I glanced toward the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was almost five in the morning. I couldn't let Charlie hear me.

It was a strange thing, laughing with him. The very action reminded me of what I'd lost and what he'd gained. I had been doing good, I thought. Most of my thoughts regarding my recent predicament had been centered around Paul. I hadn't realized it until then, but…maybe I had been avoiding thinking of Jacob. Maybe I'd done what I had with Edward, forbidden his name to cross my thoughts until I'd gotten fed up with everything. Maybe as soon as I heard about his imprint, I vowed to myself that I would never think of Jacob fondly again, that the only emotion I would try to feel would be my contrived happiness at his fate, and had convinced myself I wasn't hurt by it…

But I was.

It was hard enough, being rejected by who I thought was the love of my life. It was even harder being rejected by the man I thought was my salvation.

I felt all the walls I'd built around myself in the aftermath of Jake's imprint start to crumble around me as if they were made of bread instead of stone. I felt tears start to well in my eyes - probably from a mixture of tiredness and the fact that Jake was here. That he took the time to come and check on me. That he told Paul that he'd handle me for a while, whilst Paul did who knows what…

"Bella!" Jacob gasped. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He started to check me over, as if I'd really been wounded.

I hadn't realized any of this until know, but I'd known that it would come to this sooner or later. Instead of going into a zombie phase like after Edward left, I had done a whole new coping mechanism. Trying to forget about Jacob completely. I hadn't wanted to admit how much I still needed his friendship. Needed his company. I didn't want to admit how much I had been hoping that one day, my broken heart would be enough for his. I didn't want to think about how he had found a perfectly complete heart on his own, that of a person just as jaded by unrequited love as he was.

Even though mine might not have been entirely unrequited.

It suffocated me, this wall of information, crowding on me like a swarm of bees, stinging and injecting their venom, leaving stingers…

"I've missed you." My voice was broken, cracking in odd places. Jacob quickly brought his fingers up to wipe away my tears. No, no, he couldn't touch me. I couldn't crave what I couldn't have. I pushed his hands away.

He looked confused for a moment, and then his eyebrows relaxed in an expression of understanding. "Yeah. I suppose I don't get that privilege anymore."

"You don't want that privilege anymore, Jake," I reminded him gently, surprised that my words didn't have more bite.

"It's not my fault."

"I know." I looked at him, momentarily stunned by his unorthodox beauty. "It still hurts."

"It's hard to think that it would…" he trailed off, seeming to think of the words before he said them. And odd thing in and of itself. "I always thought…"

"I was changing," I replied. I was shocked that we had barely talked in days and this conversation was the first thing we've addressed. I supposed it needed to be said. I needed to at least get it out in the open, so that I could try to move on. Blocking it away behind wall after wall wasn't helping me. The walls would end up crushing me in the end. "I felt it. Subtly, but it was there. If I had had more time…"

"And I would have waited."

His words, so true and sincere, whispered with a sweet, sad kindness that was so strangely delicate, made my breath catch. I forced my mouth into a smile, "I'm trying my best."

"I know. I can tell."

"I thought ignoring the issue - or at least forcing myself to be happy for you - would be best, but it has been an uphill climb."

"You don't have to force yourself to be happy for me, Bells. If you're mad, be mad. If you're sad, be sad. You can totally hit me if you want to."

"I just didn't want you to worry about me, especially when you have other things to worry about."

Jake gave me a smile, his teeth white against his dark skin, "Bella, you know you can't stop people from worrying over you. With your track record, it's a give-in."

I pursed my lips and crossed my arms, "Jerk."

Jacob smiled and rose from the side of my bed, looking down at me like I was still something of importance to him, even though he had his heart forcefully ripped from that part of the equation. I thought that maybe we could salvage our friendship, maybe… I just had to get over him first.

It was odd, feuding with the remnants of my feelings for both of them - Edward and Jacob - especially when the wounds were still so fresh. Even now, the hole Jacob had carved started to throb incessantly, almost like the beating of my own heart. "I really do hope you and Leah are happy. Well, I know you two are…I'm going to try my best to make things like they were, Jake. I'm just…going to need a little more time."

"We have all the time in the world, hon."

My heart leapt at even that, and I realized that I had been foolish to dismiss my feelings for him so easily. The man that had helped me get together, the man that had half of my affections, the man that I had once wished was my brother so things wouldn't be so complicated…

"You should be getting ready for school," he said. "I'll wait here. Paul's gone to get a quick breakfast."

"Breakfast?"

Jacob shrugged, "When we don't have time to eat human food, we hunt."

I shuddered as I moved over to my dresser, "Like…_deer_?"

"Usually two."

Yet another shudder rippled down my spine as I thought of that. "Geez, Jake," I replied. "TMI, much?"

"Wow, I didn't even know you knew what TMI meant."

I gave a laugh, a surprisingly freeing one, and walked into the bathroom to change. It was an odd feeling, Paul not being the first person I saw in the morning. I wasn't sure what the strange pit in my stomach was at that thought, but I knew I didn't like it. It was a foreign, odd thing, something that reminded me of so many days spent with the people I had deemed most important.

The shortness of the time spent meant next to nothing in comparison to the _quality _of it. I found myself focusing on the little nuances I had picked out to be completely and utterly _Paul_ over the days. I looked at myself in the mirror before I undressed and got in the shower. I hadn't realized how red my cheeks were. From Jacob? Ridiculous. The combination of whirling thoughts that revolved around both Edward and Jacob must have taken their toll.

I dressed, brushed my teeth, and headed downstairs to make myself a short breakfast. I hadn't realized how long I had been in the shower until Jake made a snide comment about my hygiene. I tossed one of my pop tarts in his direction, which he caught mid-air in his teeth. I stared at him in disgust.

This was how it should have been. Easy as breathing, just two friends. Just how it should be. Just what I needed to regain. I needed my friendship with Jacob, and sooner or later, I would be able to think of him as only a friend - my best friend - and not something I had lost to some mythical mumbo-jumbo I didn't even understand.

I shook my head and looked at the clock. I hadn't realized how long our conversation had gone, so I was going to be late to school even though I had awoken much earlier than usual. I let out a small curse and moved to my car. Jacob was sitting at the table, looking at me curiously. His position was so similar to Paul's that I almost paused. Suddenly, I was hit with the fact that I missed him.

_Missed _him! And he hadn't even been gone long!

I growled at myself, hating this new development as I shut the truck door behind me. I cranked the car and saw Jacob come stand on the porch, watching me as I left, oddly reminiscent of Paul. I looked forward as I drove and saw in my rear view mirror, he had vanished.

An odd thought occurred to me then, thinking about how the wolves could just disappear like that.

I wondered what that would be like…to have the ability to disappear.

* * *

Somehow, I had a slight spring in my step the entire day.

Maybe it was the effect of being around Jacob that morning. Actually having a conversation with him, a full blown conversation that didn't include his stunning imprint. It was almost enough to remind me who I once had been, the person I had been around him. I hated to admit that I had missed being that person.

Sure, there was a part of me that missed Jacob, but there was a part of me that had been empowered. There was a part of me that knew that I would get over him sooner or later, the part that had been nurtured by the rash, rough presence of a certain werewolf. The wounds from both vampire and werewolf hurt now but I was certain, with time, that they would go away. I wasn't the same, lost little girl in the woods.

Or so I thought.

The day passed quickly. I talked animatedly to Angela, she smiled and we made a few jokes. Mike was even a welcome presence.

We had a test that day in English class on Jane Austen's _Emma_, which I had read tons of time before. I was able to dodge the potentially humiliating task of talking in history class when Mike interrupted for me. Sometimes he could really be a good friend - when he wasn't drooling down my back, of course.

The day passed by mercifully fast. I still wasn't sure of the plans for the day. I had no idea if I was to meet Paul at my house before going to La Push or if he was going to meet me in the parking lot. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I supposed it would all work itself out, as long as Charlie ended up being okay in the end.

I walked to my truck. I was unable to get a prime parking spot that morning due to the fact that I was one of the last people getting to school. It was all the way at the back of the lot. But it was okay, I supposed. I probably needed the workout, anyway.

I dug around for my keys, looking down at my backpack where they were hidden just as I neared my ancient vehicle. I found myself humming - an odd occurrence in and of itself - and I finally brought out my keys. I raised them to unlock the driver's seat, which I then tried to open, when something white caught my eye.

I looked up and was startled to see a pale white hand, fingers curved like claws, against the door of my truck, holding it closed.

_Edward?_ My heart broke. _Edward!_

No, this was too much for me to take. It couldn't be him! It had to be an illusion, right? It couldn't possibly be _my Edward_.

But the bone-colored hand was telltale of a vampire.

I was frightened to look up and meet the eyes of the being next to me. Scared to hope, scared to believe…

But no…no, that couldn't be Edward. Edward didn't love me. Edward wouldn't come back. The insignificant little human wouldn't even make him bat an eyelash.

And that hand…that hand was not the one I had so familiarized myself with. I had held Edward's hand in my own, known the contours of it as well as I'd known my own. I stared for a long moment at the hand, still disbelieving, before looking up.

Cruel, wry eyes greeted me - I did not notice anything else about the stranger other than the fact that those darkly amused eyes were the color of blood.

"Bella Swan." His voice was a deafening echo of the past. "Pleasure to meet you."

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_**End Chapter Fourteen.**_


	15. Vexation

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for your reviews! They always mean a lot, and I am so glad for the response this story is getting. I hope that y'all enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for reading!_

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**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Fifteen: Vexation**

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Every cell in my body froze in that instant.

I found that I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything except stare at the marvelous intruder in my own private bubble. There was a faint voice in the back of my head, warning me that this was a very, _very_ dangerous situation.

That voice sounded too much like Edward's…

I studied the person in front of me, looking at him with all the curiosity that I had once gazed upon Edward with. I felt my heart tug in two separate directions, one piece aching to head toward the creature in front of me due to his extreme likeness to the marble Adonis I once knew and the other piece, wrenching itself away from the whole, wanting desperately to get away. Knowing that this could cause nothing but harm for me later.

Rational thought and pure emotion warred within me. I found myself wringing my hands in front of me, to frightened - or too uncompelled - to move.

The man in front of me was tall, attractive, and lean, with an angular face and strong jaw. His blonde hair was tousled in disarray, as if he had really been running. The natural disheveled appearance of his hair was enough to remind me of Edward, but that was where the similarities ended.

Aside from the white skin and the inhuman beauty, this man was very different from who used to be my Edward.

He had a sense of dark humor that hung over him like a cloud. His eyes glinted like rubies set into a statue, somehow pretty and off-putting at the same time.

"You know my name," I mumbled, tingeing my words with sarcasm, "but I don't have the pleasure of knowing yours?"

What the hell was wrong with me? Though my voice was as quiet as I could make it, as insecure as I could make it sound, I was taunting the very thing that could kill me quicker than anything on this earth. Just one snap of those fingers could send me reeling into the nearest tree. Crush my skull. Snap my neck.

He grinned at me. I inhaled sharply, stunned at the beauty of him. He reminded me of a movie star, though I couldn't place my finger one which one. A gorgeous one, no doubt. The very sight of him was enough to make me yearn for the Cullens. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward…

_Edward, Edward, Edward…_

"Riley."

I blinked a few times, "What…?"

He rolled his eyes, looking like he couldn't even be bothered to answer me for a good while. "My name. Riley."

His sweet, cold breath wafted over my cheeks, tickling my nostrils. He wrinkled his nose a bit before lifting a hand to bring a lock of my hair to his nose. I stood as stiff as a statue, not wanting to move even an inch.

"You smell like dog," he said simply. "Funny, I've heard the smell of your blood is infamous. Not even James could resist. But here you are, that lovely freesia smell almost masked by the scent of - "

"_Bella!_"

All the muscles in my body relaxed in that instant. That one, gorgeous sound, the calling of my name, came from the very person I'd been longing to see all day. My heart thudded in my chest, but I didn't dare turn around. I couldn't seem to force myself to look away from this being, the perfection of his features so like the Cullens that I didn't want to turn from it for fear of it disappearing yet again…

A hot hand on my shoulder pulled me back. I could hear muted growling from somewhere far away.

"Dog," he stated, clearly continuing his previous sentence. "Such a shame."

"Shame?" I could feel the vibrations from the person behind me, almost causing me to shake of my own accord. It wasn't Paul who held me back, it was Jake. I was shocked for a moment, until I saw Paul's face.

He was by my side. Far enough away that I wouldn't be harmed if he lost it. Now I understood. Jake had taken hold of me because Paul didn't trust himself to. Either that or he didn't care. I wasn't concerned about semantics at the moment.

Paul let a growl rip from his throat, one that sent chills down my spine. The harsh snarls continued from the woods around me. At least two that I could distinguish differences in. I felt my hand inch backward and take hold of Jacob's wrist, my fingers trembling as much as his entire body was. He held himself together, but looked over at Paul, "If you can't control it, go in the woods. We can't have a report of wolves here, Paul."

"Shut up," Paul snapped. "You're not Alpha."

"How amusing," Riley said, smiling lightly as he shifted weight to his left leg and crossed his arms. Jacob and Paul immediately stepped forward, Jake putting me behind him as he glared his challenge at the intruder.

"Give us a reason, bloodsucker," Paul said menacingly as he cracked his knuckles.

"Hm? I wasn't going to do anything." He looked at the two of them coyly, as if judging whether or not he could talk his way out of this one. His eyes had a very interested look to them. Not surprised, but _intrigued_. "What ever made you think that?"

"You're a _bloodsucker_."

Riley let out a laugh that sounded like the chiming of crystal bells. I immediately felt a pang for Alice, something that I tried to mask as quickly as I could, knowing how my face must have looked in that one instant I allowed myself to think of her small frame, twirling as if in a private dance recital.

"I suppose you dogs can't get past that, can you?"

"Pretty much our job not to," Jake said, dark humor coating his tone. I looked over at Paul, who was shaking so much that I was surprised the ground beneath my feet wasn't moving. I bit back a hysterical laugh at that image.

"What are you here for?" Paul demanded, shoving his shaking hands into his jean pockets. The tendons in his neck were so tight I thought they might snap through the russet skin of his throat, like cables breaking free from a bridge.

Riley cocked his head to the side, the growling increased from the woods, and Jacob stepped forward. "You should know it's open season on vampires," he said, his posture languid and almost feline in nature.

"Isn't it always open season on vampires for your kind?"

Paul snarled at him.

Riley flipped his hand in the direction of the woods. "Call them off. I'm not going to hurt her. She's just an item of interest. Infamous, you could say."

"How do you know of her?"

His eyes flashed in thought for a moment, "Old friend. One of the Cullens."

"Which one was that?" Paul snapped. I could hear the distrust in his voice.

"Jasper," he said. My heart lurched at the name.

Paul looked at Jacob, his eyebrow quirked a bit. Jake shook his head and sighed, "No. He hasn't broken the treaty. We have no proof. If he is with the Cullens, and we breach the treaty first…it won't be pretty."

"His eyes are red," I pointed out. "The Cullens drink from animals, their eyes are gold because of it. He obviously prefers humans." I wasn't sure what I was doing, talking out like that. But it had to be said.

"I've…fallen off the wagon recently." He ran a hand through his windswept hair. "I am remiss about it, but I am no threat to you, Bella. I just wanted to make your acquaintance. I've heard how…intriguing you are."

"From the Cullens," Paul deadpanned, as if he everything but believed this mysterious stranger.

Riley rolled his head back and forth, as if he were trying to crack his neck, though no sound came. No need for that when your bones were as good as steel rods. I watched him warily from my position safely behind Jacob. I felt safe, despite everything, because I knew somehow that Jacob would die before he let anything happen to me. Maybe that applied to Paul as well, but I wasn't going to push it by thinking so.

"That's what I said." Riley inhaled through his nose, wrinkling it slightly.

"Don't come near her again."

I froze, almost as shocked as I'd been in the beginning, when I had first been faced with the creature in front of me. Paul was…being protective? Sure, it was his job, but that was against Victoria…unless…

I didn't speak my concerns, didn't want to make my words real by blurting them out so randomly. I clamped my teeth shut as Riley moved a bit. Luckily enough, the parking lot was close to empty, save for a few stragglers at the very front, closest to the school. No one was paying attention to the little mini-drama involving the age old conflict that warred between werewolf and vampire. I'd address my thoughts later, where I couldn't be easily killed.

"I'm not sure who you think you're talking to, wolf," Riley replied, rolling a wrist casually. There was something about him that screamed _new_. He seemed confident in his body, not overtly cautious. There was also a slightly crazed look in his eyes as he stared at me. He must have been remarkable under control for someone who craved human blood.

But, then again, that was only a theory.

"I could ask you the same thing, leech." Paul clenched his fists so tightly I could see the tendons sticking out in his forearms. Somehow, I found myself wanting to reach out and spread my fingers over the muscle, as if the action alone could release some of his tension. Which was shocking in and of itself because an urge to touch Paul - even if it was only his arm - was one urge that I did not need to have.

Riley sighed and turned to leave. I was shocked at his audacity, to turn his back on a pair of werewolves that clearly outnumbered him. He hissed something I didn't hear - I could hear the sinister tone the phrase itself was in - but whatever it was caused Jake and Paul to stiffen and angle themselves in my direction.

And then, just like that, he was gone.

I stared out to where he had been standing, looking at my truck as if it held all the answers to the universe. I imagined that his handprint had been permanently imprinted onto my door, something that made me want to wrench it from its hinges.

Instead of doing that, I simply asked Paul, "What'd he say? Before he left?"

Paul turned to me, seeming somewhat surprised that I had addressed him instead of Jake, whose hand was encircling my wrist for some reason. His eyes darted downward to see Jake's fingers curled around my arm before he answered, a careful note in his voice.

"He said we should watch you more closely."

* * *

Paul drove me home after that. I didn't have it in me to protest. I was bone-tired and very weary about my surroundings. I thought back to what had gone down, how I had probably almost died in that very instant. Or maybe not. If my theory was correct, then I didn't have to worry about him all by himself like that.

I decided to test out the theory against Paul, "I think he might have had something to do with Victoria."

I saw Paul's knuckle tighten around the steering wheel. For a second I was fearful that he would end up breaking the thin ring, but he reeled himself back before looking at me, "Yeah."

"Is he?" I asked, slightly stunned at the word.

Paul shrugged, "Could be. I'm surprised you thought of it. Saves us the strife trying to tell you, I guess."

"Strife?"

"Well, since you seem to have a certain soft spot for the bloodsuckers, I thought you might have been hesitant to believe that scenario."

I scoffed before looking down at the frayed edges of my sweater. I really should go shopping some time or another. Vaguely, I wondered when was the last time I had actually bought a piece of new clothing. Maybe I should call Angela later…but would that be a smart idea? I pursed my lips and pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands.

"Then again," he continued, "I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. You're not necessarily stupid."

I stiffened before looking over to him, renewed rage in my tone, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

I saw a flicker of amusement cross over Paul's face before his eyes set gravely, "You tend to hang out with things that are bad for you."

I felt a jolt of something - anger, sadness, desperation? - stab through my chest, catching both the holes at the same time. I clenched my chest, let in a shaky breath.

He didn't seem to notice my preoccupation, just kept driving, though I saw the look of vague interest in his eyes, almost as if he wanted to ask me why I was grabbing my chest like a girl possessed. I was almost grateful that he didn't, though somehow the sound of his voice was more soothing than I would have liked to admit to myself.

I felt a smile - bitter and amused at the same time - cross over my face, "I suppose you're right."

I looked at Paul, saw the way his lips curled upward in victory over my statement.

"However…you might view the people I hang out with as 'bad for me', but I didn't." I turned to look out the passengers' side window. "I still don't."

"Not even when they have the potential to hurt you in the end?" he asked, his voice drawling and unconcerned - to anyone that didn't know him. I admit, not even I knew him as good as, say, Leah or Sam, but I could figure him out better than I thought I could when this whole thing started.

"Nah," I said. "I'll just have to get stronger."

That was a feat in and of itself. The girl speaking was the girl who still had metaphorical holes in her chest, feeling as real as if they had been carved out with a scalpel without anesthesia. Though that girl still existed - painfully so, most times - she felt like she was changing, felt like maybe she could get through life without the constant overhang of lost love, brutally ripped from her fingers at such a young age.

I felt myself smiling, a strange and bitter contrast to my usual awkward grin, "One day, I'm going to remember them with fondness."

Paul had been looking at me this entire time, something that I didn't ignore as easily as I could have. It was strange, having someone's eyes on you that you didn't ever really want to _not _have look at you. It was strange and frightening at the same time. "Really," he said, a statement more than a question.

"Maybe the key to growth is letting go." I shrugged.

Paul snorted, but I continued. It was rather nice being able to talk about this stuff, even if it was with him. Especially if it was with him.

"Maybe one day I can think of them with fondness," I continued, "without it hurting so badly I can't breathe. Maybe…I can be happy again. Maybe one day I can genuinely be happy _for_ them, without it being forced."

There was a moment of silence in which I felt utterly stupid. Those thoughts were feeble at best, still masked by my mindset of loving both Edward and Jacob so badly that it was physically painful. But there was a muted quality to the edges now, something that I couldn't place. Maybe the beginning of something completely new and different? That muted quality was quickly lost, leaving me with the exposed nerve endings that were my feelings.

I felt my cheeks turn red, more heat than I had the mental capacity to remember entered my cheeks. I hadn't remembered the last time I had blushed this hard. Or opened myself this much - without the other person eventually leaving me.

The thought that Paul might one day leave was jarring enough to make me bite my lip. But, then again, I had to get over that. I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet, without the help of another.

_But, _my mind nudged, _it's Paul._

And I couldn't afford to think like that.

The silence went on for a while, until we ended up parking at my house. Paul jumped out of the cab and I followed, walking up the steps to the porch and trying to not stare too hard at the taut muscles of Paul's back.

There was a moment in which Paul opened the door and sniffed the air, the routine looking for the scent of vampire, I knew. Then he did something completely unexpected, at least to me.

He turned around and motioned me ahead of him. As we walked up the stairs - me leading - he said, "You can, you know."

I paused, turning around to see his face. He looked as if he were warring with himself against saying those words, like he wanted nothing more than to absorb those syllables back into himself and act like they had never even been a formed thought in the first place. His nose was wrinkled in an expression of distaste, but his eyes were earnest.

However, I was confused. "What?"

He begrudgingly opened his mouth again, his lips snarling over the word, his shining white teeth bared as if I were the enemy. "Be happy again."

The phrase itself came out like more of a growl, and I felt myself doing something that could have labeled me as insane - I laughed.

Somehow, Paul looked relieved that I had chosen to laugh at his strange sentiment, said through clenched teeth in a voice that was more suited for a battlefield than it was talking to a girl on the stairs.

"You're really something, you know that?" I told him as I kept walking. I could be as flippant as I wanted, but my heart was thudding in my chest at his words, a strange and foreign feeling when not equated to either Edward or Jacob.

"I could say the same for you."

I felt a smile curve my lips.

For once, I felt that the notion of being happy wasn't so farfetched, after all.

* * *

_**End Chapter Fifteen.**_


	16. Reprieve

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for the reviews! My author's notes are going to be shorter, I guess, but just know that I appreciate every single review I get! It's kind of hard to believe! Thank y'all so much!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Sixteen: Reprieve**

* * *

School got harder after that day.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing, most times. During my zombie phase, I had been the model student, making A's without even blinking an eye. Now, however, I found myself struggling to concentrate. I studied as hard as I could, but even then everything I did was as if I was pulling teeth.

I managed to make good grades, but just not with the ease with which I had when I was barely living.

Now, it seemed as if I was living too much - especially by Victoria's standards. I hated the fact that I had to be watched everywhere I went. Paul had relayed my thoughts to the pack, that I thought that it could be a possibility that Riley was working with Victoria. That had everyone on edge, but it was Jared that spoke up one day, when I had been allowed to be at a pack meeting.

"Well, he _could _be with the Cullens." Jared had stared at me as if I was particularly interesting. "Just how well did you know them, anyway?"

The words stung. Just how well did I know the Cullens? I knew a lot of things about Edward, but was that all there was to know? I'd seen his eyes as he told me some bits and pieces of his past. I'd thought he had been skimming over some areas for my sake, but…now that seemed more true than ever.

Jared was harsh in nature, but was he right?

I didn't like it.

"It could be anyone when you put it that way," I had replied. "No one knows _everything_ about _anyone_."

He shut up after that.

I wasn't sure why Jared disliked me, and I didn't care to be honest. I had other things to worry about than a werewolf with a grudge the size of his ego. And that was pretty damn large.

I think Angela might have noticed my funk, because she offered to go shopping with me one weekend. I remembered thinking a few days ago as I sat in my truck after the encounter with Riley that I needed some new clothes. Normally, I wouldn't care what I wore, but it would be something to do.

And I desperately needed the distraction.

I walked through my front door after coming home from school the Friday before our scheduled shopping trip. I had yet to bring it up to Paul for fear that he would shoot down my happiness altogether. But I figured I needed to tell him sooner or later. And currently my only option was _now_, seeing as the trip was tomorrow.

I knew why Paul would get upset. I practically had thought of what he'd say. I had landed on, "What the hell, Swan? A psychotic vampire is out to get you and you want to go shopping?"

Either that or, "Oh, whatever. Get yourself ripped to pieces. See if I care."

Those two possible lines from him were stuck in my head as if on spin-cycle. It was odd not to come home with Paul next to my side, but I had gotten a text from him just as I shut the door to the truck, _Pack meeting today. Embry is following you home. I'll be in your room. Don't freak out._

I idly wondered why he was just going to meet me in my room, but I didn't push it. A pack meeting was reason enough.

I opened the door to my room and immediately searched the room for Paul. I didn't have to look far. He was standing near the window, looking out at the woods beyond. Like this, he looked rather calm. It was a strange sight, but not an unwelcome one.

"Long time no see," I ventured as I shut the door.

He didn't turn around, only said, "I have expected you to freak out when you got here."

"You sent me a text."

"It'd be like you to forget."

I blushed, "Shut up."

That caused Paul to turn around, "Now that wouldn't be any fun, would it?"

He was smiling, an odd looking thing, his teeth white and perfect against his dark skin. I found myself staring for a moment, and then looked away. That wasn't a good thing to do - stare too long at him. I'd end up seeing something I liked…

"Angela asked me to go shopping with her tomorrow." I slipped off my shoes and placed them by my door. "I'm going."

"You do know that there is a vampire out there that wants to kill you, right?" he asked skeptically, as if he thought I was playing a very elaborate prank on him. "But, fine, get yourself ripped to shreds."

Hm, a combo of the two possibilities from earlier. Intriguing.

"At least you ran it by me, I guess," he said, running a hand along his hair. "Now we can get a couple wolves out patrolling the area."

"…we're going to Port Angeles."

"Not in wolf form, obviously." He looked at me like I was a particularly special kind of stupid. "Just a few. Probably me and Jake would do. We won't interfere with you and Angela's girly shit, so no worries. You probably won't even see us."

"You don't have to - "

"_Yes_, we _do_," he said. "No telling what would happen. That Riley guy had the nerve to show up at your school."

"But that was my _school_. This is a public place."

"Public places have parking lots, too, Swan."

I wrinkled my nose at him, feeling that he was right yet not wanting to believe it. I hated it when he was right. But I really wanted to get out and do something. It was selfish, I knew, but didn't I deserve to be just a tiny bit selfish? And besides, my wardrobe looked like it might just fall to threads if I washed it one more time.

"I supposed you could use a shopping trip," Paul cheekily remarked, glancing at where I had managed to pull both thumbs through the sleeves of my long-sleeved shirt. "Your clothes have more holes than Swiss cheese."

I rolled my eyes, "Bad joke."

"Would you say the joke was _cheesy_?" He winked overtly.

I burst out laughing, surprised at myself. "You're stupid."

* * *

I was glad that I was able to weasel myself into the shopping trip with Angela without much problem from the pack. Paul had talked to them about it after I had brought it up. Sam, surprisingly, had been for it.

"'You shouldn't not have a good time just because of this little problem,' is what he said," Paul relayed back to me as we drove to Angela's house. "I think Sam has a bit of a soft spot for you."

I felt my cheeks flush, remembering the night in the woods with painful clarity. I had remembered that night so many times that it seemed etched into my memory. I remembered hot arms around me, lifting me up, a muscular chest that I had all too welcomingly laid my head on. Sam had found me that night. Maybe that was the reason he wanted to try and make me comfortable. I felt a smile cross my lips.

"That's nice of him," I whispered as I turned onto Angela's drive.

"Yeah," Paul shrugged. "He's a good guy."

As soon as I parked, Paul jumped out of the car and bounded to the woods behind Angela's house, a blur heading off to La Push to meet Jake and Quil, then circling back to trail us. I hated tearing so many of them away from Sam and the rest of the pack, but he was fine with it. And I needed to learn how to have confidence in the wolf pack. They weren't incapable in the face of stony-hard vampire skin. "This was what we were made to do," rang through my mind in Jake's deep tones.

"I can always not go," I had offered, still feeling guilty that they had to plan all of this because of me. A normal girl could go to the mall without having bodyguards around her at all times. Though, I admit I didn't go to the mall often, I would have liked the option to browse the bookstore without having wandering eyes on me.

"You're going." Paul had pointed to my sleeves. "Seriously. Even I notice that you need some help - and that's bad. Because I'm a _guy_."

"Never would've guessed." I had looked down at my sleeves, paint smeared on them from a day I had gotten bored and decided to try my hand at art. I failed miserably, of course, unable to do anything that remotely resembled the woods I was looking at. But maybe that was because I was uninterested in the woods themselves and only in the memory that haunted me - the memory of being left there.

I watched as Paul disappeared in to the woods, leaving nothing that would have indicated that he was there in the first place. Sighing, I made my way up the steps to Angela's porch and rang the doorbell.

Angela answered in a matter of seconds, her light brown hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and her eyes kind as always. "Hey, Bella. Ready to go?"

Her voice was odd sounding, as if she was hiding something from me. I quirked a brow and shifted my weight to my other foot. "What is it, Ang?"

"Is Bella here yet?" an all too familiar voice called from inside the house. I groaned inwardly.

Angela moved her gaze to rest on me, her eyes apologetic. Though she would never say anything bad about a soul, she knew how I felt about Jessica Stanley. Well, it could be worse. She could have brought Lauren.

She explained quickly, "She just came over out of the blue," she said, "and when I told her I was going shopping, she insisted on coming…I'm sorry."

I shrugged in response, "No big deal." I rolled my shoulders. "The more the merrier, right?"

I could even hear the tone of sarcasm in my voice, but Angela just nodded, not able to say anything else because Jessica suddenly poked her head out the corner of the door, curly hair flying everywhere. "Bella! Let's get a move on!" She was smiling openly, but I found myself struggling to return it.

Angela grabbed her purse from a hook beside the door, secured her keys, and we were off.

The car ride over there was constantly punctuated with conversation. Most of it didn't involve me, but I found that I was included more often that I would have been had Lauren been in the car. It seemed like she brought out the worst in Jessica, but I didn't dwell too much on that. The day was to relax, a slight vacation from all the troubles that plagued me.

The hardest thing for me, on the way, was listening to music. I couldn't ask Angela to turn off the music in her own car. I couldn't request that of her, like I did with Jacob so often. Song after song after song played over the radio, and I found myself fighting against memories that were like shackles weighted against my limbs.

I inhaled the crisp, evening air as I emerged from the backseat, almost as if I was trying to take in fresh air to cleanse myself from all the loaded music lyrics.

We walked into the mall, and as we did so, I couldn't help but glance around, hoping for a glance of the wolves. I knew they were around here somewhere, either in wolf form or human form or transitioning somehow. They would be here, I knew it, but it felt odd to not be in the presence of them.

Jessica was talking about something or another as we made our way thought the automatic doors that led into the mall. I found myself thinking back at other things, things that I was trying so desperately to get out of my mind. Wasn't the whole point of this trip to help me with this? Well, plus the fact that I was beginning to look like a hobo…

I forced the thoughts from my mind - the ones that involved Edward and Jacob and Paul and Victoria… I had to. If I kept dwelling on it, I would most certainly go insane. If I wasn't already. It was kind of hard to tell, most days.

We ended up walking through the mall, chatting and window-shopping and sometimes we would actually end up going inside a store and trying things on. The mall in Port Angeles wasn't the largest I'd ever seen - that honor went to the one in Phoenix - but I wasn't really concerned. One less place for me to get lost, I suppose.

Angela explained to Jessica how I needed some new clothes, and she looked at me as if to say, "Duh." But, unlike her friend Lauren, she didn't feel the need to say that to my face. I found myself grateful for Jessica's restraint. That was the last thing I needed today.

The stores we went into were almost empty. The whole mall was surprisingly empty for a weekend. I was able to find several tops on sale, which I was grateful for. I wasn't too keen on spending all of my savings on clothes - there were several new books out that I wanted to get as well.

I had been doing okay throughout the whole time, looking at clothes and trying things on. Even Jessica started to warm up, seeing that my zombie time looked to be officially over. I knew that Jessica wasn't intermittently a bad person, it was just certain people that brought that out in her.

The only thing that brought back the throbbing in my chest was, strangely enough, a soft blue cardigan. The material was smooth and warm in my hands, and then I heard it. Just a whispering, edging memory on the fringes of my mind.

"_I like how that color looks on your skin."_

Edward's former words had punched through the hole, ripping the edges ragged at the same time. I found myself gasping, throwing the cardigan back into the bin as if it were a venomous snake.

Jessica looked at me oddly, "That would have looked good on you, Bella."

I turned to face her. Her eyes were strangely concerned, as if knowing why I had thrown the cardigan back. It was odd seeing Jessica so observant. Maybe she was benefiting from hanging out with Angela so much. I know I would have liked to see her more Angela-like than another one of Lauren's lackeys.

"Erm…you think so?" I asked her, slightly surprised.

Jessica nodded, "Yeah. I remember that blue was always your color and now…well, you don't really wear it as much as you used to."

Another sharp jab to the hole Edward made. I could hear the hidden meaning to her words. She was practically saying, _"After Edward left, it's been rare for you to wear blue." _But I supposed that Jessica had a bit more tact than that, for which I was grateful.

I bit my lip, staring at the crumpled blue fabric in the bin before picking it up again. I shouldn't be scared of it. I shouldn't be scared of wearing a _color_ just because it reminded me of my time with him. Just like I shouldn't be frightened of listening to music just because the lyrics reminded me of both Edward _and _Jacob in a bizarre way.

"Yeah…you're right." I said, and took the cardigan - and other items - into the dressing room to try on.

It was the little things, I supposed, that would end up building up over time and allowing me to fully heal.

After shopping for longer than I ever had in my life, we decided to eat in the food court. The food there was cheaper had we gone to the little Italian place across town. I was grateful that we didn't. I might have been able to buy that blue cardigan earlier - it had looked pretty decent on me - but I wasn't sure I could handle going into the same Italian place where Edward and I had our first encounter outside of school.

I sighed, my feet aching, as I put my bags down and lowered myself into one of the dinky plastic chairs, plopping the McDonald's bag in front of me. I was looking forward to eating my greasy, unhealthy double cheeseburger with reckless abandon, excited to chow down on the fries and _maybe _go back up there for seconds. Just because I could.

Angela had settled on getting a box of Chinese food from one side of the food court, while Jessica had gotten a salad and a serving of pasta from the little Greek place. I didn't care that my food choice was as unhealthy as eating fried mayonnaise. This was a day of relaxation for me, and that included being able to bite into something that could lead up to a heart attack later on down the line.

Jessica started talking about a new episode of some teen drama that I didn't watch, but Angela seemed to be well-versed on that matter. I listened, though, to what they had to say about it, and actually found myself wanting to watch it. I hadn't wanted to watch television in the longest time - not to mention a teen drama whose main focus was romance.

I found myself looking around for any sign of the wolves. I hadn't seen them the whole time I had been shopping, and neither did Angela or Jess. I knew the latter was a good thing, but I still felt kind of exposed. It wasn't like Victoria didn't have enough power to kill everyone in the mall and then some, and if Riley was on her side, then…

Well, I didn't want to dwell on that.

I shook my head a bit, and then rose from my seat.

"I'm going to the restroom," I told them. "Watch my stuff, please?"

Jess and Angela both nodded, and I departed, adjusting my small purse on my shoulder as I went. I suddenly felt slightly nervous. Not that separating myself from the group would have any effect on whether or not Victoria attacked me, it was still enough to make me queasy, thinking of the red-haired vampire quickly snapping my neck.

But, then again, if Laurent was to be believed, my death would not be quick if Victoria had any say in the matter.

I had just entered the small corridor that led down to both bathrooms when it happened.

A hot hand pressed across my arm. I started to protest, but then looked up and saw Paul's face, worried and anxious. I was immediately taken aback. Openly showing concern like this was not in his nature. Though I felt a nudge in my chest, a light skipping of my heart as I finally saw him again, I knew that this was not anything to be relieved about. The set of Paul's mouth and the tenseness of his shoulders revealed that much.

"P-Paul…?" I started, my voice wavering, "What's wrong - "

"We have to leave," he said. His hand was painfully tight, fingers almost overlapping the top of my arm.

"What…wh-why?"

"There's been an accident."

* * *

_**End Chapter Sixteen.**_


	17. Lycanthrope

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for the responses for this fic. I really appreciate that everyone is enjoying this so far and I really hope that y'all enjoy this chapter. Thanks so much for keeping up with this little fic of mine!  
_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Seventeen: Lycanthrope**

* * *

Millions of possibilities flashed through my mind.

Victoria, mostly. Victoria killing Charlie, Victoria killing the wolves, Victoria slaughtering half the mall and heading her way here. I was absorbed in images of a blood-spattered vampire, gloriously glowing with the thrill of killing as she made her way to her true target - me.

I was so consumed by my own fears that I barely heard what Paul was saying. He looked frustrated at me, doubting that I was listening, and snarled the statement yet again while dropping his fingers from my arm.

"Harry Clearwater's had a heart attack."

I paused, feeling ice in my veins, "Leah and Seth's dad?"

He nodded.

"Is he okay?"

"Not looking good," he admitted grimly. I could see how shaken up he was about this. I knew that he cared for Leah, despite the fact that he was as rough a guy as they come. I knew that he had, possibly, been in love with her prior to the imprint that bonded her to Jake. I felt the urge to reach out and wrap my hand around his, but suppressed it. Somehow, I felt that wouldn't have gone over well.

"It's not good. None of it is."

This had me pause, "None of it? What exactly happened, Paul?"

"You need to come with me." His fists were shaking. "We can't leave you here. And we have to be there for our pack."

The use of the term "our pack" confused me. I had thought that term was only used for the wolves, but maybe I was wrong. It could possibly be used for any family member…or maybe the pack included imprints as well? I was slightly confused, but Paul was suddenly insistent, his eyes almost crazed.

"We had Quil bring his car, just in case something happened," he continued. "So you don't have to worry about using one of us as your transportation."

The last sentence was supposed to be a joke, but it came out bitter and unconcerned about what I thought. His mind was fully on Leah now, and her brother, and her father, and just how much she must be hurting now. Funny, how I'd never thought Paul was still suffering. I had just assumed that he had been over her. He was just so strong that I thought that nothing phased him like this…

It was something I admired about him - I still did. But maybe somehow, I admired his ability to still care so deeply for her without it affecting his day-to-day life.

But this wasn't the time for that.

"Okay," I told him. "I'll go tell Angela and Jess what's going on."

"Hurry." The word was curt, an order, one that I didn't have the willpower to deny.

I did. I quickly made it back to my friends and told them the deal, leaving out the fact that Paul and two of his friends had been watching over us the whole time to keep us safe from a crazed vampire. They looked sympathetic, even Jessica, and I reminded myself idly that I needed to get her away from Lauren more often. She seemed more civil when not underneath her thumb.

I met Paul in the corridor leading to the bathrooms, "Ready."

He only nodded curtly and led me out into the parking lot, where Quil was waiting with the car. I noticed that Jake was absent. Of course he was. His imprint was going through a tough time now, and obviously needed him. With no envious or sad thoughts for myself whatsoever, I climbed in the car, feeling only sympathy and sorrow for Leah and Seth's situation. I put myself in their shoes for a moment, imagining Charlie in such a state, and immediately I got a frog in my throat.

Paul let me get into the front seat alongside Quil, who was driving. He then got stealthily in the back, obviously hating that he had to stay human for this part.

"You can phase and hurry over to her," I blurted. "I don't mind."

"My presence isn't going to change anything," he replied. "She's confused and scared and only Jake can help with that."

I found myself unable to look away from him. His words were brutal and honest, something that I'd learned to expect from him when he regarded me, but not when he was talking about himself.

"But you _want _to be there." I craned my head so I could get a better look at him, sitting in the back seat and looking out the window as if he could melt the glass with his gaze.

As soon as the words left my mouth, he turned his gaze on me, equally as hot, "You have _no idea _what I want."

I felt my eyes widen a bit. Somehow the words didn't fit. It was almost like he was talking about something else, something other than the situation at hand. This piece of Paul was raw and exposed, like nerve endings in an open wound. I was used to Paul being harsh, but his words were strange, ones of which I couldn't decipher the meaning.

"I'm just trying to help." I said, stubbornly.

"There are some things," he said, softly this time, "that even you can't help me with."

I paused, wondering about the meaning of his words. Those words were so different in comparison to his earlier, snappish comments. My chest tightened with those words ringing in my head, and I couldn't stop thinking of what he might have meant.

"Did Paul even tell you what happened?" Quil spoke up for the first time since we'd left the mall. I turned in his direction.

"Harry Clearwater had a heart attack and isn't doing good."

Quil stared at me for a good moment, his eyes looking slightly confused, and then he stomped on the brake when a chilling, piercing howl cut through the oncoming night. I felt goosebumps raise on my flesh. That couldn't have been good.

Paul took in a deep breath. When he spoke, his voice was shakier than usual, cracking in odd places, "Harry's gone."

Quil pounded the steering wheel in frustration, and I felt tears prick my eyes. I hadn't known Harry Clearwater well, but I had met him enough times when Charlie brought his fishing buddies home from a day out. The sadness around me was palpable, and it had a definite effect on my mood. A few tears slipped from my eyes despite myself, and I wiped them away hastily.

Quil spoke solemnly, "You should tell Bella the other half of the situation."

Paul was silent for a moment before saying, "Leah and Seth were the cause of it."

I paused, all my muscles tense like a bowstring. I turned around to face him, slowly, my face a mask of shock. How could that even be possible? Leah and Seth loved their father. Though I hadn't been able to really meet Seth, I'd seen him around his father several times, and Leah was always telling Emily about how silly her father was. Those remarks were always kind ones, little insults that showed someone just how much she cared about her father.

Paul scoffed at my face, and then said, "They _phased_, Bella. Right in front of him."

I paused, letting the information sink in. The words seemed to not fit correctly in my brain. Leah and Seth? _Phased_? How was that even possible? I wasn't sure about all the other things, but I didn't even know it was possible for a woman to phase. Yet alone Seth, who was still so young.

"How did that…" I trailed off.

"We're not sure yet." Paul was looking out the window again. "Leah and Seth are too traumatized by what has happened to say anything. Leah at least knows what is going on, but Seth has no idea what has happened to him."

We turned onto the road leading to the Clearwaters' residence. I could instantly hear the howling and snarling coming from the surrounding woods. But at the looks on Paul and Quil's faces, I saw that they had been hearing the sounds for miles. I inhaled shakily. "What can I do?"

Paul looked sharply at me, "Nothing."

"I'm coming, too," I said as Quil got out of the car. I unhooked my seatbelt and started to follow.

"Why?" Paul snapped.

I set my shoulders and stared at him, "I consider Leah a friend." I said, though I probably used that term lightly. I felt like she had an understanding for my situation, and she had expressed true regret at the diner incident. I was willing to let the past be the past because Leah really was a good person who was put in several abnormal situations. This included.

Paul looked at me solidly for a moment. Quil had already phased and jumped into the bushes. "She's scared, like you said," I told him. "And don't you think another female presence would help? She's surrounded by _guys_."

Paul grimaced a smile at my last sentence, particularly at the way I said the word _guys_. He nodded curtly, lifting his guard back up, "Stay close to me."

I looked at him curiously for a moment, letting the words sink in and hating myself for the traitorous beat my heart missed. I nodded.

I didn't expect what happened next. He lunged forward and knocked my knees out from under me, cradling them against the crook of one arm and my neck and shoulders against the other. I gasped at the sudden contact, shocked and awed at his speed as well as the utter gracefulness and care that he held me with. I looked up at him, seeing that he was staring straight ahead. He was so tall that I felt I was so much further from the ground than I was, and the heat that consumed me was almost unbearable.

He looked down at me, "What? You didn't think I was going to let you ride me like a horse, huh?"

My cheeks heated impossibly at that, my heart rate increased, and I started wringing my hands.

He shook his head and said, as if to himself, "Right. Humor isn't a good coping mechanism."

Paul then launched himself into the woods. The blurring of the trees around me was so drastic and jarring that I was immediately taken back to the days of riding piggyback on Edward as he ran, laughing, through the woods. I remembered all those days as if they were yesterday. The hole throbbed a bit, but I had other worries, more current and pressing ones.

As Paul ran through the woods to their meeting place, I had the presence of mind to truly think. I thought of the campfire, in which I had a good time - Kim's odd questioning aside - and when I saw Leah punch Jacob. That should have been a first clue that she was getting stronger. When she made Jacob wince just from a playful punch like that. Hadn't she been growing taller a bit, too? How had I not put two and two together?

I was lost in my thoughts, which were flimsy at best due to the circumstances. I couldn't help but be fully aware of how hot Paul's body was, how his breath was coming out in even and paced repetitions, how he gripped me just a bit too tightly - but that wasn't something I was complaining about. It felt nice, I was not-so-surprised to admit.

He was liquid in his movements, his feet gliding over the rough surface of the ground, dodging fallen tree branches and creeping roots, missing random rocks and upturned stumps. All the while, he held onto me as if I were some kind of precious cargo, something that I felt…_proud _of.

I tried not to think about that too much. I had to focus on helping Leah in whatever way I could. I wasn't sure where my sudden bout of selflessness came from, but I knew that Leah had truly tried to be nice to me, to be my friend. Though she hadn't truly helped me like Paul somehow had, she was one of the people that I thought of when I imagined what I wanted to be like. Strong, beautiful, unshakable.

That last adjective might not apply to her right now, though.

Paul took us into a clearing where all the wolves were gathered. Two wolves were wailing in ear-piercing, chill-inducing howls. I was able to make out a wolf smaller than the others, leaner, the color of slate with longer fur than normal, and a wolf sandy in color, with paws that seemed too large for his thin, lanky frame. Somehow, I knew the latter one was Seth.

As soon as they saw me, there was a slight rumble in the crowd, as if they didn't expect me to be there. The large black wolf - the one I knew to be Sam - growled at me.

"She's fine," Paul said. "She thought she could help."

Paul then turned to me, "It makes him uneasy, this whole situation. He doesn't like having a human around all these volatile wolves."

I wondered for a moment how Paul could understand Sam's words, even when in two different forms, but sometimes, I figured that you didn't really have to be the same species to understand one another. I nodded my head, "I'll keep my distance, Sam. Thank you."

Sam let out another growl, low, as if consenting. He then jerked his head in Paul's direction. Paul nodded and jumped into a throng of bushes and trees, invisible to everyone while he phased. A deep gray wolf came out in his place and took a spot beside me, hackles raised in challenge, eyes dark and daring anyone to come close. I felt a spot of warmth build in my chest at his protectiveness, though I knew he was only doing his duty. There was nothing else there. There couldn't be.

There was a cacophony of howling then, though I noticed that it had become instantly quieter when Paul and I had arrived.

I looked over at Paul, suddenly feeling a jolt of pity for him. Jake had told me once that the pack mind was something that everyone was a part of. No one could hide their thoughts from any one member in the pack. And that meant that Paul's feelings for Leah were striking her full force. That meant that Leah's pain over losing Sam was hitting him. That meant that Paul could feel Leah's feelings for Jake now, could feel everything she had ever thought of him, and vice versa.

There were obvious perks to being supernatural, but I doubted that sharing every thought you ever had was one of them.

Howling started, and I wondered what they were talking about. For once, I wondered what it would be like to be a part of the pack. It was strange, having a daydream about being a werewolf and not their enemy.

Leah stepped forward, her hackles not as raised as they had been before. Seth followed, slightly shy compared to her. He kept his nose to the ground, still not sure what was going on. I heard Sam growl at the both of them, and Leah turned her head to snap at him. Paul maneuvered himself in front of me, as if becoming a shield. I knew my hands were shaking, but I tried to force it away.

The large russet wolf - I hadn't noticed that he was almost as large as Sam now - that I knew as Jacob, stepped close to Leah. She looked at him with something akin to insult. She pulled her muzzle back, revealing teeth. Seth whimpered in response.

The wolves I remembered to be Quil and Embry looked at the two newer wolves with wonder. The last wolf, the one that must be Jared, moved closer to Sam to flank him. It looked as if they were mounting an attack in case anything went wrong.

Leah looked at me, her eyes sorrowful and sad even in her wolfish face. Seth finally raised his head and moved closer to me. I wondered what drew Seth in this direction.

Leah started rumbling growls directed toward me and Paul. It was strange, how they almost sounded like words. She seemed to be very distraught, very sad. I couldn't even imagine what she was going through at this moment. Seth whimpered at her side, looking at me as if I were something like a sight for sore eyes. I figured that I was helping, even just a little bit, by being human. The only human in a pack of wolves, something they could see as normal in the bizarreness of this situation.

Paul shifted beside me, just so I could feel the solidness of his side, could feel the heat emanating off of his body. The soft fur of his coat bristled against my cheek and neck.

Leah sat down, and everyone relaxed. Seth came closer still, looking at me with a sadness that I couldn't comprehend. I knew what they wanted - human comfort. In a time when they had just been indirectly responsible for their own father's death, they wanted human arms around them. It didn't matter if it was me or if it was Emily. They just needed human contact in this strange, supernatural world.

I stepped forward, Paul shadowing my steps. All of the wolves looked tensed, as ready as I'd ever seen them. They knew the potential danger of this situation. They knew I could end up like Emily - or worse.

I turned around and smiled at Paul before reaching out to stroke Seth's muzzle with my hand. He tensed at first, but relaxed, leaning his massive head into my palm. My fingers stroked his fur, feeling the soft, sandy hair as it brushed gently against my skin. He whimpered just a bit, closing his eyes and then lying down at my feet.

Leah was a bit more stubborn, not wanting to be touched at all, but she kept her eyes on me, as if trying to see if she could make out any bit of deception in my eyes. But I knew there would be none of that. She moved so that she was lying down, calmer than before, but still having that edge of hurt around her.

I could almost feel how scared they were. It was like a static charge in the air, causing the hairs on my arms to stand up. Seth managed to move to lay down, just like his sister had before him, calmed just by the touch of a human hand. I found myself lowering to the ground with him, crouching to keep the contact of my hand against his fur. He whined in what I thought was appreciation.

Everything was calm, for once. The only emotion in the air was sadness, which was something so strong I felt it in my core.

I was so distracted by stroking the fur over Seth's brow that I almost jumped when I felt a cold, wet nose pressed into my side. I kept on scratching Seth's head, and then finally turned to see that Paul was looking at me with something I didn't even know he was capable of expressing - especially in regards to myself.

Paul, his large and liquid eyes glowing in his face, was looking at me with _gratitude_.

Somehow, knowing that Paul was grateful of what I was doing made be feel a sense of accomplishment like no other, like I truly _could _make a difference. Even if I was human while doing so.

* * *

_**End Chapter Seventeen.**_


	18. Debt

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Aw, thanks so much for the positive responses for the last chapter. I was glad that y'all enjoyed reading it. It was one of my more favorite chapters to write so far. Updates might be coming slower and all, due to school work and everything else, but I promise to update when I get the chance. I'm trying to pace myself with this fic as well. Anyway, here's the latest chapter, and I hope you enjoy this as well! Thanks for reading!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Eighteen: Debt**

* * *

The ride home was strangely silent.

I drove, and Paul sat solemnly in the passengers' seat. I knew that he would rather be anywhere else than there right now, but Sam had put his foot down. I was still a priority, no matter what had transpired that day. I hated that fact. I knew that Paul would rather be with his pack than babysitting me. The feeling of being cumbersome settled over me, yet again, like a lead weight.

"I know you don't want to be here," I told him as we turned into my driveway. "You can go to your pack. They need you right now. I think I'll be fine for one night."

Paul stared at me out the corner of his eye. The night around us was impossibly black, but I could still seem to make out the intensity of his gaze, "No."

I put the truck in park, "And why not?"

Paul scoffed, and I could tell by his tone that he thought I was being particularly stupid. "This is exactly what that bloodsucker is waiting for. An opportunity when you're alone. And this is a prime one. One that she would gladly take if you were to be by yourself for even a moment."

I couldn't ignore the chill that went down my spine.

"So. _That's _why not." He crossed his arms, his words final.

I looked at him, wishing for once that he would tell me what he was thinking. Usually, he had no problem dispelling his thoughts - well, at least, the ones that were about me. He never opened up about himself, but I didn't blame him. Why open up to the vampire loving girl with a target the size of Texas on her back?

I nodded at him, not wanting to say anything else, especially not the fact that the way he was staring at me was making me increasingly nervous.

He seemed to realize that at the last moment and tore his gaze from mine. I felt my heart racing traitorously, hating myself. This was not what was supposed to be happening. My heart should not be able to beat like this anymore - and it should _not _be for Paul.

I unbuckled my seat belt and rolled out of the cab of my truck. I didn't even hear Paul get out of the truck, but when I turned around he was on the porch. He looked at me for a moment, judging that Charlie was inside and breathing, before running around the side of the house to jump into my window, no doubt.

I inhaled shakily and stepped through the door, only to be faced with a red-eyed Charlie.

I hated seeing him like that. He looked so sad and so broken. Harry had been one of his best friends, and he had just lost him so quickly, for reasons that he could never understand or comprehend.

"Hi, Bells." His voice was rough from crying.

"Hey, Dad," I replied lamely. "Are you okay?"

Charlie looked at me for a moment, as if surprised, and then said, "Harry…"

I nodded at him, "Paul told me."

"Paul…" Charlie trailed off. He looked like he wasn't even thinking about what I was saying, though I was kind of nervous when he picked up on my bodyguard's name. "He's a good guy."

Somehow, hearing Charlie say that about Paul made my stomach twist unnaturally. It was an odd feeling, one that I hadn't had in so long… I wasn't sure what to say to that, but I did what I could. I pushed by the awkwardness about closeness that he and I shared and threw my arms gawkily over his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Dad."

Charlie didn't seem to mind my impromptu embrace. He leaned his head against my forearm and sighed. I felt the breath exhale over my skin.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him as I pulled away. "I could fix you something."

"Would you…ah…mind?" Charlie said, and at that moment his stomach chose to growl. He looked up at me sheepishly, and I was surprised how vulnerable my father was at this moment. I decided I didn't like it. I couldn't ever see him in this much pain again. It was…unnatural. I had to do whatever I could to protect him.

I rose from my crouched position beside him and said, "Would you like anything in particular?"

Charlie looked at me and for the first time that night, a kind smile spread across his tired features, "Just make it good. That won't be a stretch for you, Bells."

I felt my cheeks flush as I nodded and turned to head into the kitchen.

I decided to make fried chicken. Not a completely difficult dish to make, and it was something I found comforting. I put some biscuits in the oven and brought out a package of macaroni and cheese.

While I was frying the chicken, I heard Charlie shuffle into the kitchen and sit down at the table. He said nothing, as was per usual. He did go and get himself a glass of water and down it in a few gulps before refilling it and repeating the process. I tried to work as quickly as I could, so that Charlie could eat. He looked as if he hadn't had a bite to eat all day and that made me feel guilty.

The phone rang.

It was enough to make me jump a bit. I flipped over a piece of chicken with my fork before leaning across the counter to retrieve the phone that rested against the wall. I leaned it against my ear and said, "Hello?"

"Bella, hey," Angela's familiar voice echoed over the phone.

Somehow, this soothed me. "Hey, Ang. What's up?"

I heard her chuckle lightly, a bitter and odd sound even for her. "I was just checking in on you. Seeing if everything was alright."

I felt a smile crease my face. "Thanks. I'm just cooking supper for Charlie. Everything's…well…"

Angela let out a little exhale of breath, "Do you need anything? I can make brownies or something…"

I laughed at that - strange, considering all that had conspired today, "That's very nice of you, Angela. But - ah - it's okay. You don't have to trouble yourself."

"Could I bring it over, anyway? Maybe tomorrow?"

Tomorrow was Sunday. That could work, I guess. At least I'd have some company over the weekend instead of Paul. Not that he wasn't good company - well, _good_ was a stretch. He was company, at least. Someone that I didn't have to hide from. Someone that didn't hide what he was thinking about me, good or bad.

"Er…yeah…" I said. "But, um, Paul will probably be here, if you don't mind that."

I could practically see her smiling over the phone. She wasn't like Jessica about the gossip. Her smile meant that she was happy that I was at least hanging out with people - even if they were very tall and very muscular and very attractive. Angela wouldn't go spreading it around school that they were my new boy toy, something of which I was endlessly grateful for.

"No, of course not," she replied. "I won't stay long, though. I know that this is hard for you two."

"Yeah," I said. "But I'm glad that you are just checking up. I appreciate the thought." I flipped over another piece of chicken and put in on a paper towel I had laid on a plate before.

"No problem, Bella," she said kindly. "I'm your friend. So if you need anything, just call."

The notion made me smile. I hadn't felt truly like someone was my friend in a long time.

"Thanks, Angela." I said. "I'll talk to you then."

"Bye, Bella."

I hung up the phone and went back to cooking the chicken. I was able to finish several pieces of the meat and take care of the macaroni and finish cooking the biscuits while Charlie chugged another glass of water and sat there. Usually, the silence in our household was a comfortable thing, punctured with a random bit of conversation here or there. But now everything was beyond uncomfortable. A lingering sense of sadness fell over the room. Not that I expected anything less.

I fixed Charlie his food and placed the plate in front of him before grabbing my own plate. I put some food on it but found myself unable to eat. I wasn't sure why. My stomach felt unsettled, but I tried my hardest to at least eat something. I failed, to say the least.

Charlie scarfed everything down. I supposed he wanted the distraction of a piping hot meal. It didn't seem to be looking, for his eyes were miles away.

We ate in silence.

After a while, Charlie got done with his food and rose to put his dishes in the sink. I smiled and moved over to rinse off the dishes.

"I think I'm gonna turn in early, Bells." He kissed the top of my head. "Sleep good."

"Thanks," I replied. "You too."

I waited until I heard his bedroom door close before I got a paper plate from the cabinet and moved to pile up the rest of the chicken onto it before putting macaroni and two biscuits on it. The thing almost buckled under the weight, but I figured the food wouldn't be on there long enough for it to matter anyway.

Turning off all the lights and locking the door, I then made my way up the stairs and to my room. I opened the door and looked around, finding that Paul was standing by the window, a common sight. He was looking out the window, fingers pressed to the glass, making it fog because of his increased body heat.

"Paul…?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice rough. "What is it?"

"I…ah…brought you something."

Paul waited a moment - a moment that felt longer than it actually was - and turned around. His face was hard and impassive, his eyebrows pulled together in thought, his mouth tense. He looked at me a moment before looking down at the massive amount of food I held in front of me.

Strangely, impossibly, a smile stole over his face, like the sun peeking from behind a cloud. It was bitter and tinged with something I couldn't identify, but it was a welcome sight nonetheless.

"_Holy shit_," he breathed, shaking his head as he crossed his arms. "The hell did you do while I was up here?"

I shrugged, "Cooked. I, um, Charlie looked like he needed something, but he didn't eat much. And I cooked more than was enough for two people…I don't think he noticed."

Paul was still shaking his head. His dark eyes moved up to meet mine, "You're…" he trailed off.

I felt my cheeks flush as he kept his eyes on me a bit too long. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, but for some reason, I didn't want to hear it. It frightened me that he might have been going to give me a compliment, in his own, odd way. Something about the moment we shared was too intimate, something more complex than anything else I'd felt.

He finally moved his eyes away from mine and focused on the food in my hands, almost too much. He scratched the back of his head, "Is that all for me?"

I snorted, "Well, _I'm _not hungry."

"Did you even eat?"

"…not really…"

Paul scoffed at that, "Well, shit, if _you _aren't going to eat all that food…"

"That's what I brought it in here for, genius."

Paul rolled his shoulders and looked like I'd agitated him, "Just trying not to look like I'm mooching off of anyone."

I sat the plate of still steaming food on my desk, right by my ancient computer. He stared at it for a moment, almost as if in longing, before heading over to it. I teased, "Since when do you care about that?"

Chicken in his mouth, he looked down at me. He chewed for a moment and then swallowed, before addressing me, "I don't want to owe you."

It wasn't a sharp retort, nothing insulting about it. He was just stating a fact, as honest as anything I'd ever been privy to. I felt a blush coat my cheeks, a reaction that I still hadn't been able to grow out of. I didn't think I ever would. My mind was whirling at his words. He didn't want to owe me. _Didn't want to owe __**me**__? _The whole idea was ludicrous. That he could actually _owe _me anything that could match up to what I…

I didn't realize I had opened my mouth until the words broke the air, "I'm the one that owes you more than I can ever repay…"

Paul paused, his hand over the fork that I had brought along with the macaroni. He let his hand drop to his side before he looked at me. There was a certain kind of…unguarded feel to him at that moment that I couldn't really place. He looked to be thinking, searching for words that I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to hear, before running a hand through his messy hair and giving a light growl, something that sounded both wolfish and human at the same time - and all strangely _vulnerable_.

"Don't say that," he said, his voice raw and almost painful to listen to. "You don't owe me anything."

The words came pouring forth, against my own volition. I hated it, but the word vomit kept coming, "Don't _discredit _yourself."

Paul looked like he was going to respond, except I cut him off by raising a finger.

"I…you…" I struggled for the words, trying to put them in the right order, they seemed to be tangled around one another, clogging my throat. "You might not think much of me, but…you've _helped _me. More than you know. I know you probably think of me like some kind of leech loving, pathetic girl, but…what you don't see is that you've helped me in these few weeks…so much. I…I…"

Paul raised his hand this time, "Stop. Bella, listen to me. Just…don't think you owe me anything. Debts and their debtors…let's just both stop with all that. Agreed?"

I watched him as he picked up a biscuit, let it hover over his nose for a moment before smelling it, and then taking a bite. He closed his eyes sighed through his nose. I watched, slightly enraptured, as he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"You really can cook, you know." He picked up the plate with one hand, balancing it easier than I had with two, and walked to the rocking chair, where he sat down and started rocking before digging into the mountain of macaroni.

I blushed, unused to open compliments from anyone - especially Paul. "Er…thanks…"

He appraised me for a moment and then sighed, placing the plate of food at his feet before picking up a chicken leg and throwing, casually and underhanded, it at me. Defying all odds, I caught it, the grease coating my fingers and my hands and my shirt and I braced it against my body to actually complete the catch.

"Eat."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off, "And don't say you're not hungry. You haven't eaten all day."

He watched me like a hawk until I actually put the chicken to my lips and took a bite. Paul smirked at that, in that irritating, self-satisfied way that he practically patented. I paused, and he made a shooing motion as if to say, "Go ahead, you skinny bitch."

I rolled my eyes and ate the rest of the chicken leg without protest. He watched me finish and then tossed me a wing. I sighed and tucked into that, too. I hated to admit, but I was hungry.

Soon, we ended up sitting on the floor with the large plate of food between us. Paul had just finished the macaroni and threw a biscuit that hit me in the head. I started laughing, and he joined in.

We looked at each other then, our eyes meeting. A quiet stole over the room as we realized that we were laughing in the wake of a tragedy. But maybe that was okay…maybe that was what we needed. He stared at me for a moment, as if ashamed at laughing, and then looked down at his hands, folded around each other. There was only one piece of chicken left, and he slid the paper plate over to me, the Styrofoam bumping against my leg as it came to a stop.

There was a brief moment in which I stared at it before picking it up, and that was the moment that Paul took to say the very phrase I would never have expected of him.

Rough and unwarranted, he said, "Thanks for this, Bella."

I gave him a smile, trying to ignore the chill bumps moving over my arms. "No problem."

Because, in all honesty? It wasn't a problem at all - to want to help him, to want to make him feel better, to laugh with him and try to cheer him up in the aftermath of a tragedy that had rocked us all…

It was something I _wanted _to do.

Frankly, that scared me as much as it excited me.

* * *

_**End Chapter Eighteen.**_


	19. Guests

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for your reviews for the last chapter! I really appreciate them! I'm so glad that everyone is still keeping up with this story and is still enjoying it! I hope that y'all like this chapter as well. Not sure what else to say except…well, thank you for reading!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Nineteen: Guests**

* * *

I escaped into my dreams.

Filled with red eyes and howling, this new dream frightened me more than usual. The howling itself sounded sorrowful, and I wasn't sure what to make of it. I was in a space in which I couldn't escape, tied up and bound and gagged, with no other person that could help me. The darkness overtook everything - I couldn't even make out my own nose in front of my face.

As I was locked up wherever I was, I could only see a pair of eyes staring down at me, hateful and vengeful and so wanting my blood to spill.

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. The gag over my mouth was too strong.

At some point, the eyes started getting closer and the darkness started to lighten. I was faced with the one who craved my death, the one who was adamant in what she wanted, always, and that certainly wasn't going to change now.

The howling intensified as she approached me, as if wanting to stop whatever was going to happen, but unable to. The howls became snarls of anger, ripping through the darkness and settling deep in my bones, giving me chills.

Soon, I was able to see the figure's face, so inhumanly beautiful and framed by a tangle of red hair. Of course, it couldn't be anyone _but _her. If I had ever thought otherwise, I was fooling myself.

The snarls became a cacophony, drowning out whatever she was saying - her lips moved and yet I could hear no sound. I struggled in my bonds, wanting to go to the sound of the howling, wanting to embrace whatever it was that wanted to save me so. I couldn't move, though, the bonds were too strong, there was nothing else I could do but wait.

In slow movements, Victoria descended on me, laughing maniacally as she sank her teeth into my neck.

As the blood began to flow and I started to feel my life leave me, I thought one name, and that name shocked me almost as much as my own death.

_Paul._

I jolted out of my nightmare, panting and grabbing at my chest before moving my hands to touch my neck. I felt for the tell-tale bite mark, the row of punctures that resembled the wickedest of teeth, and sighed in relief when I found none. My throat was unmarred by Victoria's assault, as if nothing happened.

Which it hadn't, of course.

I blinked a few times, wondering where exactly I was. It was an odd sensation, knowing that I was in my bed but yet not believing it. I felt a scorching hot hand on my shoulder and jumped, almost banging my head against the person near me.

My eyes met with those of the werewolf assigned to me.

"You okay?" His eyes were strangely concerned. "You called my name."

"I…" My head was foggy. "I did?"

I remembered _thinking _his name in my dream, but I didn't remember _saying _it. But then again…

"I talked in my sleep, didn't I?" I felt a blush coat my cheeks with that realization just as Paul started to nod as he put the pieces together. What all had Paul heard, other than his name?

"Yeah," he said, his voice strangely rough. "Yeah."

I looked down at my hands only to realize that they were trembling. I pretended to be fascinated by them, by the long fingers and the pale flesh of the backs of my hands, but in reality, I was slightly - okay, more than slightly - mortified. I inhaled several shaky breaths before daring to look at Paul again.

His demeanor had changed completely. Before he had seemed worried, oddly so, and now he looked almost smug. _Playful_, even.

"I should be flattered, I guess," he started, "that the great Bella Swan was having a dream about _me_ of all people."

My cheeks were on fire and my voice trembled when I spoke, which probably didn't help my case at all, "I…ah…you…"

Paul rose from his position kneeling at my bedside. I hadn't realized that we had been so close until then. The smile on his face was equally jarring, and I found that I couldn't look away.

"Just kidding," he said, smiling as he lightly punched my shoulder. As if I were a kid. Which I found that I wasn't a fan of, for some reason.

"Victoria killed me," I blurted out. "I was…thinking I wanted you near…and you were howling…"

Paul had paused as soon as the first words were out of my mouth. The set of his body was almost frightening in its tautness, like an arrow ready to be fired out of a bow. He stared down at me with dark, fathomless eyes, and for a moment he did nothing. I was surprised at his reaction, that he didn't just laugh it off like everything else, but I guessed it was my tone that got him. I supposed that I was more shaken up by the dream than I had admitted to myself.

There was a moment of silence that felt like it was slicing through my skin.

"That," he said, his words clipped and curt, "is _not _going to happen."

The intensity of his words brought chills down my spine.

I felt the traitorous blood rise to my cheeks.

I spoke the only words that I could, the only ones that made any sense.

"Thank you."

* * *

While waiting for Angela's impending arrival, I started to clean up around the house. Charlie was long gone to help with the funeral arrangements. He called the station and got out of going to work today, and I knew he was grateful for that, at least. Paul was able to roam freely about the house because of my father's absence, and somehow that felt comforting to me.

Paul was currently eating the breakfast I had fixed for him - the pile of eggs and the massive bowl of grits didn't stay separate for long, he quickly poured the grits all over the eggs and then added cheese and God knows what else. He looked to be enjoying himself, for which I was grateful. If I had to tear him away from his pack, his family, at a time of great need, I'd at least hoped to compensate for it by making him feel somewhat comfortable.

But, if he didn't feel comfortable now, after all the time he had spent with me, he probably wasn't ever going to be able to feel that way.

I ignored that thought, deeming it as a falsity, anyway. The Paul I knew was as comfortable as anyone, surprisingly, around me. I supposed that he would feel less-comfortable, being in the presence of a known leech-lover and all, but that didn't seem to bother him at all.

Though, there were moments when I would look in his eyes, when I would catch him staring at me, and they would be some of the most…strangely intense moments of my life. I wasn't sure _how_, but that was what it felt like. Almost as if he was trying to figure me out.

I think he had succeeded better than anyone else in that matter.

I flitted around the house, cleaning here and there. Wouldn't want Angela to think that I had totally been neglecting my Charlie-keeping duties. I smiled to myself as I fluffed the pillows and decided to dust.

It was odd, to partake in activities that were so mundane, when my life was anything but.

Paul's laugh stirred me from my work and my thoughts.

I spun around, fixing my stubborn glare into place. "What is it now, _dear_?"

That caused him to laugh even harder. "You. Being all…Martha Stewart."

"I don't understand."

Paul fixed me with a jovial smile, something I learned to not take for what it was. Paul was very good at masking things or hiding things or sheathing an insult within that irresistible smile of his.

I paused. _Irresistible? _Where had _that _come from?

"I just never pictured you being all…homemaker-y, is all."

"You - you - " I stumbled over my words as easily as if they were the steps leading up to my porch. "I…don't know whether to be insulted or…flattered…or…"

"You think by now you would have picked up my gift of using words to their proper effect."

I smiled. Oh, this was too easy. "Well, if I start using curse words as major adjectives, I'll let you know."

"_Fuckin' _A." He grinned at me.

I couldn't hide my own smile.

I continued to clean around the house. I didn't know how much I had been neglecting lately, and it was kind of comforting to be able to sink back into something so normal. I was so absorbed that I jumped slightly when Paul addressed me again, heading back into our former conversation.

"You just don't strike me as the _wife_ type."

This hurt, I was afraid to admit. "I…you don't think I could be anyone's wife?"

Paul stared at me, his eyes suddenly recognizing the context his words could be taken in. They were wide, and his mouth gaped for a moment. For a minute, it looked as if he was actually _sorry. _I felt my anger spike. That was new, instead of racing away from the offending comment, I wanted to rush toward it and defend myself.

"That - that's…" I stumbled for words. "You _suck._"

I spun away and Paul said, "I didn't mean it like that. Geez, you can really jump to conclusions."

I stayed silent.

"I meant that I don't see you as _traditional._ I can see you as working. With a good job. Teaching, probably. Or as a writer. You like books." His sentences became choppy, something that I wasn't used to hearing from him. "Just not a stay-at-home wife-slash-mom. I couldn't see that. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

I paused in folding a blanket.

I heard him scratching his head, scared to even look at him, listened as he ran his fingers through his choppily styled hair.

"Anyone would be lucky…to have you as their…wife, you idiot."

My heart was racing. I wasn't sure why, but…the feeling was pleasant. So long I had gone without this occurring, the simplest of actions. So long my heart had gone without this…this feeling. So long I thought my heart did nothing but keep my life going, and now…

"_Don't_," he started as I turned around, "read too much into that."

I met his eyes, and was surprised that my thundering heart had time to stop beating for that one moment in time. _Ridiculous, _I told myself. _Ridiculous._

"I know. I'd like to believe I'm not _so_ pathetic anymore." I said to him, hating that my heart had started thudding yet again. I knew that he meant it when he said to not read into it, but a part of me wanted it to be true. Wanted to believe otherwise. That he actually had some semblance of…_something_. I wasn't sure what to call it. But a voice in the back of my head decided to pry, _You can't. You can't._

I didn't know why, but the voice sounded like Edward's.

Our eyes were locked - I hadn't realized that we had been staring at each other for so long until he suddenly looked away, toward the door. I wondered why, but then jumped as someone knocked on the door. The knocks were timid, but they sounded like gunshots in the silence of the house.

Paul sniffed the air, "Angela."

The veil of seriousness lifted, I felt the need to joke, "I find it odd that you know her scent."

"I know yours, too, if that's any consolation."

My pulse thudded, but I kept my voice steady enough to deadpan, "_No_."

I walked to the door, stretching my arms as I walked. I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and came face to face with the kind eyes of Angela Weber. She smiled at me and said a hello before looking down at the dish she carried. "Um…I made brownies."

"Hell yeah," Paul rose from the couch and sauntered over. "That's what I'm talking about."

"Your dad here?"

I shook my head, "He went to go help with the arrangements. He wanted to see how everyone was dealing, as well. Probably won't be back until late."

"Ah," she said. "Well, I hope some of them get to him, at least."

"She's funny," Paul said, taking the tray off her hands. "Better company than _some _company you've kept before, I suppose."

Oh, how I wanted to punch him.

Paul walked to the kitchen and placed the brownies on the table. I watched him go before I realized Angela was still trapped outside. I scooted over and let her in the house, a blush creeping on my features.

"I'm about to start cooking," I told her. "Want anything in particular?"

Angela gave me a smile, "Whatever you feel like, Bella."

"I want lasagna, if that's any help."

"Shut up, Paul."

I heard Angela start to laugh. Something about this situation felt natural. Kind of like putting on an old shirt that I had owned for ages. However, I knew that I had never owned this particular shirt before. A strange kind of situation, indeed.

I started making the noodles for the lasagna, smiling as I worked. There was something calming about the atmosphere, despite the tragedy surrounding us and the looming threat of a murderous vampire. I felt calm as I worked, listening to the idle chatter between Angela and Paul. Or, rather, it was Paul dominating the conversation, with Angela smiling and laughing and making shy comments.

"I could see you being a chef, too," he called in my direction.

I turned, feeling my face heat - and not just from the hot stove in front of me. I saw Angela smile, though her face looked confused. She hadn't heard our conversation from before, and I opened my mouth to explain to her when Paul tensed, his head tilted lightly as if sniffing the air. His eyes narrowed, lips pulling over his teeth in a very wolfish gesture.

"Paul?" I asked, stopping my actions. "Something - "

He was out of his chair in a flash, moving over to the front door with barely contained supernatural speed. I gave him credit for that, being able to keep up the semblance of a front even while a clueless human was in the room. I was behind Paul in a flash, wiping my hands off on a towel as I went. My heart was speeding away in my chest, pounding against the cage of bone that contained it.

Angela was behind me, taking careful steps. This was bad, I felt, and Angela was ignorant of what mine and Paul's world consisted of. She wouldn't know what happened if…

I shook my head, banishing the thought before it even formed.

That's when the shouting started.

"What the hell are you doing here, _leech_?" Growls, guttural ones, assaulted my ears through the door. Strangely animalistic. Joined by yet another sound - snarls that sounded eerily familiar. Snarls that recalled images of a predatory James, of a protective Edward, of a possessed Jasper…

"_Embry_!" Paul shouted as he opened the door. His voice was deep, angry, feral. I felt chills go down my spine. Words seemed to be strangling him as something washed over his body full force - a vampire's scent. What he had smelled before, no doubt.

"Paul! This bloodsucker was on her doorstep! I don't know what he was doing, but it wasn't good! I had to phase back - too big of a risk to be out in the open as a wol - "

Paul's growls had drowned out Embry's explanation. I was suddenly very conscious of Angela standing behind me.

It was then that I looked at the cause of the problem. The sweet smell had made its way over to me, and as if drugged, I stepped forward. I made my way towards Paul, his tall frame blocking the doorway. I had an odd feeling, like needles being pressed against my skin.

I finally got a glimpse of the uninvited guest, standing nonchalantly with his arms crossed and Embry's fist twisted in his expensive-looking shirt.

"Ah, Bella," Riley began, smiling like a venomous snake, "it has been far too long."

* * *

_**End Chapter Nineteen.**_


	20. Plundering

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Aw, thank y'all so much for your support! I really appreciate all the reviews and kind words that everyone has for this fic. It's really surprising. I hope that everyone likes this new chapter. Was really fun to write. Thanks so much for sticking with this story! _

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Twenty: Plundering**

* * *

I felt my hands start to shake. Images from the moment at my car assaulted my full force. I found myself remembering his presence, remembering him staring at me, remembering his smell and his voice and how he moved, how he reminded me so much of what I had lost. And yet he was nothing like that.

I stepped forward so I could get a better look at him. Paul turned his head so fast to look at me, I was surprised he didn't get whiplash. He growled, pressing his scorching hot hand against the flesh of my arm.

"Bella," he said. It was both a warning and a plea.

I stayed where I was, honoring his request, but I still spoke.

"Your eyes," I blurted. They were an odd shade. Violet, almost.

"Contacts lenses do funny things," he mentioned. "Red tends to unnerve the general public. When I walk around like a human, I do this."

"And _purple _isn't unnerving?"

Riley grinned, and this one wasn't malicious. It was almost friendly, jovial. I felt this one was genuine, which was odd to me. I had this picture of him from my car, predatory and threatening, and now…it was strange. Almost like a mirror opposite of what I had been presented with before.

"Bella," Angela's voice came closer now. She was now fully behind me, able to see the scuffle happening on my doorstep. The urge to tell her to leave was so strong I had to bite the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood.

Riley stiffened before shaking a finger at me.

Of _course _he would notice the blood.

I felt Paul tense beside me, now noticing that his hand had not left my arm. It gave me a strange sense of security.

"Hello," Riley said jovially, strangely so. "Riley. I'm a - ah - friend."

"Angela," she introduced herself, giving him a shaky smile.

"Why are we all standing out here like hooligans?" Riley asked smoothly. He was remarkably civilized for a vampire. I remembered vaguely Edward telling me that vampires could never completely control their thirst, but after working on it for a while, it got better. Some vampires were naturally gifted with control. I wondered just how long Riley had been a vampire - or if he had a special affinity for that control Edward struggled with daily. "Can I come in?"

"Psh, you think he would know it doesn't work like that - "

"Embry," Paul cut him off.

Riley looked from Embry to Paul, his eyes then landed on me. He gave me a smile, his eyes shining like gems. "Bella, wouldn't want anyone to think that anything's wrong, right?"

"He makes sense," I said, and Paul and Embry looked at me in shock. I said to Paul in a voice low enough that Angela couldn't hear. "We're not necessarily invisible here, Paul."

Paul grunted and stared at me, the weight of his gaze falling over me like a ton of bricks. The silence that followed was deafening. "You have a point."

Embry looked past me, stared at Angela for a moment, and then looked away. His hands tightened reflexively around Riley's shirt collar. "He doesn't go near them."

"We're between you two at all times."

"Fine, fine," I said.

Angela said nothing; if she thought this whole exchange was weird, then she showed nothing to give that away.

Embry and Paul flanked Riley on both sides. Embry shoved Riley through the doorway while Paul stayed near me, keeping me at his side at all times. It would have touched me had it not made me feel smothered in my own home. However, telling them something like, "I can protect myself," was not applicable in this situation.

Angela moved out of the way as Embry tossed Riley on the couch. He was still as attractive as I remembered him, with his windblown sandy blonde hair and the look of a movie star, his skin white as bone and his movements as smooth as the surface of an untouched pond.

"Um…" Angela said, looking at Riley. "I'm getting the feeling that he isn't welcome?"

"More than." Paul glared at him. The phrase "if looks could kill" came directly to mind.

I inhaled sharply. Riley tensed in his seat as he looked at me. "I just came to talk. To _Bella_."

"_Talk_?" Paul stalked forward. He looked ready to kill. Embry circled around to stand in front of Angela, who looked rather worried that she was about to witness a murder. I felt my heart skip in my chest as Paul got so close to the thing that could very easily kill him. It was the same strange feeling that I got when Jacob told me that they hunted vampires. The werewolves seemed more…fragile than the indestructible vampires. All too easily, I had the image of Riley's hands snapping Paul's neck. The distress it brought me was far too real.

"Yeah, I'm sure you came to talk," Paul continued, growling deep in his chest. "You came to do away with her, like - "

Riley raised a finger and held it to his nose before pointing in the direction of Angela. "Innocent ears here, mutt."

Embry growled.

Angela started wringing her hands. "Um…if I'm a bother, I could leave."

"No," Embry said suddenly before turning to the vampire. "She doesn't have to. _You_ need to leave."

Riley smirked at him, his features suddenly looking wicked. "I'm not leaving until I say what I need to."

I looked at Paul, wishing desperately that he would provide me a look or something to let me know he had this under control. I wished I had the strength to protect myself. Like the utter, impossible strength that I knew Riley possessed. Like the shape-shifting, self-healing, wolfy powers of Paul and his friends. I wished that I wasn't so…_human_. That I didn't have to rely on them for protection. An image of me, glorious and immortal, came to mind, and I banished that thought completely.

That didn't apply to me anymore, and it never would. And I wasn't sure that I wanted it to.

"Okay," I spoke up, eyeing the situation in front of me. "We can talk in my room." Paul tensed, about to interrupt when I cut him off. "Paul can stay outside the door, and Embry can stay down here with Angela." I stopped for a moment, then added, "If that's okay."

Paul looked like that was anything but okay, but he seemed to understand that this might be important, so he relented. He stared at Riley for a moment, his eyes so furious and protective that it startled me. I wasn't sure where this was coming from, but it was new. I thought, feebly, that I might have seen such flashes of concern from him before, but it was nothing like this. Nothing like this burning, mad, fierce gaze he had locked on his natural prey.

"Fine," he snarled. "Go have your talk. _Make it quick._"

I nodded, looking at Riley, expecting him to rise. He did, and as soon as he was standing upright, the atmosphere in my humble abode changed. The wolves were on point, staring at him and trembling with barely suppressed indicators of the withheld phase. I looked at Paul and he nodded tersely at me before we all walked up the stairs. Riley led, and I was about to follow until Paul shoved me behind his towering frame so forcefully I let out a gasp.

He glanced at me and made a pointed look. I was to stay behind him. Sure, it made sense, but…I just wished I could do something more to protect myself. These vampires were indestructible to everything except other vampires and the werewolves themselves.

I stopped in front of my door, face to face with Riley - well, I would have been face to face had it not been for Paul's back.

"Well," Riley began. "Your room?"

"Here," I said, steering them in the direction of my quarters. Paul opened the door for me and snarled at Riley as he went past.

"If he tries anything funny," Paul stated, "just call out. I'll hear you."

"If I wanted to hurt her, I would have already." Riley set a glare on Paul that would have made a weaker man flinch. Paul just stared at him with hatred in his dark eyes.

"You're not helping your case, leech."

Riley smiled in response.

"Come on," I interrupted. "Let's get this over with."

Riley put a look of false-hurt on his face before he followed me into my room. Paul shut the door behind us, but not before I caught the strangest look on his face - almost as if he wished he could prevent all of this from happening.

I heard the door click closed and then I looked up, trying to spot Riley, just in case this whole thing was an elaborate ruse and he was about to murder me. He was standing near my window, his arms folded behind his back, rocking on his heels. It was an oddly human thing for someone that…well, wasn't. It almost reminded me of the many times I'd come in my room and find Paul standing by that same window, in such deep thought that I hardly wanted to disturb him.

I didn't realize that I was staring at him until he said, "You must live in your head a lot."

I tensed, wondering how transparent I'd been. It wouldn't be the first time someone had called me out on it. I swallowed and moved to sit down on my bed. "You can sit down."

Riley smiled at that. "That's not necessary." He flexed his fingers in a casual manner. I immediately had an image of those fingers crushing my throat. I shivered. "Not anymore."

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Riley turned to face me fully. He looked at me with those odd, violet colored eyes, brought on by the contacts. He then ran a hand through his hair and took a deep, whistling breath. "Victoria."

I let in a gasping breath.

"_Don't_ come in here, wolf. I want to get to know Bella without any other distractions that might influence her answers."

I thought that Paul might ignore what Riley was saying, but he didn't open the door. I did hear it turn minutely, but then it stopped. Just like my heart.

"You know…you know Victoria." I felt as if I was living in dream. Something didn't seem real about any of this. If Victoria had friends, then she could easily orchestrate something like this to take me away from the protection of the wolves. I rose from my seat, unsure of what I was going to do.

Riley nodded. "Sit down, though. I have a few things to find out."

"I'd rather stand, thank you."

This caused him to smile a bit. "If you prefer."

I nodded at him. "I'd prefer it if you went ahead with what you had to tell me, to be honest."

Riley's smile became a true grin, showing teeth - teeth that could rip, tear, kill. But the grin wasn't malicious. It was as if I actually impressed him, actually amused him. Honestly, with no pretense.

"When Victoria described you to us, she said you had no backbone," he said, smiling. "Her first lie, I suppose."

I felt a spike of anger, felt my hands curl into fists. "_First _lie?"

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, Bella." The way he caressed my name caused me to want to look away from him. "But I was created by Victoria."

"Riley," I started, realizing that I never addressed him like this before, "what - "

He held up his hand. "Before you ask any questions, I'd like it if I told my story first. I'd imagine that there would be many of them."

"Okay," I said, "I can give you that."

This seemed to amuse him as well.

"I'm from Seattle," he started. "No one knows me here. People figure I died. I've been missing for months. Victoria recruited me. Told me things. She said she loved me, that she wanted me to help her with something _very _important. When I asked her what it was that she wanted help with, she gave me a whole story. One that was hard to believe."

I stared at him, my heart had stopped beating, it felt. Everything in the room - the air itself - seemed like it was pressing in on me.

"You were the source of her problem - a _human_. One that she had a grudge against. Your mate had killed her mate for no reason. Unprovoked. And she was recruiting vampires - turning them and using their unpredictability as well as their bloodlust to become fighters in the cause for your demise."

I ended up lowering myself to my bed, sitting on the plush fabric of my quilt. Ratty and old, it felt less comforting than it should have.

"I had no idea why she wanted so many of us to do the job, but now I see. You have the wolves on your side, and all of that. But there was something about her story that just didn't feel right. I wasn't sure what it was, but I could almost feel her deception. I didn't tell her this, fearing that she would dispose of me.

"So that brings me here. Coming to you with a proposition, wanting to hear your story first before I decide whose side I will take. It only seemed fair."

I stared at him blankly.

He shrugged. "I've been told I'm rather rational for a newborn."

"How old are you?" I asked him. "Vampire-wise."

"About five months," he replied. Those odd violet contacts threw me off guard every time. I almost wanted him to remove them. The red irises would be less unnerving, if I was honest with myself.

"I'm…impressed." I fiddled with my hands, wringing them unnecessarily. "I thought that all newborns are rabid for the first years of their life."

Riley shrugged yet again, his elegant, thin shoulders making the movement more interesting than it should been. Thus were the ways of vampires. Making even the most mundane of movements the most fascinating by a landslide in comparison to the clumsy human movements every other person exhibited each day.

"I'm told that some vampires have better self control than others. It kind of depends on the individual's personality type before they were turned. For example, more impulsive personality types have more issues…adjusting. I've been rather vanilla, I suppose." He smiled as if remembering something fond. I felt a bit of guilt tug at my heart. He had his humanity stolen from him, just like so many others, and just for the pity act of revenge.

"So," he started again. "Would you mind telling me your story?"

"Would you like to sit?" I asked him, mimicking his earlier statement.

A wicked smile came across his face. "I'm good, thanks."

Sighing, I started my tale.

I went through everything I had experienced. Going through my meeting Edward, glossing over some of the more painful memories - the happy ones, the ones in which he told me he loved me - and headed into the moment where I met James and Victoria and Laurent. Flipped through the memories in which I thought James had captured my mother. I stuttered through the part where I had found myself in his clutches with a broken leg and near my death. Being saved from the burning inflicted upon me by James. I told him I woke up days later, in the hospital, human and broken but with Edward.

He looked at me after I finished. Riley's eyes hadn't strayed from mine since I began the story. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me.

"Do you sense a lie?" I asked wryly, feeling my lips twist into a smile that I deemed almost Paul-like in nature. That very thought frightened me. "Edward, Alice, and Jasper had gifts. They told me that others had them as well. Maybe that's yours."

Riley started to smile. It was surprisingly genial in a way. It was really strange that this was the same person from so many days ago, the same one that I thought had wanted my death.

He looked toward the door. "Your wolf wants in."

Audible growling issued from the other side of the door.

I flushed, and then scoffed.

_My wolf_. Like Paul could ever be owned by anyone.

But I liked the ring of it far too much.

"Let him in, then," I told him.

"Not before I say this," Riley said. There was a strange tone to his voice, almost as if he didn't want to mention what he was about to say, but that it had to be said anyway.

I stared at him, wondering what else he could possibly have to say.

"There is one glaringly obvious solution to all of this."

Riley paused for dramatic effect. I idly wondered if that was a part of being immortal. That the person automatically developed a flair for melodrama.

It was then that my heart stopped, the meaning sinking in before he even said the words aloud.

"I could turn you."

* * *

_**End Chapter Twenty.**_


	21. Dissolution

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Thanks so much for your kind reviews for the last chapter! I'm so glad that this fic is still getting received well. It means so much to me. I have a bit of a summer break now, so I'm hoping to get a few updates in. If not, I'll update when I can. No worries! I hope that y'all enjoy this latest chapter! Thanks so much for the support! _

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Twenty One: Dissolution**

* * *

Before I knew it, I heard the door creaking and splintering and making noises that doors are most definitely not supposed to make.

I was still trying to process what the visiting vampire had said when my door was practically ripped from its hinges, revealing the hulking form of Paul, breathing deeply, his chest heaving. His fists were trembling like leaves in a hurricane. I knew it was taking all he had to not phase right then and there.

"P-Paul - "

"What the _fuck_ are you doing, leech? What the _fuck_?" A wicked shudder rolled down his spine. He grit his teeth. "How can you offer her something like this? It's not fixing anything! Who knows, you could be suggesting this just so you can have a sneaky way to drain her dry - "

He broke off, so caught up in the flurry of emotion that he couldn't continue with his train of thought. The silence that followed was so brutal it was almost a physical blow.

"You _know _she wants this. To be one of you. Ever since _he _came to town. She could go find that leech of hers - "

_Edward…_

The name came, unbidden, through my thoughts. Almost like a ghost, it fluttered around the edges of my subconscious.

The fact that Paul thought I would go look for Edward if I were to agree to what Riley was proposing was almost ludicrous. It seemed so farfetched that I almost laughed aloud. Of course it was tempting. Then I could actually help rather than hinder the proceedings. But I had Charlie. And school. What would I do then? If I accepted now, how would I continue life like the Cullens had?

But…no.

I couldn't.

As shocking as Paul's reaction was, I couldn't do this to them. I couldn't blaspheme against the wolves like this.

And…_I didn't want it._

I wanted to be strong and powerful, able to defend myself. And I could. Just not against the creatures that inhabited my town. Not against the supernatural. But I wasn't completely helpless, though I felt it at the time. Strength wasn't always about the physical things, though that was what people made it seem more often than not.

"You're a fucking _idiot_, leech. _A fucking idiot_." Paul pointed at him. It would have been comical had it not been so threatening. I had never seen Paul this angry. I wondered what would have caused him to be so irate. I knew that the wolves had this vendetta with the vampires, but I didn't know why exactly Paul didn't want me to become one. Maybe he saw this as all his hard work protecting me was going down the drain if I just gave the word.

But…this wasn't all about me, after all.

This was about the people I cared about - about Charlie and Angela and all my friends at school. This was about the wolves, especially. Jake and Sam and Embry and…

_And Paul._

If this was truly the best way for me to protect them, shouldn't I do it? Shouldn't I make the change just because it is the most logical option. Let Riley turn me and then Victoria would have to back off, right? It would be no fun for her when I was just as - and maybe more - indestructible and physically strong as she was. We could end up taking her down together, if we needed to.

_Sacrifice…martyr… _Those words and words like them drifted through my head like ghosts, prodding and poking at the recesses of my mind.

Logically, it was the best decision.

Emotionally, however, I didn't know if I was ready for it.

The thoughts that raced through my mind weren't welcome ones. They all pointed to the fact that I _should_ let Riley turn me. It would be best for everyone I cared about. Charlie would mourn, but he would recover. Everyone recovers, right?

That last fact seemed more and more apparent to me.

I started wringing my hands. I pursed my lips.

"You're…" Paul's voice came out of no where. "You're actually _considering it_?"

The snarl startled me more than I was used to. I had started to feel so comfortable around Paul that hearing this amount of intensity in his voice was downright strange. I looked at him, searching for something to say that would make his rage subside. I knew that was a futile action the moment I looked into his eyes.

"Paul…" I said, and my voice sounded more pleading than I was used to hearing.

"Don't _Paul_ me, Swan." He stepped forward. Surprisingly, he was not going for Riley's throat, but he was still shaking as if something had disturbed him greatly.

Guilt settled over me like a blanket.

"It…it would be foolish of me to dismiss it so quickly."

I felt Riley's eyes on me. There was something strange in them, a look that was so human that I was shocked. Though I never thought of vampires as anything monstrous, it was still so odd to see one of the non-Cullens looking at me like that. As if he _cared_.

"It would be foolish of you to go through with it, too." Paul stepped to the side, grasping his large and shaking hand onto one of the shelves of the many bookcases in my room. His voice was venomous, "This is idiotic and you know it."

"What would be idiotic would be me not weighing all the options!" I was surprised at the shrillness of my voice. I hadn't even meant to yell at him like that, but I figured why not? He was certainly doing a good job of it himself, so why not give him a taste of his own medicine?

"Even if the other option means dying?" he asked. Loaded question. Loaded answers. I didn't like it.

"Yes."

My word hung in the charged air, almost like a spark in a room of gunpowder.

A cracking sound met my ears.

My eyes focused on Paul, whose hand had broken off a large chunk out of the bookshelf. The splintered wood punctured his skin; blood trickled down his palm and onto his forearm. I could see him clutching it as if hanging on to dear life.

"Paul!" I started, but then looked to Riley. "Oh…oh, no…"

Riley caught onto what I was saying and smiled. "No, Bella. His scent is repulsive to our species. What makes you think his blood appeals to us as well?"

I heard his explanation in some other time and launched myself forward. I hurried over to Paul's side and took his hand in both of mine, prying the piece of wood out of his hands. He didn't protest. My former queasiness about blood was gone, placed somewhere far back in my mind. There was nothing else in my thoughts except the fact that Paul was hurt and he needed help -

And just as I thought that, the wound finished sealing up right in front of my eyes.

I felt silly, but I kept his hand clenched between the both of mine. The contrast between my hands and his was almost comical. I had some of his blood on my fingers, and he didn't seem to notice. If anything, he grasped my hand tighter.

The moment seemed oddly intimate, something that I wanted to run from as soon as I realized it, but I just couldn't seem to. I also couldn't bring myself to look up from our hands, twined together like some bloodied sign of promise.

"Stop it," I told him. "You're doing no one good by hurting yourself."

I chanced a glance upward at him and found that he was staring at me intently.

"Neither are you."

I jerked my hands from his. I hated that he was partly right, but he partly didn't know what he was talking about. What if I had a chance to stop everything before it really began? What if I could stop other people from getting hurt? If I had that power, even though it meant sacrificing my humanity, wouldn't it be selfish not to use it?

I moved away from him. Being so close to him was making it hard to make a decision, though I wasn't sure if there was a timeline that Riley was working with. I hoped there wasn't. This couldn't be a split second decision. I had to at least think…

But, really, how much was there to think about when it involved possibly saving the lives of all I held dear?

I found myself walking towards Riley. Though my mind was set, I said, "Can you let me think about it?"

A smile curved his lips. "Of course. I didn't expect you to make a such a serious decision in just one day."

However, he was staring at me as if I was something particularly interesting. It was a rather odd feeling, to be scrutinized by a vampire after so long without having direct contact with one. His eyes didn't waver, his breath didn't falter, as his odd, artificially violet eyes were boring into my own.

Paul was growling; the sound reminded me of a chainsaw or something equally as brutal. It was enough to give me chills, having the same effect on me as if someone was running their nails down a chalkboard.

He turned around, walking out the door that had been swung open. I would be surprised if Angela had no questions about this later. I felt guilty that he was so high-strung about this. I would be too, I supposed, if my charge was just going to throw their life away after I'd spent a good part of my time trying to protect her. After all of my worries about being a burden, I was an ironic burden, at that.

Riley then leaned forward and brushed a lock of hair from my ear. He whispered in my ear, so low that I had to strain to hear it.

"I understand placating the wolf, but he will forgive you."

I scoffed. "You don't know him well."

"I know enough."

The three words he said made me uncomfortable. What exactly was he implying? I wasn't sure. But the inkling I had did not make me feel happier about it. In fact, it made me feel worse.

"How will I get in contact with you when I've made my decision?"

"I'll be around." He produced a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. "If not, here. My cell number."

I took it, studying the number skeptically. "Alright, then." I wasn't even going to ask about how he paid his cell bill. Probably under a false name or something. "I'll…ah…give you a call, then."

"Text." Riley looked at me as if this was something more important than it was. "Victoria tends to be around a lot. I plan on renouncing my allegiance to her as soon as I can. I don't want her hearing that I've…switched sides, however. It could anger her, and make her more eager to take you out."

I tensed. "Texting it is, then."

"Reasonable girl," he crooned.

"I try." I was certainly being reasonable about my mortality.

If only Paul would understand that.

Riley nodded at me cordially and then headed out the door as if he owned the place. He had that kind of air about him, I noticed. The air that just said he was someone important, which was a strange thing. There was no arrogance about it, and that left me nonplussed. "Good day, Bella."

"Bye, Riley…"

"I'll escort you out," Embry said from the bottom of the stairs. I was surprised I could hear it from that far away. I wondered idly what other things I would be able to hear if the change took place…

It was at that point I realized I felt numb.

Maybe everything was sinking in, but I found that my hands were shaking.

The whole thing was so sudden, so soon. I didn't realize just how much I was affected by it - physically - until now.

I could be immortal. But I didn't want it for the selfish desire to be with the one I loved for eternity. I was now in desperate need of this, in an attempt to save everyone I loved. How things have changed…

The door shutting downstairs stirred me from my stupor. I still felt as if I had been bathed in ice water, but that was nothing compared to the oddly fast beating of my heart. The nerve endings and the organ in my chest were contradicting each other. My physical movements were so slow, I stood no chance against any kind of threat, but my heart was pumping away in my chest.

It was then that I realized how anxious I was - nervous anxiety, of course.

In a matter of time, I could be cold as ice, hard as marble, indestructible as Superman…

I realized how scattered and crazy my thoughts were sounding. I felt dizzy, almost like I was spinning out of control. There must be only so much a person could take before they…

"Bella."

The gruff voice snapped me out of my funk. Somehow, it soothed away the edges of what I felt was impending madness, and I allowed myself to smile lightly.

"Paul…" I trailed off, now noticing that he wasn't even in the doorframe. He had called me from outside, in the hallway. Had I disgusted him so much that he couldn't even look at me? The very thought…the very thought…

Well, it wasn't pleasant; I was surprised I could admit that much to myself.

I knew he heard me. Werewolf hearing never ceased to amaze me, and I knew that he was just as proficient in hearing from distances as the vampires were. I knew he heard me, and yet he didn't so much as peek into my room to get a glimpse at the person he was supposed to be talking to.

I wrinkled my nose. The scent of Riley was left in the room, as sweet and intoxicating as any other vampire. I forced the images of Edward away as quickly as they came, surprised that I didn't linger on them like I had once done. One of the memories did stick, that of after he left me…how the room had smelled of the sickly sweet scent of vampire for weeks after. It was only a faint scent, one that lingered around my pillowcases and sheets, but it might as well have been a pungent perfume, one that saturated the air as well as my brain.

And only then did I notice the scent of earth, earth and something pleasantly spicy, and the fact that it lingered around my room - and then linked it with Paul.

It was faint, akin to the scent of vampire, but I picked up on it nonetheless. It was odd that I was noticing this now, but somehow I couldn't help it.

I stepped forward, walking toward the door. I peeked my head out and, not seeing Paul right away, started to crane my head…

I found him, leaning against the wall to the left of the door, his arms crossed, his expression steely.

"You know, when you call someone, and they call back, the usual protocol dictates that you at least - "

He raised a hand. "Dictating protocol? Who are you, the feds?"

"I was just saying - "

"Will you take a walk with me?"

I paused, looking at him as if he had grown another head, and as if that head had started spouting Latin at me. "Uh…"

"_Come for a walk with me." _One of Edward's final requests of me came barreling through my thoughts.

I shuddered.

Paul turned his head, looking at me for the first time. "Not through the woods," he said. I was momentarily stunned by his perceptiveness. But, then again, I shouldn't have been. "I was thinking about the beach."

"La Push beach?" My voice was strangely hopeful, though his face stayed as serious as I'd ever seen it.

"That's the one." His voice was monotone, unemotional. I felt the creep of the familiarity of that last day with Edward fall over me, and suddenly panic edged through my brain.

"Yeah," I said, keeping my voice casual and bright, "sounds like a field trip."

He gave me a smile - bitter and jaded and angry, but still Paul - and pushed himself off of the wall before facing me completely.

"Exactly."

* * *

_**End Chapter Twenty One.**_


	22. Waves

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Okay! A few notes before the chapter starts._

_Firstly, I am so overwhelmed by the responses for the fic! This little puppy has hit one thousand plus reviews, and it really is mind-blowing to me. I never expected any of my fics to receive this much feedback, and it really is amazing, and I thank all of you for supporting and continuing to read. It makes a girl proud!_

_Secondly, this fic has been featured on The Fictionators website, which is another accomplishment that I would have never foreseen, and I am extremely grateful to them for that!_

_Thirdly, with the whole fanfiction "spring cleaning" going on at this site, I'm kind of worried for this fic and the language that has been used. Does it still warrant a T or do I need to up it to an M? I would be happy if anyone would help me with this, haha._

_Fourthly, thanks so much for everyone who reviewed last chapter! I apologize for the long authors note, I just wanted to thank everyone properly because all their support means so much!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
Chapter Twenty Two: Waves**

* * *

The drive to the beach was longer than I remembered.

I wasn't sure if it was because of the fact that Paul was still livid or the fact that I was still numb, but either way the length of the drive felt like an eternity.

Maybe it was because Embry and Angela were in the car with us as well.

I didn't have to be an expert on awkwardness to know that this was, well, awkward.

I kept feeling Angela's stare in the rearview mirror. We had to take her car, since it was the only one that could comfortably carry four people. Paul and I sat in the back, while Embry sat up front. Angela drove, though I could see that she was puzzled as to why we were going to the beach when everyone had a mini-drama session not ten minutes ago. She said nothing, though, of which I was grateful. I couldn't imagine having to explain to her everything, but I couldn't allow myself the hope that she would let it slide forever.

Embry was talking to her, something that I found myself listening to. He was rather animated, smiling every now and then and gesturing wildly with his hands. He laughed at everything she said and seemed to hang on every word. It was an odd thing to watch, but I figured that Embry was probably attracted to Angela, or something like that. It wouldn't be farfetched.

Paul grunted beside me.

"What?" I turned and looked at him.

"Nothing," he mumbled, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "Nothing."

I decided to leave it at that. Ever since Riley decided to disrupt our day with the bomb to end all bombs, it seemed Paul and I had been at odds. With good reason. Frankly, I would be concerned if he actually _told_ me to go through with it…

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. _No,_ I thought, _no thinking of that just yet._ I had Paul to deal with, after all. I had a lot of things to deal with, to be frank, none of which were pleasant. Maybe a trip to the beach would clear my head. I'd always loved the beach, but something about this trip made me figure that Paul was hiding some kind of agenda. I wouldn't put it past him to rip my head off as soon as we were away from his wolf-buddy and the clueless innocent.

Angela finally turned onto the parking lot designated for the beachgoers. I sighed in relief, finding that I felt strangely light at the prospect. Suddenly I longed to sink my feet into the sand, feel the grainy texture of it between my toes, watch as the bubbly ocean water swirl around my ankles.

I was so caught up in my dream visit to the beach that I was jerked into reality by Paul elbowing me sharper than I thought was necessary. He glared at me, and I felt no reason not to glare right back at him. I got out of the car, still feeling his gaze on my back.

There was so much to consider. I was surprised I hadn't gone crazy from the massive amount of information that was pressed upon me. But still, there was Paul. And Paul was Paul, of course. He couldn't be ignored, no matter how hard I tried. The reasons for that might lean more in the direction of _me _not being able to ignore _him_. For reasons that I didn't quite yet understand.

I jerked the car door open and filed out. I watched as Embry stretched his long limbs out at his sides and inhaled the salty sea air as if he had never smelled it before. The sight was amusing, and I found myself smiling despite myself.

"Dumbass," Paul scoffed.

Embry turned around, looking offended. There was a lightness to his face that was strange, something I'd never associated with the werewolves. I then thought of Seth, hoping that the phase hadn't harmed his selfless, sweet way of viewing the world.

"Let's go," Paul said, walking toward the beach. It was clear of people. Perfect for yelling at me, I supposed. He gave a look in the direction of his pack mate that suggested he and Angela steer clear. I felt ice lodge in my veins as Embry nodded and started chatting at Angela, his face animated and clear.

Paul touched my elbow. I felt myself physically jolt at the contact, not used to having those fingers on me in such a gentle, yet intense way. I let him lead me down to the beach, going the opposite direction of where Embry and Angela were headed. There was a large, dead tree sitting in the sand, its roots bowed up and looking more like the grasping tentacles of an octopus than anything having to do with plant life. Paul steered me in that direction, oblivious to anything else.

Sand got in my shoes, the salty wind brushed my hair, and I didn't mind. I should have been cold, I supposed, but the proximity of Paul's body kept me from shivering. He was almost like a human space heater. The thought made me smile, and that apparently irritated the wolf beside me.

"What's that goofy grin about?" he asked, his voice unkind and rough. "Finally thrilled about gaining immortality?"

Well, that certainly wiped the smile off my face.

I turned to look at him. He had walked ahead of me, as if not even wanting to be near me, and then sat down on one of the massive roots of the tree, looking out to the ocean behind me. I walked forward with a sense of caution, bewilderment. There was nothing that I could tell him that would make him understand. Even if I told him that the _immortality _aspect of it wasn't appealing at all anymore, he wouldn't believe me. He'd just say I was lying, that I'd leave and find Edward as soon as I had the chance.

Which…_wasn't true._

I wasn't sure why, but suddenly, that wasn't the thing I wanted most anymore. Sure, I still hurt over him, but…to turn vampire and go and find my vampire ex-boyfriend? That was a bit too _stalker-y_ for my tastes.

And…Edward didn't _want_ me anymore, either. Why would I burden him with my presence when I wasn't even _wanted_?

"I'm…not thrilled about it," I told Paul. He was pointedly not looking at me, opting to focus on the murky waves that crashed upon the beach. Without him by my side, it was shockingly cold. "But it makes the most sense."

He jerked as if electrocuted. "How the hell does that make the most sense? It makes no sense at all!" Paul finally looked at me, his eyes black and enormous in his skull. "We've been trying to preserve your life and this is how you treat that? The first vamp willing to bite you, and you're down for it?"

I shrugged. "I know the problems I've been causing you, Paul. I know that I have been more of a burden to you than anything, since you have to watch over me nonstop." I started to wring my hands, but I didn't avert my eyes. "There are pros to this, if you can see them. First and foremost, my family and friends and all the people I love will be safe. I'll be a vampire; Victoria will have no reason to come after me. She'll leave us all alone. Secondly, if she does decide to keep with her vendetta, _I can defend myself._"

Paul scoffed, as if he found something humorous. "Yeah? Well, see, if Victoria does keep up with her grudge against you, how are you going to defend all of your human friends? Charlie would be easy, since you live with him, and we're around his house all the time now. But all your school friends? All those fragile _humans_? Last time I checked, vampires don't have the ability to clone themselves. If Victoria really decided to play dirty, she could pick them off."

I tensed. I hadn't thought of that. Grasping, I said, "Riley…"

"Yeah, maybe he would help," he replied. "I'm sure that he might have some loyalties, and he seemed honest when he was talking to us. But he's a leech, and I don't trust him as far as I can throw him."

"I'm sure you could throw him pretty far, since you're a _werewolf_," the comment was out of my mouth before I had time to filter it.

A cynical smile overtook his face, but his eyes were no less fierce.

"You flatter me," he said.

"Just telling the truth," I replied. "Being supernatural has all kinds of perks."

Paul glared at me. "I've heard stories. Vampires are bloodthirsty for a good part of their first bit of existence. This can go on for months, _years_, until they learn to control it. That Riley kid is a freak of nature, being able to control it so well, but we can't say that you're the same kind of freak. Shit, if Victoria doesn't have the idea to go after your loved ones, _you _might be the one that finishes off Charlie."

My blood seemed to freeze in my veins.

Taking my silence for what it was, Paul continued, "Didn't think of that, did you?"

I hadn't.

Paul looked at me for a moment, and I thought that he might have just a bit of sympathy for my current plight. His eyes had softened, and he looked like he believed that I really hadn't thought of that.

I was still standing, and the action was surprisingly uncomfortable. I shifted from foot to foot as Paul slipped off the branch and parked it in the sand, letting his long legs stretch out in front of him as he did so. I decided to walk over there and sit down on one of the bowed up roots, just beside him, but not too close that he would feel uncomfortable. I could feel the heat radiating off of him even then, and it was surprisingly nice.

It was quiet for a moment, and then Paul spoke, his deep voice somewhat soothing despite its roughness.

"We're perfectly capable of taking her out, you know," he ventured. "It's been a while, but that doesn't mean that we won't ever get her."

He turned his eyes on me, and they were so dark that I felt myself getting sucked into them. I couldn't look away, not even if I tried.

"Have a little faith, Bells."

My heart floundered in my chest.

For a moment, I wasn't sure why, but then I realized… _He called me Bells._ The endearment was so familiar, but not when coming from his lips. I was used to hearing Jake and Charlie call me that, but not…not _Paul_. My cheeks suddenly felt hot and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Surely, Paul didn't know the effect this had on me, because he then turned his head to watch the ocean, which was roiling and bubbling, beautiful in its chaos.

"Yeah," I croaked, "I'll try."

I inhaled shakily, feeling the salty air make its way down into my lungs. It was strangely refreshing. I didn't realize I had my head in my hands until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stiffened out of reflex. I still wasn't used to people touching me, even after all of my encounters with Jacob. But…something about this touch made me want to lean in, despite my discomfort.

I peered at Paul's face through my fingers. It did strike me as odd that he decided to physically touch me at this moment. His large hand encompassed my shoulder entirely. I knew I had lost weight since Edward's departure, but this had me wondering just how much.

"You're touching me," I said. _No shit, he's touching you, _a deeply sarcastic inner voice bit at me.

"No shit," he reiterated in such a similar fashion that I struggled against a smile. He pulled his hand away from my arm and I nearly let out a breath in complaint. "It's called a _comforting gesture_."

"That's just weird," I deadpanned. "And since when do you do _comforting gestures_?" I mocked.

Paul blinked, then shrugged. The picture of nonchalance. "Since never. But you're weird. You deserve to have weird stuff happen to you."

"Thanks," the venom in my voice could have killed an entire village.

We seemed to have forgotten the giant elephant in the room for a moment, and of course, things had to come back to their serious center.

"Listen," he said, standing up and brushing off the back of his pants. "I know you're stubborn as hell. I know you'll do what you think is right, no matter if it is or isn't - " I opened my mouth to protest but he kept on. " - and I know that you can make your own decisions. I'm not going to sit here and _tell _you what to do. You wanna be a bloodsucking vamp on the off chance that it might cause Victoria to give up on you, then fine. You wanna stay human and let us protect you? That's fine, too." It looked like it physically pained him to say this, but I appreciated his words. "Just know that, from what I've seen of Victoria, she's a persistent little bitch, and she won't give up just because you can suddenly keep up."

The sun's light was dimmed behind murky looking clouds, and Paul was now standing in front of me, casting even more darkness over the spot where I sat.

I nodded. He made sense. He made _too much _sense. Weren't people like Paul supposed to be raving, unintelligible maniacs when angry? Since when was Paul capable of a monologue like that? I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my forearms in search of heat.

There was a pause, and then Paul said, quieter, "I know you'll think this through. I know you're not going to drop this, but…being supernatural doesn't solve anything."

There was a depth to his words, something that spoke of experience, something that made me want to reach out and take his hand. That was an urge I denied, though. I didn't think that would go over well.

The air of seriousness was suddenly gone, replaced by a lighter feeling. I knew Paul didn't want me to do this. All of the wolves viewed the vampires as evil, unholy things, but I knew differently. Sure, they had their callous moments, but I remembered Alice's kindness to me, Emmett's booming laugh, Carlisle and Esme's genuine goodness…

And then I was startled by a shout.

It was more like a holler, I supposed, but I turned quickly in the direction of it. I squinted along the shoreline and found the sheer cliff face that bordered one edge of the beach. Tiny figures hurled themselves off the edge, screaming in delight all the way down before their bodies hit the water with a barely audible splash. I found myself leaning forward, eager to see more, almost as if I were watching a fascinating movie.

"Geez, having a normal life must be awesome," I heard Paul complain.

I found myself ignoring the jibe at my constant company, and spinning around, I said, interested, "Cliff diving?"

"Looks fun, don't it?" he said casually.

I remembered a conversation I had with Jake, just before he phased for the first time. Cliff diving. The idea still appealed to me, and I wondered if Paul would be as warily in awe about my interest as Jake had been. I was less of an adrenaline junkie, but still, I figured it would be a fun - albeit dangerous - experience.

"Care to take me sometime?" I turned, pointing to the cliff and the howling non-wolfy members of La Push atop it.

Paul cocked his head to the side, an amused smile slowly making its way over his features. "I don't see why not." He pointed to the highest peak. "When we have enough time," his voice was silky, "we get to jump from the highest bit, right there. It's pretty amazing." He then added, "Maybe, if it was at the right time of day, and you had us with you, you could jump from the top as well."

I nodded. It was a strange kind of thing, hearing Paul being so…upbeat about potentially dangerous situations when I had people who protected me from them on a daily basis.

I hadn't noticed I'd walked so close to the water until it lapped up my ankles, soaking the fabric of my jeans. The cold was shocking, but I didn't mind. I squinted upward, watching as the last member of the pack hurled himself off the cliff - I think there were about three up there. I couldn't begrudge them their fun, though. It was moments like these, with no Victoria sighting in so long, that they were probably able to let off some steam. And doing that was a prime way to help relieve stress, I supposed.

I stepped forward once more, but somehow my pants leg got caught underfoot, and I fell.

_Of course, _I thought, wincing as my bottom came into contact with the water. Immediately after that, a wave came up and barreled over me, soaking me to the bone. My hair stuck to my neck like a clawing hand, and I fought back a yelp as I brushed it away. Struggling to get up, I once again was mashed into the sand by another wave. I managed to make it on my knees this time, and was shocked at what I heard.

Paul. _Laughing_.

I shouldn't have been shocked, but it was an odd thing to hear, a laugh from him that didn't sound cynical or self-deprecating. My wet tangle of hair had now moved to block my vision, so I slung it so it hung down my back. A third time, I tried to get up. I ended up in a kind of crouch, and even then the wet sand was more like quicksand. The salt water stung my eyes and I couldn't find a way out -

A strong hand grabbed my wrist and pulled. My feet were free of the sand, and I was whirled away from the ocean that now seemed more of a deathtrap than ever.

My head knocked against the sculpted musculature of Paul's chest, his hand still wrapped around my wrist. I felt his booming laughter resonate against me, like a shouted voice in a cave. Moments ago, I had been in the freezing ocean, and the heat emanating from his body was almost enough to make me break a sweat.

And then I realized I was laughing with him.

To see his guard down, to see him laughing so freely like this, to be pressed so close to him that I could feel the contours of his chest…it was so intimate that it bordered on suffocating.

The moment was gone as quickly as it happened. He released my wrist and I pulled away from him, not wanting to be seen as clingy and disrespectful, though I did linger a bit longer than necessary, breathing in the scent of earth and spice that was distinctly Paul.

Paul looked down at me, and there was a moment in which his eyes were heartbreakingly tender. Again, that moment passed quickly as he roughly flicked a patch of hair away from where it had settled against my cheek. I felt my cheeks heat.

"C'mon," he said gently, so gently that my heart was in my throat. "Let's go, klutz. I'm sure dying of pneumonia isn't in your plans."

I nodded, and we started to walk down the shoreline.

I shivered, my teeth chattering, and then tensed when Paul wrapped his arm around my shoulders. The warmth flooded through me, and I relaxed.

"No funny business, Swan," he said threateningly, though his voice was strangely rough.

"I wouldn't dare," I joked, but I did take advantage of the fact that Paul was willing to _be _so close by leaning my head against his body as we walked.

He scoffed, and as we walked, that rumbling sound mixed in with the waves around us, and I had a fleeting thought that maybe - just maybe - everything really would be alright.

Being so close to Paul and feeling so safe, it was hard to imagine otherwise.

* * *

_**End Chapter Twenty Two.**_


	23. Dread

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Okay! New chapter! I just want to say, again, just how much all the responses for this fic mean to me. It's just really remarkable. I am so grateful for all the reviews, favorites, etc. I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter! Thanks so much for reading!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Twenty Three: Dread**

* * *

Somehow, after that day at the beach, I felt lighter than I had in days.

It was weird. I had figured that I'd go back to my zombie-phase after even thinking of Edward for a prolonged period of time - especially after being offered a ticket to immortality. And then, when I had talked with Paul, I felt no remorse at staying human, at least for this moment. He put up a great argument, and I was convinced that me becoming a vampire would do more harm than good, especially if my family got involved. If Victoria couldn't get to me because I was all marble-hard and impenetrable, then she would no doubt try to get to me through my family and friends, starting with Charlie and most likely ending with Renee. She had the resources, and I did not doubt her abilities to pull it off.

After everything that had happened to me since my trip to Forks, I was not capable of being ignorant of other people's abilities, of their desire to get what they wanted, by any means necessary.

And, even if Victoria didn't try to get to me through my friends, I'd still be putting all of Forks in danger if I was one of those bloodthirsty vampires for the entirety of my forever.

_I _could be the one that ended up killing Charlie. Angela, Ben, Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Tyler... All of them. And countless unknowns that didn't deserve to die.

All these thoughts ran around in my head, like vagabonds.

The rapid onset of all these new events was enough to get my head spinning just thinking about it.

I tried to lose myself in school work.

It was a familiar thing, studying so much that it was insane, to avoid problems. I did it enough when Edward left. Though now, my straight A's had turned into something less satisfactory. I supposed that it was time to start studying again. If Victoria was eventually caught and my life retained some semblance of normalcy, I'd at least want to have a high enough GPA to get into a good college.

Even that thought was an alien one.

I'd never thought of college when I was with Edward, only of being with him forever. College or no college, it didn't matter. As long as I was by his side for the rest of our existence. That was all that mattered.

Looking back on it now...I wonder why.

I wondered why my thoughts had taken this particular route as I drove to school. The loudness of my truck was familiar and comforting. I was long past caring what other people thought of my mode of transportation, anyway. I didn't particularly like the way my thoughts had decided to go, and started to hum to myself. It was a dreary tune, one that was out of place on the rather sunny day.

_Weird._

Sunny days like today were uncommon in Forks. That was why the Cullens chose to make this place their home. I then realized that neither Riley or Victoria would be able to go out in this weather today, and that thought comforted me.

I pulled into the parking lot. Early to school again. Hardly anyone around.

Again, I didn't know why, but I wanted to get away from Paul as soon as I woke up this morning. I gave him credit, though, more credit than I cared to admit. I thought of how he stayed up, night after night, to watch over me. To make sure that I wasn't killed by Victoria in my sleep.

But...after being so close to him the other day - and liking it - I felt that I had to get away from him. I couldn't allow myself to feel more for him than was necessary.

I hated this time to myself. Being early to school meant that I had all this time to think. When, really, all I wanted was to immerse myself in some task - English, Algebra. Anything to make myself busy and prevent those cancerous thoughts from forming in my mind.

I didn't even have the radio to listen to as I tried to wait out the time until my first class of the day. I was left prisoner to my own venomous thoughts, something that I hated more than anything. I despised the fact that my mind could conjure the wickedest of punishments. The pain of James breaking my leg was nothing compared to the prison of my own mind.

Minutes ticked by. I found myself gazing out towards the woods that bordered the school grounds, the one thing that was always present in Forks. The green of the trees and the ominous feel of it used to make me feel dread. Just looking at it would remind me of Edward and what he had done, but now, I felt a sort of protection emanating from them, since I knew that at least Paul or one of the pack members were always circling around.

_Paul..._ His name crossed my thoughts like a thief in the night, not supposed to be there but uncaring about it. I played with the frayed ends of my sweater and tried to rid it from my consciousness, but still, the image of his dark eyes stayed with me.

I leaned forward and rested my head on the steering wheel, almost as if seeking my truck for comfort.

_Now you've really lost it, Swan._

Why did that voice in my thoughts sound like _him_?

I don't know how long I stayed there, immersed in my own confused thoughts, hating myself for even allowing the thought of him to cross my mind in a manner that was unprofessional. All I knew was that I was aware of the sounds of my fellow classmates emanating from the lot around me. I ignored them, and was successful until I heard an incessant tapping against the driver's side window.

I cracked my eyes open - I hadn't even realized I had them closed - and was met with Jessica, smiling at me. I could only feel the underlying agenda she had in store for me.

Supposing now was as good a time as ever to get out and join the populace, I grabbed my backpack from the passenger's seat where I had it seated and opened the door. Jessica stepped away accordingly, and let me step out before she bombarded me.

"How's things?" she asked with a lilt - that lilt she got when she was feeling a bit gossipy.

"...fine, Jess," I told her, not liking wherever this was going.

"I...know we've had our issues, Bella," she said as we walked, falling into that chatty familiarity she shared with her friends. Funny, I didn't think that she wanted to be my friend anymore ever since the outing where I'd first heard Edward's hallucinatory voice... "But for the sake of being girlfriends, please share!"

I stopped in my tracks, adjusting my backpack on my shoulder. I shifted my weight to one leg. "Share what?"

"Angela!"

I laughed. "I don't _own _Angela, Jess."

"No! I - ah - mean...okay, how do I put this?" she asked, looking like she was racking her brain. "Angela's been so down since her and Ben broke up, and okay, she's been a bit of a drag to be around. So, today, when she got to school, she was _glowing_. And, like, I totally asked her what was up, but she wouldn't budge. Asked if she got back with Ben, she said _no_. So, I have, like, no idea who this mystery dude is, and it's driving me nuts. And, I figured, since you hang out with her and a bunch of those rez kids and she was wearing this dinky little Quileute necklace when she got to school - "

My full attention was garnered after she said _Quileute._

"Q-Quileute?" I asked.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed, exasperated and a little put out by the fact I had cut her off. Apparently, we had resumed walking while she was talking, and ended up at the door of our first period class. "It's a really cheap looking thing, like a tiny dreamcatcher or something. But anyway, I want to know who this mystery boy is! She's just so _happy_."

"That's..." I could barely find words. "...great. That she's happy. Are you...ah...bothered by it or something? Is that why you want to know?"

"No!" Jess exclaimed, waving her hands as other people filed into the classroom before us. "I'm happy for her. You know how I am, Bella, though. I'm nosy." She laughed a bit at her own expense. "I just...really want to know what they put in the water at La Push. That Jacob kid helped you when you were all doom and gloom and now whoever this La Push guy is has made Angela extremely happy. Hook me up?"

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Loud and unyielding. So much about her statement was just laughable, especially since Jake wasn't the prime helper in my supposed recovery. Not anymore.

"If I find anyone down at La Push, I'll let you know," I told her, running a hand through my hair, finding it tangled and matted. And I had brushed it this morning, too. "And I'll ask Ange for you, too. Just because I'm so nice."

"Awesome, Bella!" Jessica slapped me on the back and then marched into the room, her curly hair bouncing as she went.

I followed her, and almost stopped in my tracks when I saw Angela at her desk, fiddling nervously with her pencil. Right. Test today. She turned and looked at me and gave me a sheepish smile, but I definitely realized why Jessica would describer her as glowing.

I glanced at the small dreamcatcher on her neck. It wasn't a gaudy thing at all. Or cheap looking, as Jessica had described it. It looked very delicate, with tiny turquoise stones embedded in the strings.

Walking to my desk, I tried not to think of the implications of that gift.

Or who might have given it.

* * *

I knew my worrying was irrational. I knew it down to the core of my bones, to the soles of my feet. Everything about my stupid, incessant worrying was completely and utterly uncalled for, and yet I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop myself from staring at the effect that this mystery man was having on Angela. It really was night-and-day difference-wise. Though she acted the same, there was just something...different that made me realize that what Jessica had been saying before was true.

As soon as the bell signaled that school was over for the day, I was off my feet and headed to my car, unconcerned about any other events that could happen.

Idly, I remembered Riley and Victoria and the wolves, but I was more concerned about this particular development.

Some people talk about "driver's amnesia", where a person has driven the same route so many times that they know it by heart and kind of zone out while driving, and don't even remember how they got to their house or wherever it was that they were going. Scary a thought as that is, that is the only thing that can explain what happened to me as I found myself in the driveway of my house with no recollection of how I got there.

I pushed that from my mind - I didn't have time to worry about that, of all things. I yanked the keys out of the ignition and grabbed my bag, sliding out of the cab and walking swiftly to the front door. I wasn't sure why I was so single-minded in this task, especially since it wasn't nearly the most dangerous thing in my life, nor the one that required the most attention, but it had been bugging me the entire day.

Angela, as far as I knew, had only met two members of La Push - Paul and Embry - and if she was involved with someone...it was most likely to be either one of them.

_What if it's Paul?_

That question had been on my mind the entire day, annoying and unrelenting. I wasn't even sure why. What did I care, if Paul and Angela were an item? What did I care at all? They might be happy, and I wasn't going to deny them that.

In fact, I hated the fact that I cared so much.

That was the only thing on my mind as I slung my bookbag on the kitchen table and then walked over to the stairs. Taking them, quickly, one at a time, I tried not to think of the reasons why I was so eager to get up to my room. It had become like clockwork, almost, me meeting with Paul after a day at school.

I opened the door and was assaulted by the atmosphere of the room.

Paul was sitting on my bed - a strange sight in and of itself - his large hands folded in his lap. Darkness radiated from him as if it were physically part of him. I immediately felt the urge to rush to him, afraid for him and of what my heart was doing in my chest, beating worriedly against the bony cage that surrounded it. I stopped myself, though, forcing my actions to be slow and calm, nowhere near the same as what I wanted to do.

"Paul?" I asked. Stupid reaction, since he was right in my line of sight, and just by saying that it sounded as if I were searching for a lost man.

He paused for a moment before looking at me. Somewhere, there was an awful sinking feeling in my gut.

_What if it's Paul? What if it's Paul? What if it's Paul?_

Around and around in circles the thought came, unconcerned about my current mental state. I was to the point where I wanted to jump out of my window when Paul spoke.

"How was your day?"

Okay, I knew this was bad. Paul asking about my day didn't equal anything more than the most intense of avoidance techniques.

"Paul..." I said his name again, trying to find some comfort in it. "I...ah...need to ask you something."

A sardonic smirk spread across his face. "What? There some stupid human dance you need me to take you too? Can't go by yourself?"

I wrinkled my nose at him. The urge to slap him came across me, but I didn't take the bait. Didn't even address his accusations, as random as they were. I knew what he was doing here. "Um...Angela acted different today...and...Jessica came to me and asked if I knew anything...she's wearing a Quileute dreamcatcher around her neck, and I..."

Paul looked at me as if really seeing me for the first time since I'd arrived in the room. "Yeah? What do you think happened?" The bite in his words was almost a physical barb, sticking into me and releasing poison as it drove deeper.

"I...honestly...don't know," I said, hating my voice for sounding so weak. "Jess thought she might be seeing someone from La Push."

"Not just that," Paul's response was so bitter, even in just those few words.

"What...do you mean?"

"Are you that dense?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, insulted, and a bit angry for his treatment of me.

"She's an imprint."

Time seemed to stand still, as clichéd as that sounded. I felt numb all over, from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes. I wasn't sure where to go with this next, though alarm bells were going off everywhere in my head. My irrational fear from before suddenly seemed so rational I wanted to run from it screaming and crying, though I couldn't do that. I couldn't allow myself to become that person again.

So, I asked the inevitable question. "Is...she yours?"

This confused him for some reason. I couldn't rid myself of my spiraling panic long enough to wonder why. He brushed his hands along the fabric of his jean shorts and then moved them to his hair, tangling them in the crudely cropped strands. "What are you even asking me?"

"Is Angela your imprint?" I asked. "It's a fairly straight forward question," I tried to joke.

He let out a strangled chuckle. "No...no. She's Embry's. Found out when I phased this morning to follow you to school."

All the oxygen returned to my body, and I exhaled, unsure of when exactly I started holding my breath. "Oh," was all I could say.

Paul did something completely unexpected, then. He laughed. It was a dark thing, as bitter as black coffee, but it was all his own. I wasn't sure why he was laughing, but then he said, "I thought someone had died the minute you came in here."

"What?"

"You looked as if you had killed them yourself," he said, continuing without even acknowledging my question. "I don't even think I've seen a _leech _that pale, Swan."

"Why are you making fun of me?" I demanded. "I couldn't help but be worried the minute the word _imprint _left your mouth."

"Why?" Paul asked, reckless and uncaring of how his attitude could hurt. "I don't see any reason why you'd care. None at all."

"I know you wouldn't want it to happen to you!" I was shouting now, thankful for the fact Charlie was still at work but unsure of where my sudden burst of anger came from. "I know how you don't want to be told what to do - or who to be with! I know that you would hate it if you imprinted, since you seem to be so adverse to the idea now! I didn't want you hurting over something that is an instinctual response - "

I cut myself off. I hadn't even realized all of these feelings had been bubbling inside me until they were being spewed from my mouth like venom. But once I started, I couldn't stop. A day's worth of worrying - probably more than that, if I was being truly honest with myself - was being released all on Paul as if he were the one that caused it. And, really, he was the one I was worried about, anyway.

"So don't even _tell me _you don't know why I'd care. Don't you even _dare_."

I unclenched my fists. Only now did I notice my blunt nails had dug into my palms in my anger.

Paul tilted his head to the side. I think I might have shocked him, but I didn't allow that thought much head space. It would take a lot to shock Paul, that's for sure. My chest was heaving, and I really noticed the gravity of my little explosion. Just how much I really believed the words I was saying, that and more. The _more _part being especially terrible.

"Okay, Bella," he said, and his rough voice was almost soothing. He still hadn't moved from his position on the bed, something that I found slightly unnerving, that he felt that comfortable around me to sit on my bed. This whole day had been an exercise in the bizarre. "Okay. Don't blow a blood vessel."

"You shouldn't be consoling me."

He shrugged in response. "You think _you _should console me?"

"I...don't know," I admitted. And, like vomit, the next words spilled from my mouth, "I was happy it wasn't you."

This shocked him, I could see it in his eyes, so dark and intense and yet they widened as the words left my mouth. He quickly fixed his mask, placing it back on his face with practiced expertise, looking as if I hadn't just laid my guts out on the table. "Yeah? Me too."

I cracked a smile - my first genuine smile since the conversation with Jessica that morning - and sat down on the bed next to him. I saw him tense, as if he wanted to run away. His fisted hands were in his lap, absent of the tremors that indicated an oncoming phase. I allowed him the proper space, not allowing even our legs to touch as we sat by each other. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I had the urge to touch him, to place my fingers on his knee and reassure him, but I kept them securely wrapped around the sleeves of my sweater.

"It might not happen to you," I said, addressing the silence, clenching my fingers so tightly around my sweater that I was certain to rip through the sleeves even more. The urge to touch him was insanely distracting.

"When did you become an optimist?" he asked, his grin razor sharp.

"Shut up," I told him.

The silence wrapped around us once more, covering us like a blanket as we sat there in awkward camaraderie.

"I can't have my will taken from me," he said, a strange finality to his voice. "I'd fight to the death."

"I know you would." The words came from my mouth easily, so much smoother than I'd thought ever possible for someone like myself. "That's who you are."

Paul's mouth contorted into a smile that, frankly, scared me somewhat. I wasn't sure why until I saw that my hand had wrapped around his fingers, squeezing gently.

"Can't keep your hands off me?"

"Shut up," I repeated.

And then, making me the one speechless, his fingers wrapped around mine.

* * *

_**End Chapter Twenty Three.**_


	24. Connect

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Twilight._

_Sorry for the long wait in updates! I've just finished my first semester of nursing school a few weeks ago and here's this. It was rather difficult to get back in the mood writing this so I hope that it is sufficient! Thanks so much for sticking with me during all of this! Means so much!_

* * *

**Playing With Fire  
****Chapter Twenty Four: Connect**

* * *

I guessed I shouldn't have been surprised when I got a voicemail from Angela the next day, saying, _"Can you meet? I would like to talk to you about some...things."_

As per the bond of imprinting on someone, the wolf told their imprint all of their secrets, even the ones that I would rather them not know. It is law, almost. Nothing kept from anyone. The very mention of complete disclosure seemed foreign to me, almost claustrophobic in nature. Such intimacy, such complete trust. I could not picture it. Could not even dream it.

But I supposed it was good for her.

Actually, I knew it was good for her. At least this made her happy. At least there were no messy strings attached. Embry and Angela didn't have a "Bella" or a "Leah" that would get hurt in response to the tribal nature of imprinting. And, for that, I was grateful. Of what I've seen of imprinting, more people got hurt than were actually happy. At least, at first.

So, I sighed as I walked to Angela's house, Paul tagging along as bodyguard. He told me that Embry would be there as well, so it wasn't a big deal that he came with me.

I turned to him as I knocked on Angela's door. "Don't be a jerk."

Paul smiled at me, a shark about to charge a seal. "Never."

On my third knock, the door swung open and immediately Angela was staring at me with such a kind expression it hurt my chest. It felt unbearably familiar, and it was then I knew she was aware of everything that had been happening ever since I came to Forks.

"Come in, please," she said, moving over to let us in.

I looked back at Paul, who gave me a shove in through the door. I almost yelped at his contact, surprising at it was.

Angela led us to her kitchen, where Embry was sitting, strangely proper for a wolf. His hands were in his lap, his eyes completely focused on the thin brunette in front of him. That strange devotion was still jarring, no matter how many times I was subjected to it. I supposed I was still shocked to see just how much they cared for one another. Shocked that people could actually stay together and be happy, unlike the path that myself and Edward went down.

"Can I get you two anything?" she asked politely. "I've made some cookies a while ago..."

Embry coughed awkwardly.

Angela looked over at him, a serene smile crossing her face. "Um...well, they used to be here."

"Damn, Embry," Paul said, stepping forward. He was crass and bold in his movements, a complete contradiction to the Webers' quaint home and Angela's generally pleasant and demure demeanor. "Only imprinted for two days and you're already eating the girl out of house and home."

Angela blushed; Embry scowled.

"Could be worse," I spoke up without realizing what I was saying.

Paul turned to look at me. I still stood awkwardly in the doorway to the kitchen, arms wrapped around myself with no clue where this was going.

"Yeah, I guess Angela could've fallen in love with a leech," Paul said, rolling his neck from side to side before stepping backwards and leaning his tall, muscular frame against the door.

Angela stared at me, the shock she had done such a good job in hiding was now plainly visible on her delicate features.

"It's true, then?" she asked after a few moments silence.

Paul then opted to roll his shoulders. "Embry wouldn't have lied to you. It's physically and mentally impossible for him to do now."

I wondered what that would be like. Not having anyone to lie to you. Not having any secrets. For it not being possible to keep secrets like that. Full disclosure. Again, the term was bizarre.

Angela was looking at me, her face a myriad of emotions, none of which were judgmental or condemning. She tilted her head to the side, and I figured she was waiting for my own answer before believing the obvious.

Swallowing a bit, I managed to force out, "Yeah. It's true."

I wasn't sure why I felt as if I was being grilled on the subject of Edward, but it really was uncomfortable, especially with all things considered. I had been constantly looking over my shoulder for what seemed like so long, just because Edward supposedly loved me enough to kill someone else's mate. And now that person's mate was trying to kill me.

I wondered if Angela knew all of this.

As if reading my thoughts, Paul asked, "What all do you know of Bella's situation?"

It was still shocking to hear him say my name. I wasn't sure why it was so jarring, but there was just something about it that held my head above water. I hadn't realized the place I was in until Paul said my name, and I was saved from drowning in the sorrow of past losses.

And I didn't like that feeling. Not one bit.

"Um...all that Embry knows," she replied. "All that he knew, he could tell me. Or, at least, that's what he said."

Paul shook his head, a bitter smile growing on his face. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets and slouched further against the wall. "You gotta get that doubt out of your head, girl. Embry's _yours _now. He is incapable of hiding anything from you."

Angela shifted uncomfortably. "It's just...hard to believe, is all."

It was then I noticed something that should have been apparent the moment I entered the room.

Angela tended to stand away from Embry. Though Embry looked to be aching to touch her, she angled herself away from his itching fingers. It was a strange contrast from yesterday, when she was practically glowing with the newfound bond of the imprint, but now it looked like confusion was settling in, making her doubt things that she had believed blindly at first. It was something she and I had in common - the inability to believe anything without dissecting it to pieces.

I wasn't sure what I was doing until I spoke, "Ah, can Angela and I have some...alone time? Just for a few minutes."

Paul looked like this was the last thing he ever wanted to give me. I didn't blame him. If I was Victoria, this would be the prime time to kill the one girl that had evaded me for so long _and _to get an extra snack in between.

A shudder rippled over me, but I mashed it down, trying not to alert Paul to my discomfort. For some reason, I didn't want him to see me like that. Weak. He'd seen me at some of my worst moments. I didn't want him to think I was regressing to the person I had been.

I turned my head to look at Paul. He had moved his arms to cross over his chest in what would have been a nonchalant manner had he not had the look of a madman on his features. I bit my lip, hating that I was angering him but having no other option. I felt the urge to talk to Angela, to comfort her in this strange new world she was in. To let her know that things would get better, that things weren't always this...convoluted.

But then I wondered if I was necessarily the best person to be offering this advice, since obviously my life hadn't become untangled since becoming involved with the supernatural.

"Yeah," Paul pushed himself off of the wall, rolling his neck from side to side as he did so. "I guess."

It was then I noticed the understanding that emitted from him. It was like he knew what I was going to do, knew that I was going to try to comfort Angela in a time that she needed to hear it the most, from someone that wasn't obligated to tell her everything she wanted to hear.

I saw Embry give Paul a look of disbelief. He walked over to his pack mate with eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Paul - "

Paul held out a hand. "Let the girls have their girl time. I'm sure you've been smothering Angela ever since you got here."

"Oh, no, that's not - " Angela tried to protest, but Paul gave her a look that could turn sand into glass.

"We won't be far," Paul said, giving me a reassuring nod before walking out the door, Embry in tow.

The separation from Paul was jarring. Even though it was something I was used to, with having to go to school and whatnot, he was never that far from me. I watched him as he walked to the door and shut it behind him, hating the fact that I felt such an attachment to him.

I looked at Angela, who had turned away from me, directing her gaze out of the window. Her hand was rubbing absently at her elbow, a nervous tic I supposed I wasn't privy to until now.

"Ang?" I ventured, stepping closer.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Bella?" she asked, her tone soft.

I wasn't sure how to broach the subject with her. I didn't want to be accusatory and assume that things, in her mind, weren't perfect, but I did want to tell her that it would all be alright.

"Are you happy?" Oh, yeah, that was a great way to start things.

This caught her off guard. She looked confused for a moment, and then gave an exasperated smile in my direction. "Yes. I'm just...tired."

I looked at her, trying to convey a sense that she was able to freely talk in my presence. When that didn't seem to work, I out-and-out said, "I'm here if you need to talk, you know."

Angela stepped forward, no longer facing me but again looking out the window. "It's just...a lot to accept, his feelings for me. They're so intense, and yet he'd never even laid eyes on me until the other day." She scoffed a bit. "And I like him. I do. He's sweet and always attentive, but...it's just weird, is all. Hard to wrap my head around."

It was the most I'd ever heard Angela speak in one setting. I supposed that was a testament to where my head had been the past several months. I stepped forward, not looking at where she had her back facing me, and pressed my hip bones into the counter, gently fingering the fringe of a potholder that was randomly placed there.

"I just don't see how he could love me so blindly," she finished, still not looking at me.

"What do you mean?" I prodded.

She continued. "I did nothing. Nothing at all, and he loves me. He told me he knew he loved me the day he saw me. That it was a part of imprinting." Angela heaved a great sigh, as if getting ready to life a dreadful weight. "It's irrational."

"Love often is."

I hadn't realized I had spoken until Angela turned to look at me. Her light brown eyes were curious in her face, as if while reading she had just gotten to a paragraph that she could not comprehend.

"For you, too?"

My heart leapt a bit at her words, unsure of who she was specifying. I didn't damn myself by saying a name, only nodded in response.

Angela gave me a smile. "Must have been hard, keeping all that to yourself all that time."

I shrugged. "I loved Edward. I'd have done anything for him."

"And now?"

The two words seemed harmless when applied to any other situation, but when put in that order, and asked in these specific set of circumstances, they became the spark inside a room full of gunpowder.

She seemed to realize this, seemed to realize my apprehension, and that opened me up after a long moment of silence to say, "You should tell Embry your thoughts and concerns. The only reason he imprinted on you in the first place is the fact that his wolf realized you were the perfect fit for him in every way, even in that one moment."

Angela shook her head in a skeptical manner. "It just seems really odd, now that I've had time to think about it." Absently, she reached up and grasped the small dreamcatcher that hung at the hollow of her throat. "I never realized how much a commitment of that magnitude frightened me."

"Few do," I said, turning around and leaning my back against the counter. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye before I sighed and stared at my shoes. "It'll all work out, though. It always does."

Angela made a funny little noise in the back of her throat. "You believe so?"

"I'm living proof."

She scuffed one of her sock-clad feet along the tiles of the kitchen floor. "You do seem better."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "It's really nice to see, Bella."

The bitter curve of a smile made its way onto my face. "It's nice to _feel _this way."

"Are you happy?" she asked, mimicking my earlier question.

I met her eyes. It was a strange question. Any other time, I'd lie and say I was fine when I was really miserable without Edward. But now...

I gave her a smile. "I'm...content, to an extent. Once Victoria's gone, I'll be able to really...relax."

Angela nodded. I kept focus on her socks. Fuzzy and striped with the alternating colors of green and blue. Somehow this helped me keep my head when in reality everything was flooding back. Paul and Riley and Edward. Protection and propositions and possession. I didn't know what to do with these thoughts, so I just offered, "If it ever gets to be too suffocating, just tell him. He will understand that you need some time to adjust."

"You think so?"

"I _know _so."

I shoved myself away from the counter, moving to leave the kitchen. "I'll go get them. They're bound to be restless, especially Embry, for being away from you for so long."

Angela blushed. "I'll have to apologize for that."

I waved a hand. "Not your fault."

As I made my way to the front door, I found that Angela had followed me. She kept her distance, as if afraid of what she was doing might just break me. I wasn't sure why I had this feeling. She said herself I looked better, so why was she -

"Bella?" she asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

I turned around, hand still on the doorknob, answering question in my eyes.

"What will you do if...if..._Paul _imprints?"

Now that was out of left field. Suddenly, I was swirling back to my panicked phase when I found out about the fact that a wolf had imprinted on Angela, and I didn't know who that wolf was. Thinking it was Paul. Frantic for answers. The relief I felt when I found out that it wasn't Paul, but not just for his well-being, but for my own selfish, selfish desires...

The answer was simple, and it flowed freely from my lips as I opened the door and stepped out.

"I honestly don't know," I replied, and let the door swing shut behind me.

* * *

_**End Chapter Twenty Four.**_


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